It's you and it's me
by Curious Girl
Summary: After nearly one year of marriage everything falls apart in just one second for Gabriella Bolton.She left him for good, but then one big surprise turns her world upside down once more.They ruined each other, but can time fix them again?   Sequel to YTICH.
1. 3 years later

**The sequel to 'You're the one I can't have' everyone! Super excited about it! I'm still writing this story, unlike 'You're the one I can't have' this one isn't any where near to be finished. There won't be a sequel to 'Our Project' because I can't seem to find any inspiration. There might be a long period of waiting for the next chapter, because I still have to write it and I don't really have a lot of time since school has started again. I'm going to graduate (if nothing goes wrong) in two years, which means I better get my butt up and start to study for some tests.**

**Please review and tell me what you think about the first chapter.**

**Xoxo Nicole  
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1. 3 years later**

I opened the door of our apartment in Knightsbridge, London. It was a dream apartment, right not apartment they're called _flats_. The 125 m^2 were divided into 17 rooms: Five guestrooms for the _many_ guests who will visit us Troy said, a bathroom for every guestroom plus one for our bedroom and one on the first floor, a huge living room along with a white grand piano and a fireplace just like in our bedroom, a kitchen in which sadly only Troy cooks, a walk-in closet (manly used by me) or walk-in cupboard as the Britians say, but the best place about this flat was the rooftop. The rooftop had a view of whole London and after a long day at work it was nice to jump into the jacuzzi with a glass of wine and a lovely husband next to you. There was nothing better than that - well for me, anyways. For Troy on the other hand, London wasn't what he had expected. He expected the life in London would be easier, the long hours of working would be reduced but he soon realized that London would be worse than New York, in many many ways…

But the wish of working less, was just one of many wishes which didn't come true for him.

One of the wishes was me recording my album at Bolton's. He wasn't pleased about the fact that I was going to record my record via Warner Brothers, but he expected it eventually (as soon as I explained my reasons). To my surprise, recording an album was much more work than I expected… and that's why I didn't do it. Instead, I continued working as a producer, but this time at Warner Brothers and not at Bolton's. I got my independency back and never have had any regrets ever since.

Another wish from him was his father to let us live our lifes in London. Of course, Jack couldn't keep his nose out of our lifes. He tried to talk him into a divorce ever since we got married, which was nearly a year ago. I couldn't believe that it's been nearly a year. It took a year to arrange everything, to set up a date, to print all these invitations (we invited 350 guests - talk about a small wedding)… it was a lot to do on your own. And we wanted to do everything ourselves. We wanted to do it on our own because then everything would be more personal and not so… normal, so average. It should be a wedding no one would forget and it turned out to be exactly what we hoped for.

In the end, we wished we would have hired a wedding planner instead, because boy it had been a lot of work! But the wedding day itself was the most perfect day of my life. From the ceremony to the ride with the speedboat which took us to an island in the Maledives which was a wedding gift from Troy's parents. We spent there 2 months, two whole months! I didn't even believe that Troy would bear that long without his work, but it turned out to be he did. And how he did. He showed me a complete new face from him. We did everything together… from Yoga to diving It was a dream honeymoon. A dream which ended as soon as our feet touched London's ground. After a couple of days in the brokerage office, we finally found the perfect apartment for us, with a monthly rent of nearly 3 milion pound. At first I was against living in such circumstances, but Troy insisted to live here and nowhere else. And how can you say no to your husband, who just wants the best for you?

But after this year of marriage there was still one thing missing in our lifes. One thing which everyone expected from us, which everyone asked us as soon as they heared we were married for nearly one year. And that thing, -that thing which made Jake angry and everyone else sad- was a child. The biggest wish of my husband, which I couldn't fullfill yet. I told him, I wasn't ready. I told him, we couldn't have a child if we work so hard. I told him every possible lie I could create. But I knew that he knew.

I knew he wanted to have children with me so badly that soon the sex started to go after my period. The sex started to be forced. Sometimes it felt like the love was gone…

And now that was when the problem started. The problem wasn't me getting pregnant, the problem was me _keeping_ it. But about all that Troy didn't know and neither did Jack, just like the rest of the world. It was my little secret. My dark secret. I had been pregnant four times. And every time I lost it in the first three months. It's been nearly three years since I stopped taking the pill and in those years I had been pregnant four times, four bloody times. I was mad at myself. Why couldn't I give Troy what he wanted? Why?

But he didn't realize that I had been pregnant. He didn't realize how my body changed every time there was life growing inside of me. And I was glad he didn't. So glad.

Of course the first time I was pregnant, he was happy - I told him the news as soon as I knew it- but after a couple of weeks I lost it. Just like you loose your keys, it's that easy…

It was like the world around us fell apart.

That's why I decided to not tell him about my pregnancies before I was over my fourth month. Leading to him not knowing about the other three pregnancies I had.

Living under one roof with Troy turned out to be exactly as I thought. He was coming home early in the morning of the next day, there was rarely sex and I had to play the desperate housewife while he was in his office. I worked, but not as much as Troy. I had long days, but not as many as he. I missed him in the bed next to me, but I wasn't sure if he missed me. I wasn't sure if the love just grew on one side, while the other side was busy with things such as meetings, late phone calls and paperwork. I love him -always will- but I was wondering if love was all we needed to stay together.

I caught myself sitting in the living room, beside me a hot coffee, staring into space. Letting my mind wander. And those thoughts went from worse to worst. In the end of a long day of work, I wanted my husband to be there for me- just once would be enough. But instead of sitting in front of the fireplace and talking about the hard, long day I had, I was left alone. Like before. Like many times before. And I started to get sick of it. Sick of everything. Of the air, the traffic, the people… of the city itself. For what it's worth, the city is not to blame. The city itself is a beautiful one. You just have to be happy in it. Just happy.

To my surprise, the media was even worse than in New York City. The paparazzi followed us everywhere, like we were some famous couple which we are not. I mean, yeah I wrote a 'couple' of hit-singles and a 'couple' of No.1 records but that was it. _I_ didn't write a hit album, neither did Troy. I probably will never know what the media likes about us.

It was another rainy day in London, another day just like they had been before. I got used to the rain, used to the bad mood which surrounded me… Just like I got used to me being alone in our flat.

I made myself a glass of wine and sat on the dark red couch in the living room. I took a sip of my red wine, looked at the watch above the fire place - 1:45 a.m. - and looked out of the window. The rain had been going on for days now and according to some meteorologist the rain won't stop until the end of the week. My mind started to wander as I watched the rain drops making its way from the sky to the ground...

_Maybe we shouldn't have moved to London. I hate it here. Well, not hate but… dislike. But Troy's happy here and that's all that matters, right?_

_No, that's not all that matters. I have been nothing but giving everything for our lifes since we moved here and he has done nothing but work. He has done nothing but working. Nothing but business meetings, business dinners, business drinks. And I am sick of it. I mean, I love working here. It was something new, something fresh… something different. But I miss my friends. I miss Ashley and Sue. I miss talking to them in a café not over the phone. Even though I do have friends in London, I miss my other friends. I miss… parts of my old life, I guess. But I can't tell Troy about this. I just can't. It had been my decision to move to London and that's where the story ends. I guess I must lie in the bed I have made._

_What else am I-_

My thoughts got interrupted by the front door opening, but I couldn't bring my body to move into the direction it was suppose to. I couldn't bring myself to move an inch, because I was still too caught up in my thoughts.

I heard him walking into the flat, getting off his shoes, his coat and placing his umbrella into the umbrella stand. I heard everything, but I was unable to see. I was unable to face my husband. Unable to face the love of my life. Instead of turning around, I took another sip of my tea.

"You're home early." I managed to say as I still watched the rain drops falling.

"It's pouring."

He walked up to me, with small steps and hugged me from behind. The red wine sloshed all over my grey and blue Yale sweater.

"Shit, can't you be more careful?" I cruised as I got off the couch and placed the cup on the table.

"Gabriella, I'm sorry I-"

"You know what? Just leave it!" I said in an angry voice as I walked into the bathroom. On my way, I got off the wet sweater. My white socks were wet also, so I almost fell on the marble floor which lead to the bathroom. I heard him walking behind me.

"Just go to bed already. I will get out the fucking spot myself." I mumbled to him as I reached the bathroom.

"Why are you-" I stopped him with slamming the bathroom door shut. I was not in the mood for talking. Not in the mood for talking to him anyways. _Why_ was it so hard to talk to my husband? Why was everything so damn hard lately? It's not that I don't want to talk to him. It's just I can't. Something makes me want to cruise and yell at him as soon as he shows some love.

I sighed and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Then my eyes started to fill with tears and I washed my face with water. I was sick of this life. So sick! Sick of everything and everyone! I took a deep breath, before I started to try to get that stupid spot out of my Yale sweatshirt.

I tried my best with every spot remover and water, which didn't really help much except the spot did seem to get a little brighter. I sighed as I saw the result of 10 minutes of rubbing, before I slammed my sweater into the washing machine. I put in washing agent and press start. Then I let my body slowly slide down to the ground and I covered my face with my hands. I took deep breaths, trying to calm down. I wasn't going to cry again. Not again. I have been having those breakdowns a lot lately and I couldn't take it any more. Not any more.

With one last deep breath I got off of the floor and looked at my reflection again. I fixed my hair and opened the door of the bathroom.

With a black laces bra and gray sweatpants I walked down the corridor into the master bedroom. Troy was already in his black BOSS boxers, ready to go to bed. His eyes catched mine as soon as I entered the bedroom. I started to feel guilty. He didn't deserve a galled woman like me. He deserves better.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I'm a little galled lately." I said and supported my apology with my hands.

No response. No reaction. No emotional reaction anyways. His eyes were without any emotion at all.

"Aren't you going to react in any way?" I asked him.

Instead of answering me he walked up to me -very slowly- and kissed me. I gave in. I let go of everything and gave in. I needed to relax -and yeah I needed my husband right now without yelling for once.

Hours later I lay naked in an empty bed with just a blanket to cover me. Troy went into the bathroom to take a shower while I just lay there. I smiled. The sex hasn't been as good as this one in a long time. The sex wasn't pressured as it had been lately. It was great.

Troy's ringing cellphone interrupted the silence in the bedroom. I rolled over to see who was calling, there was no picture but there was a name. Amanda. Just Amanda, no last name, nothing… Just Amanda. Even though I could take the call, I still didn't. It would be wrong to take a call from someone else. Even if that someone is your husband. So I let the cellphone ring… and ring… and ring until it stopped. I was confused. Who was Amanda? And why was Amanda calling Troy? A message on Troy's cellphone appeared, saying that there was one voice mail. I knew I shouldn't listen to that voice mail, but I was just too curious not to. So I did. I did press the button to listen to the voice mail.

_Hi Troy it's Amanda. Listen, I know we weren't suppose to meet tonight, but I __really__ have to… you know, have you. Give me a call and we'll meet up at 2:30 in the Ritz. Oh and I'll make sure to not wear any perfume this time._

My jaw dropped. I was shocked. Literally shocked. I couldn't believe what I just heard. But I also couldn't bring myself to hear it again, so I'd be sure I heard right. My husband was betraying me. So while I was lieing in the bed -in which we just had sex by the way- my unfaithful husband was taking a shower, not having a clue that I knew about his activities.

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**Terrible or awesome? Nice or bad?**

**Don't forget to review!**


	2. How long?

**A brand new chapter, everyone! Enjoy reading it.**

**Xoxo Nic  
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**2. How long?**

I was speechless for about five more minutes since I heard that voice mail. Then I felt the anger built up inside of me, second by second I got angrier and angrier. How could he do this to me? How could he cheat on me? I thought he loves me! Does I even matter for him? Does this marriage even matter to him? Does this ring mean nothing to him?

Eventually, I got up and with Troy's cellphone in my hands I stormed into the bathroom. The white marble bathroom with gray furniture and a jacuzzi in the floor didn't stop me from exploring.

"How long?" I yelled at Troy as he got out of the shower.

"Gabriella, what are you talking about?" he asked me, pretending to not know what I was talking about.

"How long have you been sleeping with that whore?" I yelled again.

"What are you-"

I held his cellphone up high, "Amanda was it, right? How long have you been sleeping with Amanda, Troy!" It wasn't a question. It was a demand to tell me the truth.

He was silent.

"God damn, I asked how long!" I yelled and threw his cell after him. But I didn't hit my husband, instead the cellphone hit a white marble floor before it broke into thousands of pieces.

He was shocked by my reaction, but then he finally answered me. "Three months."

Did he just- "Three months? Three fucking months, Troy? You have been sleeping with her since three months?" I yelled at him and coverd my mouth as the tears fell down my cheeks.

He started to walk to me, "Gab-"

I shook my head, trying to find the right words, "Don't. Don't you ever come near me again!" I yelled as I stormed out of the bathroom, straight into the bedroom again. I heard him behind me, sighing.

"It isn't what you think!" he said in a calm voice, on our way from the bathroom into the bedroom.

"Yeah right. It is _exactly_ what I think it is." I said in angry voice as I got out a suitcase.

"Gabriella, listen to me." he started and touched my shoulders from behind.

I took a deep breath because it would be the last time I would feel the hands of my husband on my shoulders. Then I turned around and looked into his eyes.

"We-" I cut my husband off with a slap in his face.

"Don't ever touch me again. You betrayed me. _You_ betrayed me with some whore called Amanda! _You_ decided to cheat on me the second you saw her with one of those dirrty looks of yours. _You_ did this to _me_. So now don't try to fix this. Because there's nothing left to be fixed." I said with tears rolling down my face. After my quite impressive speech as I thought, I started to throw stuff into my suitcase. "She's a blonde, isn't she? She's blonde and has blue eyes and the perfect body. She's not built like me, is she? She's not as stupid as me, isn't she? Because _she_ would have noticed if you cheated on her!"

"What are you doing?" he asked me shocked.

"What the fuck do you think I am doing, huh?" I yelled at him before I walked into the walk-in closet to get out a bunch of clothes and shoes. "I am not staying here any more second. I am not going to stay in this apartment while you enjoy yourself with _Amanda_!" I yelled as I threw the clothes into my suitcase. Then I wiped my tears away and took deep breaths to calm down. He just stood in the door frame, unable to move.

"Gabriella, please don't-"

"Do _I_ even matter to you? Do the rings we wear even matter to you? Does this _marriage_ matter to you? Do you even care about anything but yourself?" I yelled as I closed the suitcase and once again walked to the walk-in closet again.

"Of course-" I cut him off with a slamming door.

Then I let my body slowly slide against the door down to the floor and cried. I cried until I was able to control myself again. Then I got up, got dressed and opened the door again. I walked into the bedroom again and found not only my suitcase, but a waiting Troy also.

"Please, let me explain-"

"There is absolutely nothing to explain. _Nothing_!" I said in an angry voice and got my suitcase from him.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. Away from you." I said and sobbed. Then I walked with the suitcase rolling behind me, to the front door. I was about to open the door when Troy blocked it.

"Gabriella, please don't leave me. I'm sorry, but it isn't what you think it was-"

"I swear if you don't move and let me go, a divorce is the least you have to expect!" I said, not looking into his face. I couldn't face him. I couldn't face my unfaithful husband.

He moved from the doorframe so I could go.

"Take at least your keys!" he yelled after me.

I pushed the button for the elevator to come, "I won't need them, because I am not coming back." I said and walked into the elevator. "Don't even bother to contact me." That were the last words I exchanged with a faithlessness of husband. I looked at my reflection in the mirror of the elevator and started to cry immediately. What did I do to deserve this? Why does this always happen to me? Why am I a magnet to bad things?

I wiped away the tears and put on my sunglasses as I left the elevator. I quickly grabbed a taxi without even looking back at the house.

"Where to, Miss?" the driver asked me after he helped me with my suitcase.

"Heathrow airport, please." I ordered and he nodded, before we took off.

I watched the rainy London as we drove to the Heathrow airport and I didn't even feel bad about leaving London behind. Especially not the persons. Because I had to. There was no other decision for me. I had to leave it all behind. I just had to.

After 15 minutes I found myself in front of an information desk.

"I need a ticket to Los Angeles as soon as possible." I ordered and the lady behind the desk just nodded.

"Let's see what I can do for you, Mrs Bolton." she said and looked at the computer infront of her.

"Call me Gabriella." I said and slowly looked around, scanning my area.

"Okay Gabriella, there's a plane taking off in 40 minutes." she said.

"Good, I take that one." I said and took a deep breath, telling myself not to have another break-down at the airport. I couldn't break down with thousands of people watching me.

And as the plane lifted off, I felt like I would leave everything bad behind me. Like I was about to have a fresh start. I had the exact feeling as I have had when I moved back to New York City 7 years ago. But this time tears were rolling down my cheeks. Because I left off with a broken heart. With a heart which was ripped into thousands of pieces.

"Is everything alright, Miss?" my neighbor asked me. He was on a business trip, no doubt. He was wearing a dark gray suit with a light blue tie. His hair was black and piercing green eyes. At my guess, he was about 27 years old and not married as his left hand showed me and he had green eyes. Such a nice color...

"No nothing is. Everything is falling apart right now." I answered and he tried to console me with a warm smile.

"It's a long flight to L.A., if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, feel free to contact me." the man said and I nodded before I smiled.

I couldn't believe that Troy cheated on me for three months. I couldn't believe that _I_ didn't notice anything. How could I be so blind? How could he do this to me! I thought he loved me! I thought _I_ meant something to him! I thought _this marriage_ meant something to him! I thought…

It was more than just sleeping with that woman. You wouldn't sleep with a woman for three months unless it means something. And you also wouldn't sleep with another woman if your wife means something to you. If the love you feel for her would still exist. But it doesn't. Maybe never even did. Perhaps, I didn't change Troy but instead he changed me. He made me make decision I would never do. And now he betrayed me. He loves another woman. He cheated on me. He stabbed my back without even caring for the pain which I would feel. He stopped carrying for me a long time ago and I didn't even notice it. How could I not notice it? How blind and deaf am I?

I felt the tears rolling down like water. It was horrible. So horrible that I couldn't stop crying.

The man hugged me as soon as he realized that I was crying, "Hey no man is worth the tears."

"If it's the right one, he is." I said sobbing.

"He isn't the right one if he makes you cry." He said and removed the rolling tears with his thumb.

I let out a little smile, "You have a point in that."

"There you go, you can already smile again." he answered with a warm smile on his face, "I'm George." he added and I let out a little laugh.

"Right, this is so stupid of me. I should have introduced myself, I'm Gabriella."

He face went blank for a second, because he recognized me. He knew who I was. He knew why I was crying and he also knew that I was crying because of Troy. But then his face changed into normal again, "It's nice to meet you, Gabriella." he said and faked a smile. This was going to be one interesting flight for sure.

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	3. He cheated on me

**A new chapter! I know it's short, but better than nothing.**

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3. He cheated on me**

The door got opened in front of me after I rang three times. It was raining cats and dogs while I was standing in front of the only destination I could have thought of. And it was also in the middle of the night - two a.m. to be exact - meaning no paparazzo would be in front of my best friend's house. So, here I was in the middle of the night, in which it was pouring but that didn't matter because it hid my tears, the tears caused by my cheating husband.

"Gabriella, what are you doing here?" my brunette friend asked me worried.

I sobbed, "He cheated on me, Ash."

Her shocked face looked at me, before she pulled me into a hug - the hug which I needed. "Gosh, I'm so sorry, Gabs." she said while she rubbed my wet back.

I cried. I cried into her shoulder and suddenly I did feel something. Something like hope. I knew that someday everything will be better, but I also knew that it would be a long way until someday.

A male dark haired person appeared behind my brunette friend, he had been there for her since she moved to Los Angeles and his name was Scott.

His face looked as surprised as Ashley's was when she saw me the first time, but it quickly changed into a worried look, "What's wrong?" he asked us both.

But I couldn't answer, because I couldn't stop crying. I just couldn't stop crying.

"Would you mind taking care of the cab and her luggage?" Ashley asked him instead.

"Sure…" he said a little confused and left into the pouring rain.

"Alright sweetie, how about we go into the living room?" Ashley asked and I just nodded. There was nothing more that I could do - expect taking off my shoes and my coat before entering the living room.

"Okay honey, we're going to sit down and then you're going to cry on my shoulder." Ashley said and I did what she ordered.

I was still crying and I wasn't anywhere near being calm. I felt like I was now fully realizing what happened only hours ago. I felt like my whole world was breaking apart.

Hours later my eyes hurt, just like my head and I was finally ready to talk about everything.

Scott left after he made us two cups of tea and gave me a box of tissues. He knew that the two best friends just needed to be alone for a while.

"Alright, are you ready to talk?" Ashley asked me.

I nodded, but couldn't start.

"It's okay. Just start whenever you're ready." she said and my eyes stared into space.

A couple of minutes later I took a deep breath, "I want a divorce."

My brunette friend looked at me confused, "A divorce? You want a divorce?"

"I think."

"Honey, why don't you just tell me what happened?" she asked me and I looked at her.

"An affair, lasting 3 months now with some chick called _Amanda_."

"WHAT? An affair? No! I mean, you guys are like… Hell that asshole! How dare he betray you! How-"

"I know and that's why I took the next flight to L.A. I just needed my best friend."

"Aww!" she said while hugging me, "Well, what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I did everything for him. I even moved to freakin' London to make him happy."

"But I thought you wanted this…"

"Oh spare me that shit! I did it for _him_. Only for him. I never wanted to leave the States. In fact, I never wanted to leave New York City. But I did… for only one stupid man. How could he do this to me? HOW could he cheat on me?"

"But… a divorce? Really?" she asked me, "I mean maybe it was just…" she stopped because she knew it was useless.

"I am not happy with him." I said, still looking at the fireplace. "I am not happy with him." I repeated looking at her now.

"But I thought you love each other."

I faked a laugh, "Well I can see _how much_ he loves me now."

"Gabriella listen, you shouldn't rush it. Maybe you guys just need some time away from each other. Maybe you guys need a break from each other."

"Ashley, he has been sleeping with her over 3 months! This wasn't just a mistake. He has another woman! This wasn't just a one-night stand. This was an affair, hell it probably still is. In fact, I bet he's sleeping with her right at this moment." I said and sobbed, "Gosh, how could I have been so stupid? I should have seen it, should have somehow known…"

"Gabs…"

"No it is all my fault. If I were pregnant now, he wouldn't have done it. I… I should be pregnant. But I am not. Why did I lose it, huh? How fucking pathetic am I?"

"Gabriella stop it! This isn't your fault."

"Leah's pregnant again, did you know that? _She_ is pregnant, while I am just waiting to lose another baby."

"Another…?"

"I had been pregnant more than once, Ashley. Four times to be exact. And I lost it, every freaking time."

She was shocked for a while but then she hugged me. "Gabs, I'm so sorry… I… I didn't know it… Why-"

"Why didn't I tell you? Because I felt like… like a looser for god's sake! I… I hate myself for it. I wore myself down for it. I couldn't fulfill his wish and I hated myself for it."

"Gabriella, don't you dare feel like a looser! You are the strongest person I know! You are everything _but_ a looser!" she said while rubbing my back.

"Ashley, everything's falling apart right now…"

"But you have me to catch you when you fall." she said with a warm smile on her face, "And you can stay here as long as you want."

So I decided that this was what I would do. I would stay until I was ready to face him again. And while I was getting better and better by each day I spent at Ashley's house, my inner voice got stronger and stronger telling me only one thing: _**You need to get a divorce.

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**_**Please review!  
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	4. My fresh start

**New Chapter! I know it's short, but the next one will be better, promise.**

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**4. My fresh start**

After three weeks in Ashley's house, I decided to look for an apartment. I was living in the guest house and I finally learned how to cook. Three weeks around Ashley and I learn how to cook, how great is that? In those whole three weeks I barely left the house. I went shopping with Ashley once, but that trip ended as soon as we left Urban Outfitters because there were hundreds of photographers following us. Surprise, surprise they weren't following us because of Ashley's fame status, no they were following us because of my separation with you know who. I decided I better stay in the guesthouse until the situation has cooled down...

The life with Ashley was great, but I felt like I was getting in between her and Scott, which I of course didn't want.

It hurt, every freakin' second I felt this pain in my chest. This pain which didn't seem to back as easy off as the paparazzi did. The first weeks I just cried myself to sleep every single night. It hurt being apart from him. But what hurts the most is knowing that he had enough women who wanted to take my place, so he would have just to choose one. He has the easy part in this. It is me who got deeply hurt. And it is me who feels lonely now.

Troy called me every day. And I ignored those calls every day. After a couple of days he finally got the idea to better call Ashley than me. So, she's talking to him. She's taking over my job, because frankly I am not ready to talk to him…

_Flashback_

_"Isn't it good that I have a guesthouse?" Ashley asked me as we passed the pool._

_"Yeah, it's pretty good for this situation right now." I answered and opened the door of the beige guesthouse. The inside was nice, a big bed was in the center. A bar was behind the bed, on the left and on the right was each a room._

_"Okay on the left we have a bathroom with a shower, bath tube, toilet and a washbowl. On the right is a walk-in closet." she said and smiled, but her smile dropped as soon as she realized that I only had a suitcase filled with some clothes, "Right we'll go shopping tomorrow." she said._

_"That'd be nice." I said and showed her a soft smile._

_She hugged me, "Everything is going to be okay."_

_I was about to say something but the phone cut me off._

_"I'll get that. How about you start unpacking in the walk-in closet?" she said and I walked into the right room._

_"Hello?" I heared Ashley's voice answering the call. "Took you long enough to find out where she is."_

_I froze in the room, she was talking to Troy._

_"How __**dare you**__ do that to her?" she said in a loud whisper tone. "Yeah well that _certainly _doesn't matter now, Bolton." she said and started to walk around in the room._

_I couldn't bare to hear this conversation, "Ash, what do you think about Urban Outfitters and Planet blue tomorrow?" I yelled._

_"Sounds like a plan to me!" she yelled back, "Yeah, that was her Troy." she answered Troy in the same whisper tone as before, "No you won't talk to her."_

_I smiled, Ashley knew what was best for me right now._

_"Because she didn't picked up when you called now, did she? And _that_ should tell you that she isn't anywhere near being ready to talk to you again. So that's why you won't get to talk to her. She will talk with you once she's ready. Give her time."_

_There was a very long pause and I started to wonder what he said._

_"Listen, I better go now. Don't try to contact her in the next few weeks." she said and hung up._

_End of Flashback_

She gave him the updates, I couldn't give. She made him feel like he was still a part of my life - after two weeks of nothing. I couldn't stop Ash, because… well she's Ashley.

But after one week of hearing them on the phone, I decided that it was time to leave the beige guesthouse behind and start looking forward. I rented an apartment in the Villas at Park La Brea Apartments. After one week of painting and two days of moving in, I was finally home. Well as homelike as it felt like. That was three months ago.

It was a two bed-and two bathroom apartment. It had two floors, which made it almost like my apartment back in New York. The bedrooms along with one bathroom were on the second floor, while the living room, the kitchen and another bathroom were on the first. I loved it here. My bedroom had a nice green on one wall, while the rest were plain white. It was a little tricky to get all my clothes into the bedroom, but it eventually worked. The living room had a nice bright blue color with dark brown words on the wall such as _Faith, Believe, Truth, Love _(in which I stopped believing but I thought the font was nice), _Cheater, Asshole and Jerk_ would be better words, now that I think of it.

The kitchen was white and had a marble floor. It was open and right next to the living room, it was also small but big enough for me. The bathroom on the first floor had a shower, a washing bowl and a toilet, it had a light gray color and a nice size. My bathroom on the second floor had a jacuzzi, a shower and everything else the other bathroom had. _This_ was going to be my new home. _This_ was going to be my new life.

Three weeks later:

I was sitting in my living room, drinking wine out of a big wine glass, looking out of my window. I saw a couple getting out of a black Range Rover Sport, the women said something to the man, he smiled, she repeated his smile and then they kissed.

I wish I could have that. I wish my life wouldn't be so messed up. It was always me who wished for another life. I wish-

My thoughts got interrupted by my doorbell ringing. I drank the glass empty before I slowly got my butt of the couch and walked to the front door. It rang again as I passed the fireplace. And then again.

"I'm coming!" I yelled and sighed. Who was in front of my door at that time? It was 10 p.m.!

I didn't expect anyone, I thought as I reached the front door. And I especially didn't expect _that_. I didn't expect my husband standing in front of my apartment.

Like in trance I opened the door.

"We need to talk." he said with that serious voice he only used with his clients. He was holding up a light brown big envelope and I knew what was in it. Because I sent them just a week ago. Look how fast Fedex can be if it wants to. I thought they would reach him in about 3 weeks. But not in just one.

I held the door opened with my left arm and watched him walking into my new apartment for my new life - so much to my good resolutions.

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**Please review! Xoxo Nic**


	5. Divorce Papers

**New Chapter, new reviews - I hope. Enjoy it :)  
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****5. Divorce papers**

My eyes followed him as the entered my living room. He looked good with the new light grey coat, the dark jeans and the white chemise. He looked good and when you're a Bolton you always look good.

"Who told you where I live?" I asked him. It was the first and at the same time dorkiest question which I could ask him. My eyes were focused on the wall. I couldn't look him into his face.

"Ashley told me that." he said as he looked around. He had his poker face on and I always hated that face. He held up the envelope, "Divorce papers?"

"Oh good, so now talking around the bush." I said out loud.

"Are you serious?" He asked me again.

"Of course I am serious!" I almost yelled at him, "You ruined this. You ruined us! You decided to sleep with Amanda and who the hell else! I-"

"It wasn't all me, Gabriella. You distant yourself from me!" he said in a loud voice.

"I did not!" I protested even though I knew it was wrong.

"Yes you did and you know it!"

"You're just mad at me because _you_ have ruined another marriage! You're just mad because the media will make mincemeat of you! You're just mad because you disappointed_ your father_! _You_ can't bear being a disappointment to your family. The _little Bolton_ has made another mistake. Well guess what-" he slapped me.

He slapped me into my face. I was shocked by the strength of this slap and felt a tear rolling down my dark red burning cheek.

"Get out." I said in a shaky voice.

"Gabriella I'm-"

"GET OUT!" I yelled and pointed to the door.

He didn't say anything. He just walked back to the front door. "Don't think I will sign this just like that." he mumbled in a voice I could clearly hear.

"I didn't expect it any other way." I said and slammed the door shut. I turned around and let my body slide to the floor before I burst into tears. This marriage has just hit it's climax - too bad the climax isn't good.

I was finally getting used to the pain in my chest when he turned up totally out of the blue. Thanks to him the pain is now stronger than ever. And thanks to him my life has hit a new rock bottom.

My ringing cellphone caused me minutes ago to get up and walk to it. It was Ashley.

I picked it up without saying anything.

"I'm sorry that I told him, but you know how convincing he can be. Listen, I know I shouldn't have told him and that this is a thing between you and him and it's absolutely not my business, but Gabs you are my best friend and I just want to see you happy. And he makes you happy." she said so fast that only I could have understand that.

"No he doesn't Ashley." I said still feeling the tears rolling down my face again.

"What? Honey, are you...crying? Was he already there? What happened? Why are you crying? Hold on, I'm going to come over. I'll be there in just a second." she said and I heard her slamming a door shut.

"Ash?"

"What? What is it, sweetie?" she asked me as she started her car.

"Thanks." I said after I sobbed and even smiled a little bit.

"Always. Best friends are forever."

"But don't you have plans with Scott? Listen, I really don't want to get in between-"

"He will understand."

"But-"

"No buts. I'll be there in five minutes." she said and hung up before I could say anything else.

I pressed the red button on the display of my iPhone and walked into the bathroom. My reflection showed me someone that wasn't me and at the same time it have been the me I have had been for two whole years. I was a wreck. With or without him, I wasn't happy. My eyes were swollen and red, my cheek stopped burning and was slowly getting its' color back. The dark rings under my eyes showed me how good I was sleeping at night and my teeth, well my teeth were the only thing which didn't change. Luckily, at least that was something I had left of me. I suddenly felt how my stomach turned around itself and I ran to the toilet. It was that time again…

_Flashback_

_One month earlier:_

_I was starring at the sign in front of me. It was a huge dark brown sign and had golden letters. Behind the sign was a big building and behind that building was the ocean. It was the perfect place for a practice. The golden letters that this: The Oceanside Wellness Center. I took a deep breath before I entered the building. I pressed the 4th button as soon as I walked into the elevator. With me in the elevator was a man, a dark haired good looking man._

_"Are you a new patient?" he asked me._

_"Something like that. Are you one of the doctors here?"_

_"Yes, I am Pete Wilder."_

_"Gabriella." I said and shook hands with him, "Addison has told me a lot about you, Pete."_

_"You know Addison?"_

_"College buddies." I explained and he nodded. "I'm actually here to see her."_

_"I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."_

_Then the door opened and we both walked out. "It was nice to meet you, Gabriella." Pete said and left in one of the offices._

_I walked to the information desk, "Hi, I'm Gabriella Bolton and I'm here to see Dr. Montgomery."_

_"Do you have an appointment?"_

_"No."_

_"Fill this out please." the dark blonde nurse said and handed me a paper with a pen._

_"Oh but I'm not one of her patients."_

_"Dr. Montgomery is having her break now. She will be back in soon. You may wait in the waiting room and I'll call you once she's here." the women said with a warm smile._

_"Great, thank you." I said and returned her smile before I walked into the waiting room._

_I heard the elevator doors opening again and a man with two women stepped out._

_"They have absolutely no right in doing this."_

_"I am telling you A-"_

_"Gabriella?" I heard Addisons voice and turned around._

_"Addison!" I said and walked to her. She hugged me with a smile on her face._

_"What are you doing here?" she asked me, "Oh guys, this is my good friend Gabriella. We met in College. Gabriella, this is Cooper Freedman" she said and pointed to a man with dark hair, "And this is Charlotte King, his girlfriend." she said and smirked at the blonde woman._

_"Oh I hate when she does that! Why do you think I didn't want anyone to know about us, Cooper?" she said to her boyfriend._

_"Anyhow, it was nice to meet you Gabriella but we better get going."_

_"Yep, got some patients to take care of." Charlotte said, "Hope I'd see her again." she whispered to Cooper._

_"She can still hear you." he sang in a whisper tone._

_I smiled, "They're so cute together."_

_"I know right?" she said and hugged me again, "Look at you. It's been ages since the last time we met. Come on, we can talk in my office."_

_We walked to her office with a glass door, "Look at you, got your own glass door, Dr. Montgomery." I said as I sat down on the coach._

_"Well Los Angeles is a little bit different than from Seattle."_

_"Talking about Seattle, I heard Derek married Meredith."_

_"Yep, with notepad papers. But that's okay. I am okay. I'm happy for them."_

_"That's nice to hear."_

_"So, why are you here?"_

_"No reason. I just wanted to see you."_

_"You've never been a good liar. Come on, tell me."_

_"I think I can't have a baby." I said and she looked at me._

_"What makes you think that?"_

_"In three years, I had been pregnant four times. And I have had a miscarriage each time. I can't have a baby."_

_"Alright before you say something like that, let's see at first what we're dealing here with, okay?" she said and I nodded. "I'm going to take some blood from you and then we'll see where to go from there. I'll be right back." she said and left me alone in her office._

_A couple of minutes later she walked into the office again, took my blood and told me to wait in the waiting room before that she promised me that it would only take a couple of minutes until the results were in._

_I was surrounded by pregnant woman, woman with already a child and by woman with children expecting another child. It was like hell for me. But I chose to be here. I chose to sit in this hell._

_"Mrs. Bolton please." the nurse said and I stood up. I followed her back into Addison's office._

_I walked into the office and the nurse closed the door behind me._

_"You should sit down, Gabs." Addison said._

_"That bad, huh?" I asked her as I sat down._

_Addison took my hands, "Gabriella, you can't get pregnant-"_

_"I knew it." I said and looked down. "I shouldn't have-"_

_"Because you already are pregnant." she said with a smile on her face._

_"What? I… I'm pregnant?"_

_"Yes, in you're in the 5th week."_

_And that's when I started to cry. Just like that I felt the tears started to role down my face. I looked up to the sky, "Are you happy now?" I yelled with the tears rolling down my face._

_"Gabriella, what's wrong?"_

_"This is karma, I tell you. I just found out that my husband cheated on me with a woman called Amanda.. I mean, this is karma, isn't it? This is freakin' karma." I said and started to smile, "I am pregnant by my cheating husband. By the husband I left. And now I am expecting his child!"_

_End of Flashback_

I washed my face and looked at my reflection. Two months later and I was still pregnant. In my 12th week and I was going to give birth to this baby. I felt it.

The doorbell rang and I opened the door. Ashley rushed in and hugged me.

"Tell me what happened." she said as I started to make us some tea.

"Well, he came after I sent him the divorce papers."

"You did what?"

"Well you think I want to continue this marriage? After he cheated on me and I don't know if that was the first time, to be honest. I don't recognize this person anymore. He's not the man I married."

"But… But you guys were perfect for each other."

"Exactly, we **were**_**. **_But something changed. Our whole relationship changed. We… The fire is gone. Completely gone. There's no connection anymore. When I think of him I… I feel pain, but this pain slowly started to release and I… I feel nothing now. I feel relieved after what happened earlier, to be honest." I said and we both were silent. In a way it was the truth and in a way it was not. I felt relieved because… I think that was what we needed.

"And that's why you sent him the divorce papers."

"Yeah…" I answered, still in my own world, "Earlier he walked into the living room and we started arguing right away."

"Oh I'm sorry, Gabs."

"It was the argument we didn't have before. Those whole two years in London we didn't argue. We just lived with each other. I was constantly cranky and he was constantly working long hours or sleeping with some hoe in some hotel behind my back."

"So did he just leave?"

"Yeah, after he slapped me."

"He did WHAT?"

"He slapped me. Right into my face. I threw him out."

"Good thing you did this. Right thing you did." she said and hugged me.

"I don't know why, but I thought this whole divorce thing was going to be so much easier." I thought I just could cut him out of my life- too bad there was someone who would make sure I wouldn't forget him.

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**Don't forget to review. **

**Nic  
**


	6. I'm giving you your life back

**A short chapter, I know. Tell me if you love it or hate it.**

**Nic**  
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6. I'm giving you your life back**

Three weeks later:

I was going to be fine. I realized that when I finished my first song after I left him. I realized that working in Los Angeles was good and that my life was going to be fine. I had found something you might want to call hope. And I liked that feeling. I even started to feel something like happy again. I laughed at Starbucks with Ashley, laughed at Planet Blue and just hung out with a couple of my new friends I made. Yep, I even made friends. I was slowly getting my social life back together again. And it felt freaking good.

There was Lauren, who lived in the same building as me. We were practically neighbors - she lived above me but oh well… She was raised in Laguna Beach and moved to L.A. a couple of weeks before I did. She works at Teen Vogue and People's Revolution, plus she's working on her own line at the moment. It's going to be great, she's very talented.

Then there was Christina. She worked at a hospital and lived next to me. It's good to have a surgeon right next to you, I mean in case something happens. She's 29, going on 30 in a couple of weeks, tall and has black hair. She has always and open ear for me. She's there for me, once Ashley's not. She and Lauren have turned out to be one of my best friends.

The ringing door bell kept me from eating the sandwich in front of me. I sighed and took a bite of sandwich before I ran to the front door.

"Coming!" I yelled with my mouth filled with the sandwich.

I opened the door without looking who it was. But I wanted to close it the second I saw who it was. I guess it was time for a second marital quarrel.

"Come in, who can stop you…" I mumbled and he just walked in.

"Look, we have a problem."

"Oh you got that fast." I said and closed the door.

"It's not our marriage I am talking about."

"Newsflash, you don't care about _this_ marriage."

"Oh spare me that shit!" he yelled and threw some tabloids on the table. One of them was The Sun, another one was The Daily Mirror. "Your secret's out." he said. What secret? _What_ secret was he talking about?

I was confused. Did they knew I was pregnant? Hell who told them? "What are you-"

He opened The Sun and read an article, "Gabriella Bolton, the wife of the famous manager Troy Bolton, was a prostitute! She worked for exactly-"

"Stop it." I said in a cool voice. I didn't know if I should be happy about this or not. At least Ashley kept her mouth shut. She was never good at keeping secrets. "Let me think for a couple of seconds." I said and sat down because suddenly everything started spinning and my husband started to get three heads.

"You don't get to-"

"I said give me some fucking five minutes!" I yelled at him.

He was silent, while I took deep breaths, trying to deal with the headache I started to get. He was behind this, of course. And if not he definitely would cope with it. Man, this headache was going to be strong.

"What does Jack want us to do?" I said and stroke through my hair.

"You think he's going to get us out of this shit?"

"Well isn't he the one who knows it all?"

"He started with it. He… He wants you to come back to United Kingdom. He'll stop then. He said he knows more. More than I do."

I laughed, I felt the baby. It was like a butterfly in my stomach. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. Like an earthquake, a little earthquake.

"Do you think this is funny?"

"No, I just felt - it doesn't matter."

"I have a reputation to lose, Gabriella! Do you know what the world thinks of us now? This is-"

"That's all you care about! Your reputation! Do you even care how I feel?"

"Look at where you're living! This place isn't even coming anywhere near the apartment in London!"

"And you think I want that, of course." I said as calm as I could.

"I do. Because that would explain why you filed a petition for divorce in California. Because you now get half of my money." Okay, this was it. _Enough is enough._

"I don't want your fucking money! And if you would have read the papers, you would know that now! I just want to be divorced! All you care is about what the world thinks of you, Troy!" I took a deep breath, knowing that I was going to cry any second, "So that's the deal we're going to have: You will sign those papers and I will take nothing from you. I will never come back. I will leave you and your glamorous life in London alone. Because that's what you really want. You want your life back. You want life you had without me and I am giving you this back. No catch." I said and felt how the pain from the headache slowly released.

"No catch?" he asked me.

"No catch, I promise." I said and handed him the pen.

"What about the media?"

"They will get over it."

"Alright, fine." he agreed and signed the divorce papers. That was it. It was done. Finally.

"Thank you." I said with now tears in my eyes. Damn those hormones.

"Thank you for giving my life back." he said and I nodded.

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	7. This is goodbye

**There's sunshine after the rain, right? Well, I am just waiting for this storm to be over- let's hope that will be soon.  


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****7. This is goodbye**

"So uhm… what about your stuff? How… I never did this… I mean..."

"Just threw them in boxes and send them over to L.A. and I'll make sure they'll find some use. Don't worry about it."

"What about Ocean?" he asked me. I totally forgot about her.

"Keep her. Keep her and with her the good memories we had, alright?" After that I started to cry even harder. Oh god damnit. I hate those hormones.

He looked me into my eyes. "I never meant us ending like this."

I shrugged, "Neither did I."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"Yeah...right."

"So are you going to move back to Manhattan?"

"I'm planning to stay here for while." I answered and he nodded.

"So I guess this is goodbye then."

"I guess…"

He got up and walked to the front door, "Goodbye Gabriella."

"Goodbye Troy." I said with eyes filled with tears.

I watched him leave and I felt like I had to say something. Something like 'I love you' or 'I can't live without you' but instead I said nothing. I did nothing but watch him leave my apartment. He closed the door behind himself and I burst out of tears. I cried everything out. I couldn't believe that after a relationship of over 8 years it can be over in just a second. I mean it was like yesterday I was at his office…

_Flashback_

_20 months earlier:_

_I walked into the huge office building. I had no idea where his office was. Absolutely no idea._

_I walked to the reception, where a red haired woman was typing something into her iMac._

„_Excuse me?" I asked her._

„_How may I help you?" she asked me. I saw that her name was Lisa Bennet._

„_I'm looking for Mr. Bolton's office."_

„_Ah, I see. Do you have an appointment?"_

_I shook my head, „No, but I'm sure that I don't need one." I said and smiled._

„_Well, you usually need an appointment because Mr. Bolton is a very busy man." She said and wrote something on a piece of paper, „But I'll give you this." She said and handed me a bright yellow piece of paper. „His office is on the 5th floor. You first need to talk to his secretary. Her name's Annabel Jackson. She has dark brown eyes and black hair, you will notice her right away." She said smiling._

„_Thank you very much." I said and returned her smile._

„_Good luck." She said and I walked into the elevator. The 5th floor, of course it was. My glances moved down to the yellow piece of paper. It had nothing on it. Except for a AF, GLWH. Whatever this means._

_I smiled and walked out of the elevator. I looked for Annabel right away. And my eyes found her pretty quickly. She was pretty... She had dark brown eyes, long black curly hair, which she pined up and she wore a black pencil skirt along with a white blouse. She was on the phone, talking to some one..._

_I smiled and walked towards her. I waited until she finished with talking and hung up._

„_Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Bolton." I said with a smile on my face._

„_Uhu, do you have an appointment with him?"_

„_No, but I've been told to hand you this." I said and handed her the yellow piece of paper._

„_Aha... Well, I'm not sure if he has time for you."_

„_Is he in a meeting?" I asked her._

„_No, not in the moment. But he said no interruptions for a short period of time."_

„_Well, I'm sure he won't mind if I would just walk in..." I said._

„_I'm sorry, but I can't allow that."_

„_What? Do you know who I am?" I asked her, like I was some kind of superstar. Geez, I was getting a big head here in London._

„_I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to pass on that question."_

„_Look, Annabel you seem like a woman who reads gossip magazines, am I right?" I asked her._

_She nodded, „Who doesn't?"_

„_Then you must have read the article saying that Mr. Bolton's engaged." I said in a calm voice, „And I am his fiancé."_

„_Ohhh, you should have told me that earlier! Of course you are. You can go right there!" she said in an angry voice and pointed to a room filled with waiting women._

„_But that's not his office." I said noticing._

„_You can wait with his __**other**__ finacés." She said and turned around to take a call._

_My mouth dropped. Seriously? Did she just...? I was shocked. More than shocked._

„_Listen, I'm just gonna walk in..." I said and walked into the direction of Troys office._

„_Ma'am, if you won't stop I'm afraid to get security." She said in a warning voice._

„_Alright, alright. I won't cause a scene..." I said and walked into the room which was filled with waiting women. I sighed and got out my cell. I dialed Troys number and waited...and waited...and waited. He didn't pick up. Of course he didn't. He never picks up when I call._

_I sighed and decided to call Leah, she would get through that bitch named Annabel._

„_Hello Gabs." she said in a sad voice as she picked up._

„_Hi Leah, what's wrong?" I asked her worried, „Has anything happened?"_

„_You haven't heard yet?" she asked me surprised._

„_No... what has happened? You got me worried now."_

„_You should talk to Troy."_

„_I would, if I could walk into his office."_

„_Huh? Why can't you?" she asked me confused._

„_Because his new secretary thinks I'm just a fiancé. Not his. She's weird... She won't let me in."_

„_Well did you try call him?"_

„_I did even though I knew he won't pick up. He never does when he's working."_

„_Shall I call him?"_

„_It would be nice of you... I mean, I'm waiting here with about 20 other women who think they're his fiancé." I said looking around. All those freaking weirdos started to creep me out._

„_No way! Seriously?"_

„_Yeah... It's weird. I mean he's engaged, he's taken. But they still try to get him... He's not a bacheflor anymore."_

„_I know... Listen, I'm gonna call him right away. He'll pick up for sure. You're gonna be with him in less than 5 minutes."_

„_Thanks Leah."_

„_That's why you have a family..." she said and we both hung up._

_Every single women stared at me. My cheeks blushed and I looked down. It was weird... _

_There were women in their _forties_! There were Teenagers and well there were women who totally weren't his type!_

_I sighed and kept on staring at Troys office door, hoping it would open up any minute._

_Suddenly a bad feeling over came me. I got up and walked over to Annabel._

„_What?" she asked me in a rude British kinda way._

„_What exactly has he said to you?" I asked her._

„_He said no interruptions for a short period of time."_

„_How did he look like?"_

„_Excuse me?" she asked me confused._

„_I mean, was his hair messed up? Was he walking straight? Did he kept his head high? Did he smile? How did his eyes look like? Were they black? Grey? Blue? Had they cracks?"_

„_What the hell are you talking about?" she asked me confused, „You're one crazy groupie." She said and shook her head._

_"Listen, I am not a groupie! I am his fiancé! His only fiancé!"_

_I sighed and heared the door opening. Troy walked out and he looked like crap. His eyes were dark blue and his sandy brown hair was a mess. He even untied his tie. He didn't wear a black jacket, just a white chemise. Something was horribly wrong. It scared the hell out of me._

_I walked up to him, „Miss-„ Annabel said, but I didn't listen. I shouldn't have listened earlier._

„_Gabriella, what are you doing here?" he asked me confused._

_I walked to him and hugged him, „Do you have a couple of minutes?" I asked him carefully. I wasn't sure how his mood was. He looked like crap, but was he feeling even worse?_

„_You know that you don't have to ask. You could've walked in right away. Why did you keep on waiting?"_

_Because of Annabel, duh! „Uhm...I was at the loo. Doesn't matter." I said and I saw that Troy was noticing the women._

„_What are all those women doing here?" he asked confused._

„_They are all describing themselves as your fiancé." Annabel said in a calm and neutral voice._

„_What? Send them home! All of them. They're... Wow, that's weird." He said and looked at me, „What about you? What did you say?"_

„_That I'm your _irresistible_ fiancé of course." I said and lanced my fingers with his._

_He laughed and glanced at Annabell for several seconds before he looked at me again, „Let's get us some privacy..." he said and I walked into his office, „Send them home!" Troy yelled at Annabel before slamming the door shut._

„_You shouldn't have yelled at her." I said in a calm voice._

„_I felt like yelling..."_

„_Still, you shouldn't have."_

„_Gabriella, if you just came to-„ I noticed the bottle of Scotch on his table._

„_Why the hell are you drinking again?" I asked in a rough voice, „What could be possibly the reason for it?" I asked him as I closed the bottle._

„_That's none of your business." He said and in a calm cold voice and I turned around._

„_I'm sorry?"_

„_You want me to repeat it? It's none of your business!" he yelled at me._

„_Fine, it's one way if you yell at your personal assistant, but you can not raise your voice against me!"_

„_It's secretary, Gabriella."_

„_I don't care if it's secretary or personal assistant! To me it is all the same. And now explain to me why Leah was so upset on the phone and why you are drinking, ahora!" I said in an angry voice._

„_You never spoke in Spanish to me..." he said as he sat down on his office chair._

„_Well there's a first time for everything." I said and glared at him, „So? Your explanation, señor?"_

_He didn't say anything. He was silent._

„_Troy...talk to me." I said and looked at him, „What happened?"_

_Again, he didn't say a word._

„_Troy, we had this before. If you're not talking to me I can't help you..."_

_He looked down, „It's Grandpa... He passed away."_

„_Oh my gosh." I said and sat down on the table, „Really? I...That's horrible. When did he...?"_

„_Today... 2 hours ago. Leah told me and she's feeling just as horrible as I am."_

„_But he...he was still young!"_

„_He was 78, Gabriella." He said in a cold voice._

„_But he was not sick, Troy." I repeated in a just as cold voice as Troy._

„_True, he wasn't... But he had a heart attack anyway."_

„_Gosh, that's so horrible..." I said and hold his hand, „How's Grandma?" I asked him._

„_She's with my Mom and Dad... She can't take being in that house. She's gonna have to come back some day..."_

„_When did you start drinking?"_

„_1 hour ago..."_

„_Troy, you really need to stop... We've been through this before. We can do this another time without alcohol."_

_He looked up, „I'm not in the mood for talking right now."_

_I sighed, „Fine. But at least go home and start with your binge drinking there. I don't want your employees to see you like that." I said and stroke through his hair, „Everything will be okay..." I said and kissed him. I tasted the alcohol. He has been drinking for more than just an hour..._

„_Yeah, I'm sure it will... I just don't know when." He said and got up. He switched off his iMac and switched off the table lamp. „Do you need to work today?" he asked me._

_I nodded, „Yeah, I have an appointment in about 4 hours... So, I can go home with you."_

_He nodded and lanced his finger with mine, „Let's go home then."_

_I opened the door and we both walked out. I saw Annabel on the phone again, but she put it on hold as soon as she saw Mr. Bolton._

„_Annabel, I'm gonna take a couple of days off. It's gonna be a maximum of one week... All calls will go through Miss Bennet. And the meetings will all be with Thomas. Only in emergencies you may call me." He said and she nodded._

„_Good, no problem Mr. Bolton. Have a nice day." She said and smiled. She faked one at me and I decided to return it._

_We walked into the elevator, „Your personal assistant is a bitch." I said as the elevator doors closed._

„_I know. That's why I hired her. It has its advantages to have a bitchy secretary. But what has she done to you?"_

_I shrugged, „Oh nothing really... She just didn't believe me when I said that I am your fiancé."_

_He glared at me, „Seriously?"_

„_No, I am totally lying to you about that. Of course, I'm serious!" I said in a rough tone, „Sorry, I'm touchy right now... I bet she's now mad at me for bringing you home..."_

„_I don't care what she thinks of me and neither should you." He said and we walked out of the elevator._

_End of Flashback_

I sighed and wiped away the tears from my face. A separation is hard. But I didn't know that it would be this hard. I still love him, I knew that. And I also knew that I would always love him, but I couldn't be with him if he kept on hurting me like that. My eyes moved to The Sun. We were on the cover of it and our picture was ripped apart… We had good times before that…

_Flashback_

_23 months ealier:_

„_Okay Kelly, I'll see tomorrow in the studio then." I said and hung up. I crossed the street and saw the light on in the huge black building. Confused I looked at my Blackberry Bold. It really was 3 a.m.. In confusion I looked at the light in the building again. He was still working. My fiancé was still working. Unbelievable. I shook my head as I entered the building. A woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes passed me and glared at me, but said no word._

_I pushed a gold button and waited for the elevator to come. I looked around, there was marble all over. Seconds later, the elevator came and I stepped in. What button should I push? I had no idea what button I should push... I decided to push the 5th, hoping that on the 5th floor was his office. Just like in New York._

_I waited for the elevator doors to open again and played with my hair._

_Eventually the elevator doors opened and I walked out. I looked around in the darkness, hoping to see the light somewhere..._

_My eyes stopped when I saw the bright light coming from a room which was at the end of the hall. I took a deep breath and slowly started to walk down the long hall. My black Louboutins made that typical click-clack sound on the parquet as I reached the door. I opened the door and saw that the office was empty. But yet it was a nice office. White iMac, white chair...white table... Everything was white and green. But there was a dark red wall. There were plants on the table, the floor... It was so different than the office in New York. I walked to the chair and sat on it. I swung around in it and saw a frame. I picked it up and looked at the picture of us. It was a black-and-white picture and it was taken by Russel. It's one of the many Victoria's Secret pictures, but yet it was special because it was the one picture with no passion...it was joy which was shown. We were smiling and showing all our teeth. I opened my purse and got out my wallet. I opened my wallet and looked at the very same picture of us. I smiled and brushed through my hair._

„_Well look who made her way into my office..." I heard Troy's voice and I turned around._

„_Well look who's still working... I thought you were at home." I said and got up to kiss him._

„_I could say the same." He said and hugged me._

„_How much longer do you need to work?" I asked him and brushed through his hair._

„_I was just finishing... We can go home." He said and picked me up._

„_Are you sure? I didn't mean to distract you from working..." I said as he carried me out._

_He didn't say anything. He just kissed me. „You could never distract me from work."_

_I giggled, „Are you the last one in the building?"_

_He nodded, „Yeah my secretary left a couple of minutes ago..."_

„_Mhm... I think I saw her...Maybe. I don't know." I said and he put me down._

_He pushed the button and we waited for the elevator to arrive._

„_You know, „ he started as we both stepped into the elevator._

„_I know..."_

„_I'm having an interview with PEOPLE Magazine tomorrow."_

„_Yeah...and?" I asked him and pushed the lobby button._

„_And I want to give them something to write about."_

„_Meaning?"_

„_I wanna make our engagement official." He said and looked at me, „What do you think?"_

„_Uhm...well why not I guess. I mean, they're gonna ask you about our relationship anyway so why not tell."_

„_I thought the same. Or do you wanna keep it a secret until we're married?"_

_I shrugged, „I don't know... I mean, that announcement is gonna make a lot of press, which will be good for the release of my album..."_

„_That was another aspect for choosing this moment to tell everyone."_

_I nodded, „Let them know that we're the happiest couple on earth right now."_

„_Okay..." he said and kissed me._

_The elevator doors opened and we walked out. We laced our fingers as we left the building._

_End of Flashback_

Those good times were over now. That life was over now. My eyes moved from The Sun magazine over to the divorce papers. His signature was clear and recognizable. But the field in which I should sign was still empty. I couldn't bring myself to sign it, even though I sent them. Because as stupid as it sounds, I still hoped I could somehow life with it, with him… I guess that dream burst like a bubble.

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks as I walked to the table and sat down. He always had a nice handwriting. I stared at his signature for minutes and saw how my tears fell on the papers. I wiped them away and took a deep breath before I signed. I signed them. The papers which would change my life, which meant freedom and prison at the same time. I was free from the media and the good reputation I had to have all those years, but at the same time I would have to life with this pain in my chest among with the child in my stomach. And that child would have to grow up without its father. At least, I would never tell him. It's the best for all of us. Isn't it?

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	8. You forgot about me

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8. You forgot about me**

_'I am going to learn how to live without him. Just like I learned how to live with him.'_ I kept on telling myself this sentence after I signed the papers. I would learn how to live without him, I _had_ to learn how to live without him.

I lay alone in my bed. I couldn't sleep that night. I stopped crying a couple of hours ago, but I still couldn't sleep. I kept on having flashbacks, I kept on remembering our relationship. I guess facing the end of something is never easy.

I sighed and started to feel hungry. In the middle of the night I started to feel the need to eat ice cream. Chocolate ice cream to be exact, with wiped cream and strawberry sauce. Lucky me, I had all those things in my fridge. But I was too lazy to get up and start making it. But I wanted it _so badly_.

I sighed before got up, knowing that I wouldn't sleep any way. I slowly walked down the steps in the dark, before I switched on the light in the kitchen. I got out the chocolate ice cream, the wiped cream and the strawberry sauce. But I had to wait 5 minutes until the chocolate ice cream had melted down a little bit. I walked into my living room and started out of the surface low window. I saw the security guys sitting there and waiting for something to happen. I saw the bright blue pool and I saw the shiny stars in the sky. It was a beautiful night. A beautiful night to sleep- if I could just sleep! I sighed and was about to turn around when I saw a man walking in the dark. He was too far away for me to recognize him, but it was weird that the security guys didn't do anything. I guess he lives here… Yeah, that must be it.

I turned around and started to make my chocolate ice cream with wiped cream and strawberry sauce. After a couple of movements my chocolate ice cream creation was done, but I suddenly wanted something else. I wanted gherkins with peanut butter. I sighed, this pregnancy was really not easy. I got out the gherkins and the peanut butter. I was about to take a bite from my gherkin with peanut butter when it knocked on my door.

I looked at the watch of the microwave before I walked to the door: it was three o'clock in the morning.

I walked to it, I bet it would be Christina with some Owen problems.

"Christina, go home and tell me all about your Owen problems tomorrow morning, okay?" I said to the door.

"Fine!" she said and I heard her walking away.

Finally, I thought and walked into the kitchen again. This gherkin/peanut butter thing wasn't that bad actually. I started to like it. With a spoon I slowly started to eat the ice cream along with the peanut butter/gherkin creation. It tasted good. But my late night meal got interrupted by another knock on the door.

I ripped the door open but I had to have one last bite of that peanut butter/gherkin/ice cream thing, "I said tomorrow in the morning, Christina!" I said and turned around to look at the person. "You are not Christina."

Instead of responding in any way, he just walked into my apartment. Like this was his home. Like he never even lived anywhere else. But this is _my_ apartment! This is _my_ home!

He walked to the table, took the papers he signed just hours ago and… tore them apart.

"What are you doing?" I asked him shocked, angry and confused at the same time as I closed the door.

"I can't do this." he mumbled before he placed his hands on my cheek, looking into my eyes and said, "I still love you. And I know that you still love me, too." Then he kissed me. He didn't even give me time to think, time to response. Just like that he kissed me. And for what is worst, I enjoyed it with every cell in my body. I enjoyed it because I was wishing for it for so long- so I kissed him back. I did what every wife, or ex-wife or not anymore ex-wife or whatever would do. I kissed him back. Suddenly my mood changed from confused into lustful. I blamed the hormones, even though I knew it was my heart's fault.

"Gabriella-" he said but I stopped him with a kiss.

"No talking…" I whispered before I kissed him again.

How much I missed this. I missed him so badly. I missed his lips, his tongue… his face. Everything. I missed everything about him. Absolutely everything.

But then my head started to think again. So I let go. "Stop it. We've broken up. I-I can't do this." My mood just changed from lustful into angry.

"Gabriella-"

"No, you don't get to just turn up after you cheated on me and tear those divorce papers apart. They were everything I had left of us, Troy. That was-"

"Don't. Don't do this…" he begged me.

"It was you! You ruined everything for us. And if I give in now, you will want me to be with you-"

"Of course I want you to be with me! Because I am in love with you!"

"No you're not."

"How can you say this?"

"Look at yourself for a second, will you? You don't love me, Troy. You may have loved me, but you don't love me anymore. You stopped loving me the second you started to flirt with that Amanda, you stopped caring about me after the first kiss you had with her and you started to forget about me when you slept with her."

"Stop saying this…"

"Why? Because it's not true? Or because it is exactly the truth and you just can't seem to face it."

"You want to know the truth?"

"Yes, that would be nice for once."

"I saw you in her. I saw that fire you had in her. She talked like you, she made me feel like you did once. I never stopped thinking about you when I was with her. It didn't feel like cheating because I felt like a part of you was with me… with her. The point is, I am sorry for cheating with her on you. But I never forgot you. Never."

"That doesn't change a thing." I said and walked back into the kitchen. I need to eat something now.

"Then what is? Because I'm gonna keep on trying until I do the one thing that makes you love me again!"

I didn't response. Instead I ate a gherkin, with jelly and chocolate ice cream - so good.

"Gabriella, aren't you gonna say anything?" he asked me after a long silence.

"This gherkin is really good."

"Anything other than your weird eating habits?"

I let out a big sigh, "Look you hurt me very very badly, Troy. You have no idea what hell I have been through! I miss you every fucking day! I miss your smell every hour! I heard your voice in my head! I missed your body pressed against mine while we were sleeping! I missed your arms embracing me! I miss everything about you but a simple apology with a few warm words won't make it better. And even if they did… I told you I would never come back. I told you that exactly-"

"Four months, two weeks and one day ago. I know when you told me you'd leave me." I was surprised. He remembered. He actually remembered. Wow...

"And I meant it. I am never going to go back to London. You need to be in London because you need to work there. You have your home in London. So if there's no wonder coming up, I don't see how you and me are going to work out. That's why I want to end it."

He looked at me for a couple of seconds, scanning my eyes, looking for something to believe in, "When did you stop listening to your heart?" he asked me in a broken voice.

"Four months, two weeks and one day ago. Because you had mine and broke it. You ripped it into thousands of pieces." I said and felt tears coming up again. I had been _so strong_, my hormones had been so strong… and now I was crying again.

He sighed and came closer to me, "What do you want me to do to make it up to you?" he said and removed the rolling tears with his thumbs. How much I missed his touch. I felt like a junkie who was detoxing and now I was getting my drug again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, knowing that what I was going to do next was probably one of the hardest things I had ever done, "I want you to go. I need space."

He was silent and looked me into my eyes.

"You had exactly four months, two week and one day of space." He said looking into my eyes, "Now it's time to fix us."

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	9. We ruined each other

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****9. We ruined each other**

"There's nothing to fix." I said as cool as I could. "I want you to leave. Now!"

"Stop with this bullshit and tell me the truth, god damn!" he said frustrated.

"You think marriage is so easy! You think marriage is just like a normal relationship expect you wear now a ring on your left ring finger! Well guess what? It's not!" I yelled at him. "For you the party life you had before me and partly with me just continued. While I was the freakin' housewife in that freakin' pricey apartment!" I continued yelling. "You think everything is easy when you're a Bolton! The Women, the life, the money - everything!" I stopped yelling because my headache was coming up again. "Marriage is hard work! And you… You gave up on us!"

"I gave up on us? _**I **_gave up on us?"

"Yes! Yes, you gave up on the us the second you started laying eyes on other women!"

"You changed! That's the reason why I laid eyes on other women."

"Don't you **dare** put this **on me**_!_ You said I was great! You said we were destined to be together! You said you loved me! You said it to the world! You said it to our friends! You said it to me and I wish you never had because you did not mean any of it!" I yelled at him. My stomach started to turn around once more and along with the strong headache I felt very, _very_ bad.

"That is not true!"

"Yes it is! Because if-"

"People change and so does the feelings we have."

"Oh so now it's my fault that you hooked up with one girl after another?"

"In a way, yes it is."

"In a way? Seriously? _You_ blame _me_ for you cheating on me?" I yelled at him, "You have no idea what I have been through! Absolutely no idea!"

"You changed from this wonderful, open for everything and beautiful woman into…"

"Into what, Troy? You can say it. Say it out loud. Tell me the ugly truth. Into a horrible, closed up from the whole world, ugly woman? Well guess what? You changed also. You changed from the most lovely man I knew into this heartless person! You ruined me! I changed because of you! I changed because you wanted it! I did it for you!" Everything started to spin around again. I placed on hand on my head and took deep breaths. My stomach turned around once more and I ran into the bathroom to puke out whatever was left in my stomach.

After minutes of puking, I washed my face and took deep breaths while my headache started to release its pain. Then I opened the door and walked back into the living room again.

"You didn't do this for me." he said emotionless. I didn't know if he was talking to me or himself instead.

But in the end, I decided he did talk to me. "Of course I did. I did _everything for you_! I even moved to freakin' London to make you happy! I left everything behind in order to make you happy. And what did I got? Let me tell you what I got: I got **nothing**!" I yelled. So much to the 'light' headache- it just got stronger now.

"I gave you everything you wanted! You got to live in an apartment people would die for! You got as many jewelry as you wanted! You got everything for me!"

"I did not! I got everything I did not want. I didn't want the apartment or the jewelry or what else you gave me! I wanted the one thing you didn't give me! I wanted _you_!" I yelled while I saw everything starting to spin around again.

"I was there don't-" I grabbed Troy's arm as hard as I could in order to not fall.

He felt my weak hand on his arm. "Woah, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… Just give me a second." I said and took a deep breath.

I opened my eyes and saw one head on my husbands next, "Great you have one head again." I mumbled, almost to myself.

"Have you had this often?" he asked me worried as we both sat down on the couch.

"Troy, I am absolutely fine." I ensured him.

"Are you sure?" It was like the fight we had was forgotten.

"Yes." I said, "And no you did not give me everything. I wanted a husband, someone who loves me. Instead I got a man who was constantly working, who constantly pressured me in going to some galas at which we didn't even danced at. You had no time to even dance with your very own wife at least once! All you had on your mind was business! We barely went out in the past. We barely even had time for each other. We ruined each other."

We were sitting in silence, because I hit the bullseye there. We both know that it was true. We both know that we ruined each other. And we both know that we couldn't fix each other again. There was no way we could be who we were. There was nothing which could turn back time.

We looked out of the window after we heard a thunder. "Great, another storm." I said and sighed.

"I'll get you a glass of water." he said and got up.

"No, I can do this myself." I said and got up but fell back when everything started to turn around again.

"I'll get the water and you just relax." he demanded and I watched him leave.

We were broken. We were one broken family.

How ironic, just when we start to fall apart we start becoming a real family. I smiled as I felt a kick from our unborn child. I watched how Troy started to look for a glass. I had to admit it was kind of nice to have someone here. I closed my eyes and heard the rain drops in the background.I nearly fell asleep,but I opened my eyes just in time to see Troy walking closer. He handed me the glass and I drank it.

"Maybe we should drive to the hospital…" he thought out loud.

"Don't be silly. I am perfectly fine. I just didn't eat enough, that's all." I lied. I knew something was wrong. This wasn't normal. Those headaches and those vertigos weren't normal at all. Something was really really wrong, but there was no way I would drive to the hospital just so Troy would find out about my pregnancy. No way.

"You have a nice apartment here." he interrupted my worries. Why was he trying to be all lovely now?

"Get out. Leave me alone." I said and looked out of the window.

"No. I won't leave you."

"Fine, then maybe I should." I said and got up.

"Gabriella-"

"No! You don't get to do this. You don't get to turn up and expect everything will be fine. Because IT WON'T!" I said as I walked to the door.

"I don't expect this."

"Yes you do! I know you. I know you do! But I won't forgive you! Not now and not in the next couple of weeks. I am not going to just come back to you because of some freakin' apology!"

"Gabriella, stop it!" he said and grabbed my arm.

"Oh you think this will stop me?" I yelled and felt the tears rolling down my face. Why does my child has to have such horrible timing with the crying-thing?

He looked me into my eyes and I saw nothing but sorrow in them. Under this mixture of gray and light blue was pure sorrow.

"I'm not going to forgive you just because you are sorry, Troy." I said into his face and felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.

He removed the rolling tears with his thumbs. I missed his touch. I missed his hands on my face. I missed the feeling of him beside me. "Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I promise to do anything if you forgive me." he said and I just stared into his eyes. "Anything."

I felt my broken heart beat in my chest. I felt how it was beating faster any second. I didn't know what to do. "I want you to leave me alone. Once and for all. We are perfectly fine in this apartment." I said without thinking. Shit, he doesn't know.

"We?" he asked me confused.

"I mean me."

"You."

"Yes, me. Just me."

"Just you."

"Yes."

He nodded, "So you really want me to go?"

"Yes. I'm gonna send some new divorce papers within a week."

I saw how his heart broke through his eyes, which were the mirror to his soul. "Within a week." he echoed me.

"Yes, within a week." I said nodding. "Just try to understand how I feel…" I tried to explain my decision. Why was I trying to defense my decision?

"I know… and I do understand." he said and nodded, "It's the right decision if you think you need this. I will sign if you want me to- again."

"That's what I want, but since when did you start caring about my feelings?" I asked him surprised.

He was silent. After minutes of silence he spoke up, "Since I saw that there's no life without you."

I was silent. Silent because of insecurity. Was he serious or was he lying into my face again?

"How do I know you're not lieing?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "You don't. You can't trust me anymore, so there's no way you do - if you don't trust me."

"I can't trust you. I just can't."

"Are you willing to learn how to trust me again?"

I was silent and continued looking out of the window. I watched the rain drops fall down along with thunder and lightning.

After a couple of minutes in silence I spoke up, "So you're really going to stay, huh?"

"Yep, I told I'm not gonna move an inch."

I sighed and got up, "You might want to move a couple of inches. Follow me. I'll show you where you can sleep." I said and slowly started to walk up the stairs. He followed me and I stopped in front of the three doors.

"Left door's my bedroom, next to it is your bedroom and the the door on the right is the bathroom. Got it?" I asked him.

"Thanks. You know that I could easily go back to the hotel."

"I know. But I also know that no one should drive with that storm out there. I wished you bad things Troy, but I never wished you death." I said and walked into my bedroom. I closed the door behind myself and got out of my pajama before I got into the bed.

"Goodnight Gabriella." I heard Troy's voice before he walked into the guestroom.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep by the sound of the rain. Or maybe it was the feeling that my husband finally found me. Either way, I slept like a stone - well, almost like a stone.

At around 6 in the morning I woke up caused by my full bleb. I sighed, since four months I was getting up at around 6 to walk to the toilet. I opened my eyes and slowly got up. I couldn't believe my eyes, because what I saw was Troy sleeping in the armchair next to my closed door. I rubbed my eyes, this couldn't be true, could it? But he was still there, still sleeping, still in the armchair. When did he get into my room? _Why _is he here? I carefully passed him and opened the door. I walked down the corridor and into the bathroom...

After I was done, I walked into the guestroom. I picked up a blanket from the bed, before I made my way back into my bedroom. I covered Troy with the blanket before I got back to sleep myself. I mean, after all it was a chilly night.

The next morning I woke up at 11 a.m. and as I opened my eyes, there was no Troy. I slipt into my chestnut UGGs Scuffette and covered my naked arms with a I left my bedroom and walked down stairs.

The scent of eggs and bacon made its' way into my nose. Ew, I hated eggs.

"Good morning! I made eggs for breakfast."

My stomach turned around and the gherkin from a couple of hours ago made its way out of my stomach. "No eggs!" I said as I ran into my bathroom to throw up for about 5 minutes.

After those 5 minutes I washed my face, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair and walked out. I decided to pretend to have to work. I rushed into the kitchen and filled a glass with orange juice. "I'm in a rush, I have to be at work in exactly 20 minutes." I said as I looked at the clock.

"You're just saying this so you won't have to have breakfast with me." he said and I looked at him.

"True, but I do have to be somewhere in 20 minutes." I said and picked up a piece of bacon before I walked up the stairs again, "The bacon's good!" I said as I chew it.

"At least you ate something." he answered.

He would never know that I planned to go to a café before I had to go to my appointment with Addison. And he wouldn't find out about that appointment either.

After 5 minutes of looking for some clothes which would fit me, I finally found some trousers and a sweater. I had to go shopping, I knew that. I would call Ashley, Lauren and Christina later to go shopping with them.

With one last look at my reflection in the mirror, I left the bedroom, rushed down the stairs and nearly fell as I skiped the last two steps. I should be more careful.

"You should be more careful." he said and I glaced at him. "What? Just saying."

"Yeah…" I said and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl before I opened the front door.

"Goodbye, Gabriella." he said with a smile on his face. But I didn't return it.

I turned around, "Just to be clear: I want you gone when I come back. Whatever this was yesterday, it won't last. I want you out of my life. Completely out of my life." I said as cold as I could.

He looked at me with confusion and hurt in his eyes, "Okay."

Without any other word, I left my apartment in the hands of my husband.

I knocked on the door next to mine. It opened after my third knock.

"I need breakfast." I said and the black haired woman held the door open for me.

"Why don't you have breakfast in your apartment?" Christina asked me as I opened her fridge.

"Because I have a husband with who I can't deal with in my apartment." I said and got out some fruits.

"No!" she said shocked.

"Yup."

"When?"

"Actually today in the early morning. At around 3. We fought just yesterday. I don't understand him."

"And now you're back with him again?" she asked me carefully.

"No, but I told him to stay after I saw the storm."

"Oh so you want to be back with him."

"No I don't."

"But your child needs its father." she said. That was a good point.

"I'm going be fine by myself."

"Stop fooling yourself. You know that I love you Gabs, but you won't be able to raise this child all by yourself."

"But I'm not going to go back to London."

"What if he moves to L.A.?"

"He won't be able to. He has a company in London. It's not that easy."

"I never said that it'll be easy. But do you want to be with him?"

"I don't know, Christina. Whenever he's around me, I feel like a junkie who gets its drug back after a year of detoxification."

"So you're going to come back with him."

"I… I don't know. Listen, I need bigger clothes…"

"Uhm I need to go to the hospital in a couple of minutes. But you can call Lauren, I'm sure she has some free time in her break." Christina hated shopping.

"It was worth a try… And thanks for the breakfast." I said and left her apartment.

"Call me when something happens!" she yelled after me.

A couple of hours I found myself at Addison's again. I saw all the other doctors again.

"So anything new in the life of Gabriella Bolton?" Addison asked me as she walked in.

"Troy is back in my life again."

"Your husband?"

"Yep."

"So anything else?"

"Oh yeah, something with you can help me for sure. I have enormous headaches lately. Every time I get angry, I start having some headaches and everything starts to turn around…"

"Alright, that might be your high blood pressure. I suggest we measure it and then we'll see. But first we're going to take a look at your baby, okay?"

I nodded, "That sounds good."

"Are you going to tell Troy about the pregnancy?" she asked me as she put gel on my stomach.

"As for now, no I won't." I answered and she nodded.

After a couple of seconds of searching she found the heartbeat she had been looking for. It was a fast heartbeat, a very fast heartbeat.

"Is it normal that it's that fast?" I asked her worried. It did not sound normal.

"It is a little faster than it should be, but that's probably because of the high blood pressure you have." she said and smiled. "Do you want to know the sex of your baby?"

"Can you see it?"

"Yep, you are far enough in your pregnancy. I can clearly see the sex."

"Tell me. I want to know."

"You're going to get a baby girl!" she said and I smiled.

"A girl? Really? I am having a baby girl! Oh my God, Addison I'll get a girl!"

She returned my smile, "But I am a little worried about you, Gabs. You seem to be a little thin for your 20th week."

"Do you think I don't eat enough?" I almost hissed at her, "I eat enough! I am just a very slim person, that's all. And the baby's fine, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is…"

"Good, then everything's fine."

"How much have you gained?" she asked me.

"I don't know… about 5 kg so far."

"Okay…" she said and nodded, "So let's measure your blood pressure."

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	10. Come to your senses

**A new chapter! Enjoy reading :).  


* * *

10. Come to your senses**

It turned out that my blood pressure wasn't too high, it was too low instead. And my bloodpressure was causing my vertigo plus that nice headache before the vertigo and after. But it isn't really dangerous, or so Addision told me. She said that it was probably there because of my baby, which means it will go away after I give birth- hopefully. She also said that it would almost be normal to have hypotonia during the pregnancy.

After my appointment I ate a piece of cake and on my way to Planet Blue I called Ashley and Lauren as I stopped at a red light. Lauren had to work and met up with Jason after wards, so I only had Ashley left. She told me that she would come after her meeting in Burbank and we would met up at Planet Blue.

In the end we didn't only shop at Planet Blue, we also nearly bought the whole Urban Outfitters and Kitson. After our shopping trip we went to Coffe Bean & Tea Leaf to have a nice cup of coffee - well for me it was just tea.

"My feet hurt." I said as we sat down.

"So what has happened?"

"Why does always has something to happen for us to go shopping?"

"The last time we went shopping together you told me you sent him the divorce papers, the time before that you told me you were pregnant and the time before that you had just left your husband. So any questions?" She said and gave me that Just-already-tell-me look.

"Alright fine. I'm having a girl!" I said and she nearly screamed.

"Oh my Gosh! A girl? Really? You're having a girl!" she said and hugged me, "Wow, you _have_ gain weight…"

"Are you saying I am fat?" I said and felt near to tears.

"What? No! You're not fat. You're not a size XS any more but definitely still a size S!" she said with an innocent smile on her face.

"I am a size M now. Oh my Gosh, you do think I am fat. Just because I am pregnant." I said , faked a tear and looked at her worried face, "Okay so what do you think of it? I mean, could I tell him that way?"

"Tell who?" she said and I was silent, "Wait, is there more than the news that you are having a girl? Is he back?"

"You were constantly on the phone with him, not me."

"Nah, just those two weeks you spent in my house. Scott wanted you to go."

"Really?" I asked her shocked.

"Nah, I'm just playing with you." she said and laughed.

"Oh you are so mean!"

"So is he back?" she asked me after we both took a sip of our hot drinks.

I nodded, "I think so."

"You think so?"

"I… We…"

"Oh so there's a we now?"

"No! There's a we as in me and her." I said and pointed at my stomach.

"Right. So where does he stay?"

"In a hotel… I think. I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

"Because he spent the night at my apartment."

"He did what? Why? How? What?"

"Okay, okay take a deep breath and think before you talk."

She took a deep breath and thought for a couple of seconds, "When did he come yesterday?"

"He came today."

"When exactly?"

"1 in the morning."

"No Way! Why?"

"Because he got the divorce papers one week earlier than he should and yeah he did sign them after a long fight, _but_ he ripped it apart after wards. It's difficult."

"Yeah it sounds kinda like it. So.. what are going to do now?"

"Drink my tea." I said with a smile on my face before I took another sip.

"I'm serious, Gabriella."

"Look, I don't know, okay? I am not holy Mary!" I nearly yelled at her, "I'm sorry. It's been tough days lately…" I apologized.

She hugged me, "I know honey. Everything's going to be fine soon."

"I'm not sure I can ever forgive him, Ash."

"I know…"

"Would you?"

She shrugged, "If I were having his baby, I would. I mean, I would do it for the baby if not for me."

I nodded, "So you think I should tell him?"

"It's your decision not mine. I can't tell you what to do."

"Urgh, this is frustrating." I sighed and was silent for a couple of seconds, "I don't want him in my life anymore. When I am with him lately all I feel is pain and anger…. and sometimes… Sometimes I feel nothing when I think of him. Absolutely nothing. No pain, no anger, no love, no happiness… just nothing." I answered honest.

Ashley looked into my eyes, "Nothing, huh? Well this certainly isn't a good sign for a Troyella come-back, if you ask me."

"You can't be serious! You _really_ want us to be back together again?"

She shrugged, "Maybe you should give it another try."

"I've invested way too much in this relationship if you ask me."

"You knew it would be complicated from the moment you met him. Business trips and late-night-workings aren't an excuse if you ask me."

"Well then how about cheating on me with another woman?"

"Maybe you guys needed it."

"_Ashley_, what has gotten into you? Oh wait, let me guess: You decided to be rather on _his side_ instead of your best friend's side here!" I said and got up. "I'm not giving this another shot and you know it."

"I just want you to think about it, okay?"

"No! There's nothing to consider. There's nothing to think about. Nothing."

"Gabriella…"

"No! Don't start with it now. Leave it." I said and grabbed my bags, "Call me whenever you have come to your senses again." I added before I walked out of the café.

There was no way I would forgive him! No way I would ever give him another chance, after I have given him so many. I need him to leave me alone, if not, then there's no way for me to have a normal life. I can't live with him, so I need to built a life without him. I need him to let go of me, just like I have with him. I need him to go back to London, so I can stay in Los Angeles. I need him to start working again, so I can do my work. I need him to go without any words, so I can tell him mine. I need him to say nothing, so I can say everything. But most of all… Most of all I need him.

I need him to need to be with me.

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	11. Loneliness catches up with me

**11. Loneliness catches up with me**

It was already late when I walked up the stairs to my apartment. My shoulders were full of bags, shopping bags to be exact. My Chanel purse was on my left arm as I started to look for the keys with my right hand in it. As I nearly reached them, the bags on my right shoulder all fell down. I let out a frustrated sigh as I picked up the bags and my keys.

"Is everything alright?" I heard a familiar voice and turned around.

"Well it's going to be." I said.

"You don't have any sugar at home, do you?" he asked me as we continued walking.

"Sorry George, but not this time. You took all my sugar last time. Do you want to bake again? We both know that this will only end in chaos."

He laughed, "I know… but there's nothing you wouldn't do to make your partner happy."

"Partner, huh? So you and Lizzie are getting serious?" I asked the green eyed man.

He nodded, "Yep, pretty much."

"Have you asked her to move in with you yet?"

"See that's why I need the sugar…"

"You will ask her tonight?"

"That's the plan." he answered as we reached his door. "Have a good night, Gabs."

"She won't say no, you know." I said with a smile on my face and continued walking in my Louboutins down the I opened the door with my keys.

It was dark before I switched on the lights of the corridor. As soon as I saw my apartment in light again I felt the loneliness catching up with me. He left. He was gone. No one was here. I was alone again. I was alone with my daughter again. Our daughter.

I let the bags fall on the floor and closed the door with a soft kick. I looked at my answering machine and saw it blinking, which meant I had missed at least one call.

I pressed the blinking button and opened the fridge since I really needed to eat something sweet now!

_Call one: Oct. 01rst, 4:24 p.m._

_Hi Gabs, it's me. I can't seem to reach you through your cell so I thought I'll try it at your home. Well I guess, I have no luck. I'll try again later._

_Oh and btw, I have come to my senses again, so it would be nice if you just give me a callback, okay?_

_See you. - _Ashley.

I got out a chocolate pudding and closed the fridge again. With the spoon in one hand, I opened the pudding with my other hand. Then I put in a spoon full of pudding in to my mouth - _so good._

_Call two: Oct. 01rst, 5:35 p.m._

_Can't seem to reach you on your cell lately. Are you free tomorrow evening? Just walk to my apartment once you made a decision._

_Bye! - _Lauren.

_Call three: Oct 01rst, 6:04 p.m._

_Ashley told me what happened. Plus she also told me that you don't feel so well lately. You know you can come home every time you want. I'm sure everything will be fine, Sweetie._

My mother. The one, who I haven't talked to since two months.

There was no message from him. None on the answering machine anyway. I didn't know if I should cry about it or not. I was unsure whether I wanted it or not. I mean, of course I did want him to leave but… but then…. then there was this part in me which wanted to be in his arms forever. I felt the tears forming in my eyes and then I felt them rolling down my cheeks, but this time… this time there was no one who could remove them with his thumbs. No one was there. I was alone. All alone.

That's when I saw it. I saw it lieing on the table in my living room. I saw the yellow piece of paper laying there. I saw his beautiful curly handwriting on this tiny yellow piece of paper.

I walked into my living room and brushed through my hair as I sat down on the couch.

My life was a total chaos. My husband cheated on me, so I left him. Then I found out I am pregnant, just in time to see my husband turning up. He is sorry, but I am not going to forgive him. Or am I?

Then my eyes slowly moved to the piece of paper in front of me:

_I won't give up on us. That's why I'll pick you up on Thursday at 8 p.m.. And yes it is a date. Movies and dinner after wards, so nothing too big. We're going to try it this way. Whether you like it or not, I won't leave you now. All I ask for is a chance. All I need is a date._

_Give me that date._

There was no signature. There were just words, words which didn't seem to find their way into my heart. They couldn't find a way because it was so closed up that there was no way I could let him in again.

I sighed and picked up the phone before I started to dial Ashley's number.

"Look who isn't mad at me anymore." she answered.

"Look who has come to her senses again." I answered back, "What's going on in your life, BFF?"

"Oh nothing much, really. I had a busy afternoon and I may even have a busy week."

"Oh why's that?"

"Well I have to fly to New York for a couple of days to meet up with some business men. Then there's the charity Gala for Haiti. You still will go, right?"

"Yeah sure. When is it again?"

"On Thursday." _Crap._

"Yeaahhh okay, no problem. I will be there." I said and bit on my lip.

"What plans do you have again?"

"Well I certainly did not make any plans. Someone else did."

"Who?" she asked slowly, "Oh please don't tell me your neighbor George has-"

"No, of course not. We're just friends. I told you. Besides I am pregnant and he has a girlfriend."

"Oh that means nothing, honey. Trust me that means nothing."

"Right… anyways, Troy left me a message saying that we _have_ a date on Thursday night."

"Skip the gala."

"Ashley!"

"What? You know that I would."

"I'm not sure I will."

"Why not?"

"Because it's an important gala and we've been planning to go there since weeks."

"So what?"

"So what? I tell you so what! It's more important to collect money for Haiti than to go on a date with Troy."

"Oh no it's not."

"Yes it is and you know it."

"But… but… it's Troyella we're talking about here."

"There's no Troyella, Ashley. There's just him and me. That's all."

"And the baby of you two."

"Yeah… and the baby." I said and put on hand on my stomach. She will need her father. I will have to tell him sooner or later, "You really think I should go on a date?"

"You can still donate money through me. Just give me a check."

"I'm not sure it is save to give you a check which is at least worth 10,000 $."

"Hey, I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet." she answered and I laughed.

"There's no untruth to that." I agreed.

"So how was your day?"

"Stressful. I had to work a lot, plus I will fly to Germany sometime next week. I have to work with some German bands, which I am very excited about. After the visit in Germany I'm gonna head over to Paris, where I will just stay some days. You wanna join?"

"Mhm… you and me in Paris. Sure, why not?"

"Good, the date should be around the end of September. Oh that reminds me, have you ever been to the Oktoberfest in Munich?"

"Nope, any good?"

"Thousands of people and thousands of liter of beer plus good food."

"And you want to go. As if it isn't enough that a pregnant woman has to sit on the plane for 10 hours, _no_ that crazy pregnant woman wants to visit the Oktoberfest also."

"So I guess that is a no."

"It is an absolute no! What are you thinking? If you keep-"

"Stop it, okay? I just thought it would be fun. To forget the stress here in L.A.."

I heard a sigh on the phone, "I know, but we have Paris waiting for us."

"And Paris will be good."

"Who knows, maybe you will change your mind about the one who comes with you." And with those words she hung up.

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	12. Perhaps this wasn't the right decision

**12. Perhaps this wasn't the right decision**

It was a day of the week and I was feeling horribly sick. I threw up four times and sneezed every 5 minutes. As if that wasn't bad enough, I had a huge headache.

I laid on the bed rolled-up like a cat and every once in a while I got up again to throw up. The box of tissues was right next to me and it was also already the third box. There was no way I could fall asleep, but there was also no way I could do anything other than lay in the bed. I stared at the ceiling and thought about… nothing.

Hours later I heard a ring which woke me up. Somehow I fell asleep during counting sheep. Somehow I did fell asleep and I dreamed about nothing. It was nice to just sleep for a while. Without having dreams about Troy. Without remembering our relationship through dreams. Without going through hell all over again. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. And most of the times I felt pain, but sometimes… sometimes I felt nothing. It was like he was indifferent to me. It was like he meant nothing to me. That's when I got scared. Those dreams scared the hell out of me. Because those dreams… those dreams meant my daughter will grow up without a father and then… then she would end up like me.

Pregnant and alone.

The ring sound was there again. I sighed and slowly got up. On my way to the front door I looked at the watch: it was eight p.m.. Wait, what day was it again? My eyes moved down to the calendar, shit it was Thursday. It was a Thursday and it was eight.

No, no, no! How could this happen? Why does this always have to happen to me?

I brushed through my hair and felt the headache coming up again.

There was a third ring and I sneezed as I opened it.

A man in a black shirt and dark jeans looked at me.

"You forgot it?" he asked me shocked as he eyeballed me. I was just wearing some sweatpants and an old white shirt.

I sneezed again, "I'm sorry… It's just I haven't been feeling very well the last couple of days and… yeah, I forgot it. I also forgot to give Ashley the check." I said as my eyes moved to the check was still hanging there. "I am a horrible person. Give me five minutes." I said and held the door open, "I'll be quick." I said and sneezed again.

"Oh no, that's not gonna happen."

"You really think I don't want to go? Oh come on!" I said and sighed, "I-"

"We won't go out. Not tonight anyway."

"Are you-"

"We will stay here." he said and placed his coat on the couch.

"You…"

"I will make you a chicken soup."

"Don't have any chicken."

"I will go to the store and you will go back into your bed." he said and I looked at him before I sneezed again. "You will definitely need to stay in bed."

I sighed, "Alright fine. Take the key on table in the kitchen, otherwise I will have to get up in a couple of minutes again." I said and felt the headache.

"Should I buy you some headache tablets?" he asked me worried.

I shouldn't take any tablets, right? It may cause damage to the baby. "No. No tablets. But thanks for asking." I said and let my lips from a smile.

He nodded, "Go back to bed. I will be back in a couple of minutes." he answered before he picked up the key and left the flat.

I sneezed and smiled as my eyes were still focused on the front door. He means what he said. He wouldn't give up. It was nice to see such a strong will in him.

Minutes later I was laying on the couch instead of my bed. I sneezed as I switched on the TV. Nothing good was on. No good movie, no good series… no good talk shows. But there was this nice documentary about lions. I decided that this would be what I would watch.

The door opened as a lion fight was shown on the scream.

"Ew, I can't watch this!" I said and turned my head away, so I wouldn't see it.

"What are you watching?" Troy asked me as he placed the plastic bags on the kitchen table.

"Something I shouldn't. Lion documentary."

"And now why is it so disgusting?" he asked me from the kitchen.

"It's not disgusting it's just… You know, there wasn't… I mean,… Oh fine whatever. I won't watch it anyway now." I said and got up. Too fast. I felt the dizziness right away. And I also felt how my body fell back on the couch again.

"Are you okay?" he asked me when he heard my body fall on the couch.

"I'm fine!" I yelled back. "I am fine." I mumbled to myself and placed my hands on my stomach. In that moment Troy walked in.

"Stomach ache?" he asked me.

Shit. Don't tell him. He doesn't have to know _yet_. "Yeah…" I said and nodded.

"I should have gotten any painkillers."

I shook my head, "I am feeling fine."

"You are sick."

"Well-"

"How did you get sick exactly? I mean…"

"Caught it from some one at work. Colleagues were sick, so that's where I got it perhaps."

He nodded, "Tea?"

"Oh no, please! No tea."

"You will still drink a lemon tea. At least one." he said and walked back into the kitchen.

I sighed and got up. This time slowly and carefully. No dizziness, no vertigos… nothing.

"Why didn't you go home when you saw me?" I asked him as I entered the kitchen. The soup was already cooking in a pot and the water was already in the electric kettle. He was caring. Caring about me.

"Why should I?"

"Why should you?"

"I won't walk away. I told you this more than once. That's why I am here." he said and looked at me, "I still love you. I care about you. I need you."

I put on my poker face. A face without any emotion, because I couldn't figure out what I felt. I couldn't figure out if there was still _something_ I felt for him. "You don't need me and you know it."

"How can you be so cold?" he asked me as he filled the cups with hot water.

"Because I know now the truth. You showed me how you really felt and I accepted it."

"Then why do you let me get so close to you again?"

"I have my reasons." Our daughter.

"What kind of reasons?"

"I won't tell you." _Yet._

"Better be some good reason." _Oh it is._

"Perhaps the decision to let you be with me again wasn't a good one." I said as he handed me the cup.

"Still hot, be careful." he said and walked back to the stove again. The soup was nearly done, "Do you still have feelings for me?" he asked me out of sudden.

I took a sip of the hot tea, "I loved you with all my heart, but now it scares me how I feel nothing when I think of you." I said honest.

"You're definitely still not afraid to tell the truth. That's one of the things I love about you."

I let the words echo in the kitchen.

"I won't forgive you and you know it."

"I know, but deep down inside of you there's still something. There are still feelings for me. And whether you like it or not, I will do everything to sustain them."

I didn't response. Not in my actions and not with my words.

I took a sip of the hot tea and burned my tongue. Too bad this wasn't the only thing which I burned. My heart felt like it was in flames again. Flames of lust… of need… of love?

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	13. Don't leave me

**13. Don't leave me**

Two weeks later:

I was getting ready. Ready for a date. For a date with Troy. With the father of my daughter. With my husband.

I walked into my closet and started to look for a dress to wear. Black? Green? Red? Beige? Purple? Grey?

I decided to wear black. It would hide my pregnancy the best. It would hide the still not existing baby bump. It would hide my fat thighs and the matching black boots would hide my big feet. As I closed the zipper on the side of my dress, I did feel like a compressed cow in a black dress. It was tight, but it was the only dress which still 'fits' me. I sighed and looked at my mirror. There was no sign of pregnancy, was there? I have only gained weight so far. I have only gotten fatter in the last couple of weeks. I have only… been pregnant. I smiled. Pregnant, a part of me still didn't believe it. A part of me still felt like it was a dream bubble. A bubble which could burst at any moment.

The dress didn't have plunging neckline, in fact it didn't have any neckline at all. It was a black dress from GUESS. I decided to let my hair open. Mascara and a little bit of lip gloss would do it for tonight.

I sighed as I looked at the watch, he would be here any minute. The doorbell would ring at any moment. I would smile, before I would close the door behind me. Then we would get into his car and drive off. We would pretend that nothing happen. We would force ourselves to fake happiness. We would…

I looked at the person in the mirror. This person wearing a tight-fitting black dress, with mascara and lip gloss on with long earrings on. That wasn't me. I wasn't in this dress from GUESS. It wasn't me who would wear that kind of clothes to that kind of events. I wouldn't… I would never go on a date with him. I never would give him a second chance. I would stay stubborn! I would say no, and I would keep on saying no until he gets it. I would… I would leave him, instead of getting closer to him again. I wouldn't do those things. I wouldn't be with him again.

But that was the me 5 months ago. That was the me who lived in a pricey flat in a posh neighborhood in the city, which is famous for its' superlative. In a city called London. It was the me, who went from one event to the other. It was the me, who kept her mouth shut if she wasn't asked. That was the me I would never ever be again. Because that me wasn't going to be a mother. But now I am. I am going to be a mother and I need to start to think like one. I need to think about my child and stop thinking about what's best for me. I need to try everything I can, in order to make her happy.

But I couldn't wear the dress. I couldn't pretend to be someone, I am not anymore. I couldn't keep on trying to be the old me, because the old me has died 5 months ago.

I changed. I changed from the uncomfortable black GUESS dress into a dark jeans, in which I almost don't fit anymore, and a beige blouse with ruching. But I still would wear black boots. I changed the earrings also. From the long earrings into stud earrings.

I was nervous. I had to admit, I felt like I was still the 21-year old woman, who was working for Bolton's. I felt like I was going on a date, on which I shouldn't. I, somehow, felt like time has turned back. I felt like _this_ was the beginning of our relationship. I felt like everything was new again, even though nothing really changed.

My hair would go up. My hair would be put into a messy bun.

That is the me I am today. That is the me I will be, no matter what will happen today. That is the me-

The doorbell interrupted my thoughts. He was here.

With one last look into my reflection I walked downstairs. I was going to be fine. No matter what's going to happen, I will be fine. I am okay and I will be okay. Right?

With those thoughts on my mind, I opened the door.

He was standing in front of me. Straight and with dignity. He was standing there like he had on our very first date. He was wearing a pair of jeans along with a black chemise. His hair was plastered with hair gel. He looked good. He looked nice. He looked _hot_.

"You-" he started but got interrupted by my ringing phone.

"I'll be quick." I said and walked over to the ringing phone. I picked it up after the fourth ring, "Hello?"

_"Your plane heads off in three hours."_

"In three hours? Michael, you can not be serious! I thought the trip to Australia would start tomorrow. You said it would be tomorrow. You didn't say anything about tonight. You said tomorrow."

_"I know, but they just called me and told me to tell you. We're flying in three hours."_

"I can't. I have plans."

_"Reschedule."_

"Easy for you to say this." I said as I watched Troy.

_"Listen, I didn't choose this flight also. I had plans also. But that will have to wait. Work's above everything."_

"But I…"

_"Put a sad smile on your lips and say you're sorry but something got in between. You still want to go to Australia, right?"_

"Of course I do. It's a once in a lifetime chance."

_"Then you know what to do."_

I sighed, "I hate my job."

_"No you don't."_ he said and hung up.

My eyes were focused on the phone as I let out a big sigh. Well, I guess there won't be a date again. I brushed through my hair as I walked over to him.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

"I'm sorry, but-"

"You know, you could have just said that you didn't want to go out with me." he interrupted me.

"It's not that I don't want to… I just can't. Something has come in between." I said with a sad smile on my lips.

"What could have possibly come in between?"

"Life, I guess." I said and sighed, "There's a plane I need to be on in three hours."

"Which destination?"

"Australia." I said and he looked at me with hurt in his eyes, "I'm going to stay there for a couple of days. As far as I was informed the flight would be tomorrow, but I guess it is today."

He nodded, "Have fun in Australia."

"At least now you understand how I have felt for 7 years." I said and didn't even feel anything anymore. I felt no pity. I felt absolutely nothing.

"I guess what goes around come around." he answered and started to walk out. He stopped in the door frame and turned around, "Are you going to give me a second chance or not?"

"Well how does it look like?" I asked him and rolled my eyes.

"Then don't go."

"What?"

"Don't go. Don't take this flight. Australia can wait."

"You don't understand. I _have_ to go. It's a once in a lifetime chance, for me. If I miss this, everything I have worked for was for nothing." I said and walked closer to him.

"So what?"

"So what? Seriously? _I_ have supported every of your freaking trips in the past and now just because you say so, I should not go? No thanks. I am going to start caring about me. I will stop listening to whatever you say. You know what? I don't care what you say. I don't care what you think. Hell, I don't even care how you feel right now!" I yelled at him and slammed the door shut.

"Gabriella, I didn't mean it that way. Open the door, please." I heard his voice.

"You meant it exactly that way! Just like you meant it when you slept with Amanda! You mean _everything_ you say or do."

I heard him taking a deep breath, "Gabriella just open the door, so we can talk like civilized people. Please?"

"No! I don't have time for your pitiful apologies." I said and walked away.

I walked up the stairs but stopped as soon as I heard the noise of unlocking a door. Oh no he did not!

Troy walked in, "If you don't let me in, I'm going to let myself in."

"How could you keep it?" I yelled at him, "Give me the key!"

"No."

"No? What do you mean by that? Give it back or I swear I will-"

"You will what? Cut me out of your life? Yeah, you already did that. There's nothing worse which could happen to me. So I am not afraid of what you will do. Not anymore." he said and closed the door, "Why do you have to go?"

"Because I have to."

"And why can't you tell me the truth?"

"Because I don't want to." I answered as I walked up the stairs. I needed to pack.

He followed me. Of course, he did. "What do you have to do in Australia?"

"I have meetings to go to." I answered as I reached my bedroom.

"Meetings with who?"

"Investors."

"Investors? Why do you have to meet up with investors?" he asked me confused as I started to throw clothes into my suitcase.

"Because I just have to."

"Why can't you just answer my question with an answer, which actually helps me?"

I sighed, "I'm planning to do something."

"Oh _really? _I _never _would have guessed."

I let out a frustrated sigh as I walked into the bathroom to pick up my toothbrush and other things, "Alright if you really need to know: I am planning to open a record label."

"You want to open up your own record label?" he asked me surprised.

"Oh come on! Why is everyone acting like this is such a big surprise! I am good at my job, now I want to open up a record label. What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing… it's just… a surprise. That's all."

"Okay." I said as I walked back into my bedroom.

"Okay." he repeated as I threw the things into the suitcase.

"I will go. You know I will. Because you have kept leaving me over and over and over again for some business trips and I just... Now it's my turn. I am going to go. Not you. I-" he stopped me with a kiss. Just like that. Just like that he kissed me. Quickly one kiss turned into another… and another… and another one. I got lost in those kisses. I forgot everything around me. Everything but those kisses. I returned every single kiss from him. But soon the kisses weren't enough for both of us.

"Don't leave me." he mumbled as he started to kiss my neck.

"I won't…" I said with my eyes closed, "I won't." I repeated and kissed him.

I felt his hands moved up and down my body. I was losing control over myself, I knew that. But at the same time I wanted to lose control. Just once. Just this once. So I started opening his chemise, while we were kissing. I felt his hands opening in my jeans before I felt them on my chin again.

And just like that, the game of love took control over us.

* * *

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	14. Don't you forget about me

**14. Don't you forget about me**

I sat on the corner of the bed, my naked body covered with only a beige silk blanket. My eyes moved to the watch: The plane would depart in exactly two hours. I could still make it.

Then my head looked over my left shoulder and I saw my husband sleeping in my bed. He looked so peaceful, so happy. I brushed through my hair, before I got up to collect my clothes from the floor. Then I walked into my closet, where I got some fresh underwear and a new pair of jeans plus a simple shirt and a black cardigan. Then I walked into my bathroom, where I took a shower. Then I changed into my clothes and quickly blow dried my hair. With only mascara on my eyelashes and lipstick on my lips, I walked out of the bathroom.

Troy was still sleeping in the bed. He didn't even move in that past 20 minutes. I sighed and looked at my suitcase. Everything was packed. Everything was set.

I couldn't just leave, could I? But he had left me so many times. Just like that he was gone. From one moment to the other.

But I couldn't do it. I couldn't just leave him. So I wrote some words on a piece of paper, some words which would help him understand.

_This doesn't mean we're back together again. This does not mean anything. Not to me anyway. _

And on the back of it I wrote:

_I may be able to forgive you but I will never, never ever forget._

I left the note on the nightstand and with it I left my heart. I needed to have my head straight in Australia, that's why I decided I would put my feelings by side. For at least the days in Australia.

The traffic was horrible. Usually it takes an hour to get to the LAX from where I live, but this time it was just a lot more, 75 minutes to be exact. I checked in just in time. I was the last one who needed to check in. I didn't see Micheal, neither did I see Daniel or Karen.

I sighed as I saw the paparazzi taking pictures of me _again_. How much I hated it. I would never be able to have some privacy. My life would always be in the press. It always has been since I met Troy. He put my life into the press. Now whatever my problems were, they were the press' problems also. Whatever bothered me, bothered them also.

But there was one thing no one knew but Ashley, Addison and me. And that was my pregnancy. No one knew about it but them. And I hope that it's going to stay this way for a while. I looked at the big black desk to see where I needed to go to: Gate 45b. I would be able to board on the plane in 1 hour. I walked into a store to buy myself some magazines. I bought some tabloids and some newspapers. After all I would have one hour to wait and a 30 hour flight to be on.

I walked over to Starbucks and saw Michael and Karen sitting there.

"Look who changed her mind." Michael said to Karen.

"Oh guys don't be so mad at me." I said as I walked to them.

"We thought you've chickened out." Karen answered with tease in her crystal blue eyes.

"Yeah that's not gonna happen." I said as I sat down.

"Have you canceled your appointment?" Micheal asked me.

"Yeah, something like that for sure." I answered and turned around to look at the flight plan again. Still 45 minutes until we could board on the plane. Suddenly all the flights went away and instead white words in big letters appeared:

_Don't you forget about me._

Aww how sweet! Someone must have for sure have a lovely partner if the partner writes something like that on a desk as big as this. Probably a long distant relationship.

Then my phone rang and I looked at the display:

_Have a nice time in Australia. I hope you saw the message on the flight plan._

"For who was that?" Karen asked as the flights appeared on the flight plan again.

"That was for me apparently." I answered and looked up with confusion on my mind.

"For you? From who?" Karen asked.

"Oh no…" Michael said, knowing who it was.

"Oh yes." I said to him.

"Hellooo? From who?" Karen asked again.

"From my… well husband." I answered and Karen looked at me confused.

"Then why don't you wear a ring?" she asked me.

I looked at Michael. "Please don't tell me, that I interrupted you guys. Please don't tell me you had plans with him tonight and I dragged you to the airport. If so, take the next flight tomorrow. I don't want you to-"

"Michael it's fine. I mean, yeah I kind of was planning to go on a date with him tonight, but so what? I will go to Australia one way or another. It doesn't matter if it's tonight or tomorrow."

"But wasn't he like…"

"I don't care about his feelings. He deserves whatever he feels right now." I answered.

Karen just watched us with confusion in her face, "You are married?"

I nodded, "Yeah, but I left him 5 months ago."

"Why?"

"Because he cheated on her with some hoe called Amanda, honey." Michael answered for me.

"How awful! I am so sorry, Gabriella."

"Don't be. It wasn't you who got cheated on. It wasn't you who felt the pain, so don't be. I don't need pity. I am fine by myself. We are going to be fine."

"We?" they both asked me confused.

Oh crap! Why can't I just keep my mouth shut for just once? "I am pregnant." I said with a smile on my face.

"Pregnant?" Karen asked me shocked, while Michael was already hugging me.

"It is from Troy, isn't it?" he asked me.

"Of course she is his!"

"She?" Karen asked again.

"I think this is all a little bit too much for her right now." Michael said to me and I nodded.

"But don't tell anyone yet. And with anyone I mean everyone. Not the press and not Charles. I will tell the boss myself as soon as I have to."

"Well how far are you?" Michael asked me.

"In the middle of my fifth month, actually."

"But you… there's no baby bump!" Karen said amazed. "How could you not have a baby bump while other women are round as a ball in the fifth month?"

I shrugged, "Good Genes? I don't know. I just don't have one… yet."

"But you are able to fly to Australia, right? I mean… it is okay, right?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea. But I am feeling fine so far. So why not?"

"Call your gynecologist. Now." Karen answered.

I sighed, "Fine. But I am sure it is okay…" I answered as I dialed Addison's number.

"Oh hi Gabs! How are you?"

"Good. How are you Addy?"

"Perfect. Sam and me are back together again."

"Does Naomi already know about you two?"

"Oh do you have to mention that?"

"Sorry, just being realistic here. You will have to tell her some time…"

"I know… Why are you calling anyway?"

"Listen, I am at the airport right now and I'm going to fly to Australia and-"

"No you're not."

"WHAT?" I asked her shocked.

"You will not board on that plane. If you do, I will personally drag you out of there. You can not fly for over 30 hours. There's no way I will let you board on that plane."

"But I already flew to Germany."

"Yeah that was also just a seven hour flight, honey. But a 30 hour flight: No way!"

"But it's very important."

"Your daughter is more important than some business meeting with some investors in Australia, Gabriella."

I sighed, "Fine, I won't go."

"Thank you. And to make sure you will not go, we will meet up for a coffee at Starbucks in 20 minutes."

"Okay, see you then." I said and hung up.

"And?" they both asked me.

"I am not going. You will have to do this on your own. You can do this on your own."

"Oh we know we can, it would just be easier with you with us. But we completely understand why you can't." Karen answered and placed her hand over mine, "I am happy for you."

I smiled, "I am also." I said and got up, "Uhm keep the newspapers and tabloids. I won't need them after all."

"We're gonna open our own record label." Karen answered, "We will no matter how the investors decide."

I nodded, "I know… Have fun in Australia, okay?"

"We will." Michael said with a smile on his face.

20 minutes later I found myself in an armchair at Starbucks. In front of me was a cup of tea. Across me was Addison walking in. I took a sip of my peppermint tea and waited for Addison to walk up to me. She smiled at me as she walked over to me.

"How nice to see you!" Addision said as she hugged me.

"See, I am still in Los Angeles. Everything's okay now, Mom."

"That's good because you might get some problems in your pregnancy."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked her carefully.

"Well, do you remember the tests me made last time you were at the practice?" she asked me.

I nodded, "Of course. You told me that I have hypotonia, which is normal…"

"Yeah that might cause pregnancy diabetes."

"Okay, then I will have pregnancy diabetes. I can deal with that."

"This pregnancy won't be an easy one for you, Gabs." she said.

"I know. But I will do anything to continue this pregnancy."

She nodded, "Okay…" she said and her cell rang. "I'll be right back." she said before she got up and picked up the call.

Minutes later she walked back.

"Sorry, but the hospital needs me to be back in 20 minutes."

I nodded, "I know how that feels…"

"Anyways, have you told Troy about the pregnancy yet?" she asked me.

I shook my head, "No…"

"But you will tell him, right?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, on one hand he deserves to know the truth on the other hand why should I tell him?"

"Because he is the father of your child. And no matter if you like it or not, but he has a right to know."

I nodded, "I know… I know. But… I can't forgive him, Addision."

"No one expects that from you."

"He does."

"No he doesn't, Gabs. He knows that he screwed up big time. He knows that you won't forgive him easily. But as far as I am informed, he is really trying to make it up to you. All you have to do is let him make up to you. Give him a chance. A real one."

"Well I actually planned to go out with him tonight."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because my partner called me to tell me there's a plane I should be on tonight."

"To Australia."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"We want to open up a record label. Here in Los Angeles. All we need are investors and some artists. Then we're set."

She nodded, "Big plans you have there, pregnant woman."

"Yeah, I know." I said and smiled, "But I have a very good feeling about this."

She nodded and we heard a cellphone ringing again. "Urgh, I hate my cellphone sometimes." she said and walked away again.

I got out my Blackberry and stared at the display for seconds before I started to write a text.

_Turns out my flight got canceled. Still wanna eat popcorn and watch a movie at the cinema?_

I sent it to Troy. Seconds later I got a reply.

_How about 'Eat, Pray, Love' at 8 p.m.?_

I sighed as I watched Addison arguing on the phone. I didn't want to be the person on the other line.

_Alright. Pick me up at 7:30 p.m.

* * *

_

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**Xoxo Nicole  
**


	15. Are we something like okay?

**15. Are we something like okay?**

We were driving in his black Range Rover Sport.

I felt soft kicks in my stomach, a lot of soft kicks. Those kicks caused me to smile, while I watched the streets out of the window.

"Why did your flight got canceled?" he asked me with his eyes focused on the road.

"Dunno, just did." I lied and bit on my lip, "You know what? We don't have to go to the cinema."

"Okay…" he said.

"How about we go to a restaurant instead?"

"Okay…" he said again.

"I'm in the mood for pizza… or noodles… or both. Oh and that meal I ate with Ashley a couple of days ago… What was that again? Oh right, I know! Crème brûlée with raspberries and strawberries."

"Then we will eat instead of watching a movie." he answered as he stopped at a red light.

"Okay." I said with a little smile on my face.

"What changed your mind?" he asked me.

"What do you mean?" I asked him confused.

"Why did you decide to give me a second chance after all?"

"What? Aren't you greatful? If you-"

"Stop it! You know that I-"

"Then why are you asking me stuff like that? You _want_ this second chance, don't you?"

He nodded, "Of course I want a second chance and you know it."

"Oh really, you do?" I almost yelled at him.

He stopped on the side of this side road in the middle of the Hollywood Hills. Woods surrounded us. We were the only car in the road, the only car in the Hollywood Hills.

Then he turned off the motor, put on the hand break and looked at me.

"What?" I asked him in a sharp tone. _Didn't quite come out as I wanted it to be._

"I don't deserve this. You know that I don't. I have done some horrible things to you, but I don't deserve this 'second chance' you have given me." he said, not looking into my eyes.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do… I didn't know how to feel.

After this long silence, which surrounded us, I spoke up. "Either way you love me or you hate me. There's no thing in between and you know it. If you don't want the second chance, fine with me. I am going to be alright without you."

"Are you?" he asked me and looked me in the eyes.

"Yes I will. You have no idea how it feels to find out your husband cheated on you! I never did something like that to you! I never even thought about something like that! You were the love of my life! I loved you with all my heart! I gave you my heart and you… you ripped it apart without even blinking! You have hurt me the worst way possible. And now you expect me to just give you a second chance. I… I can't give you this second chance. I can't give it to you like that."

He eyeballed me for minutes. Minutes of silence filled the car, but the raindrops interrupted this silence. We were standing in the middle of nowhere, in the pouring rain. It was like a scene straight from some Hollywood movie. Only that the actions weren't pretended. They were real.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" he asked me after this long silence.

"Of course I still have feelings for you, Troy!" I said in a loud voice before I rolled my eyes. "Otherwise I wouldn't have felt the pain in my chest months after you cheated on me. Otherwise I wouldn't have-"

"Then why did you send out divorce papers?" he interrupted me with no emotion in his voice nor in his eyes.

I sighed, "It was the only way to close this chapter of my life."

"Then why didn't you close it yet?"

"I… I can't tell you." I said and brushed through my hair.

"Do you still love me?" he asked me slowly.

I looked out of the window, "I don't know… I really don't."

"But why did you decide to give me a second chance then?"

I felt soft kicks in my stomach, "Because I have a reason."

"Will you tell me the reason?"

"Someday I will. But not now." Although now would be the perfect time to tell him.

"Are you ever going to forgive me?" he asked me.

I stared into his eyes. "I've been asking myself the very same question for months now."

"And?"

"Someday I will." I said looking into his eyes. "Someday when the time is right."

We continued staring into each others eyes. Then we slowly moved closer.

"When will someday be?" he asked me and I could feel his warm breath against my skin.

I felt how my mood changed from normal into lustful. I felt how my heart started to beat faster… I didn't answer, instead kissed him. He returned my kiss and I felt his hand fondeling my cheek. Then we placed our forehead against each other.

"I can't tell you when that is. Only time will tell." I whispered to him.

He nodded, "Okay. Then let's go." he said and let the motor on again.

We drove in silence. The whole way down the road was silent.

"Maybe we should go to the cinema instead of eating." I said and he just nodded.

I yawned as I watched the rain drops sliding down the window of the black Range Rover.

"Are we something like okay?" he asked me.

"We are on the way to be something like okay someday." I answered before I yawned again. I felt how the tiredness took control over me. I yawned again and felt how my eyelids got heavier and heavier with every passing second. My breath got slower and regular. No, I couldn't be tired. I couldn't want to sleep now. I was on a date for Christ's sake! I was on a date with my husband. My pregnancy couldn't make me tired now_. _

_Mommy needs to stay awake. Just for a couple of hours._ I thought as I held my stomach. _Just for a couple of hours._

And then… then I, against all my tries, felt myself falling into a deep sleep.

The sunlight woke me up the next morning. I started to stretch in my bed and I also started to feel a headache. I yawned before I got up and slowly walked into the bathroom. I washed my face and looked at my reflection in the mirror. How did I got here? Oh my gosh, did I fell asleep in the car? I am such a horrible person! I was on a date and I fell asleep! How stupid am I? Oh crap!

I got into my slippers and rushed down the stairs. On my way I delicious odors made their ways into my nose. He was still here, wasn't he?

I ran into the kitchen to only see him cooking in my kitchen.

"I am sorry." I said.

My words caused him to turn around, "Good morning to you also."

"I am sorry for falling alsleep in your car on our date. I didn't mean to. It was just… Suddenly I was _so_ tired and… I am sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to end our date just like that."

He smiled, "It's fine."

"Really?"

"Really. So you fell asleep, it doesn't matter. No big deal."

"We will have a date. Tonight. A real one. With dinner and everything."

"Alright." he said and I saw the sparkle in his eyes, "Breakfast?"

"What did you make?" I asked him as I walked closer.

"Pancakes. I also bought some fresh fruits." he answered and I ate a grape.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "Why should I? You were asleep and it would have been selfish of me to wake you up, don't you think?"

I was silent. "So what did you do after you carried me to bed?" I asked him.

"Well I went home of course." he lied. He stayed here. But he slept on the couch as I could see from the kitchen. The couch was totally messed up. He stayed…here. He stayed here with me.

"Then why did you come here earlier to make breakfast?"

"Why shouldn't I? I told I'm gonna put everything I have in this relationship. Why don't you let me try? Why are you always pushing me away?"

"I am not pushing you away!"

"Yes you are and you know it."

I sighed and sat down on the chair. Then I brushed through my hair, "I can't help it, okay? I can't live with you, neither can I without you… I am stuck in this quandary."

He walked over to me and took my hands, "Let me be a part of your life again."

I felt the tears forming in my eyes. "I can't. I can't let you be a part of my life again because… what if you will break my heart again? What if I am just running in circles here? I can't let myself go through this crap again just because you want me to."

"Don't you want it? Don't _you _want us to be us again?"

"We can never be like we had been once. We can't turn back time and pretend like nothing happened. You know that as well as I do."

"Then what are we doing here?"

I shrugged, "I don't know! I don't know if I can give you my heart again. I can't just forgive you. Not just like that. It takes time to forgive."

"I am giving you this time, don't you see that?"

"I do." I said and wiped away the tears, "I can see how much effort you put in us, but… perhaps there's no us anymore."

"What… What do you mean by that?" he asked me carefully.

"I need you to need to be with me. I need you to be there for me. But most of all I need you to love me more than anyone else. I can't bare the picture of you and another woman, beside your family of course. I… In my dreams I keep on picturing you with a woman. Each time you call her Amanda, but it's never the same woman. That's what scares me. Not only that you have slept with more women than just Amanda, but that I am not important enough to you, that you want to be with me." I said as the tears slid down my hot red cheeks.

"Gabriella…" he said and whipped them away.

"What? Are you going to say it's not true? Because it is. I wasn't important enough to you. Otherwise you wouldn't have cheated on me. You know it and I do. Don't try to deny it. Just be man enough and admit it."

He scanned my eyes before he decided to speak, "I can't admit that. I can't admit something which is entirely false. You are the most important thing in my life, you have always been and you know it."

"Then why did you do this to me? Why did you _had_ to break me apart?"

"Because…" he stopped.

"Because you love her? Is that what you're trying to say?" I yelled at him, "Because if you do then-"

"Because she had this." he said and threw a microchip on the table.

"What… A microchip? What's on it?" I asked him confused. Why would she have a microchip?

"Amanda's a journalist. But not only is she one for 'The Sun', she also works with the New York Times."

"That still doesn't answer my question. What's on the microchip?"

"A tape."

"What's on this tape?"

"Us."

"Doing what?"

"Having sex."

I was silent for minutes. A sex tape. A sex tape from us. A sex tape on a microchip. In my kitchen. In my flat. In L.A.. A sex tape for Christ's sake! "Who knows about this?" I asked in a calm voice.

"No one."

"How did she-"

"Remember the time back in London? When we just started dating?"

"Oh no…"

"Oh yes."

"But how could there be a camera? I didn't see one."

"Neither did I. But somehow Amanda got one into the room and hid it very well."

"So you chose your business above me." I said into his hurt eyes, "Just like you always have. You'd choose anything above me! Anything!" I yelled at him.

He was silent. Speechless. Impressed by the truth?

"_Why_ are you doing this to me? Why are you always hurting me with every single decision you make? Why are you thinking you can walk in and out of my life just like that?" I said in a loud voice and brushed through my hair, "But most of all I'd like to know how you can sleep with other women if you love me. Tell me, how do guys do that? Because I'd like to try it out myself then. Sex without any feeling must have be great, right?" I yelled at him. "It must have feel great to have two women at the same time, doesn't it?"

"You know what? It does!" he yelled back, "Having sex with one women, while the other is just pushing you away, is kinda great. Getting what you need from one woman, while the other one is just pushing you more and more away, isn't that bad either."

"Then why didn't you stay with HER?" I yelled at him.

"Because it isn't her I love!" he yelled back, "It's you."

"Love? You don't love me. Because if you loved me you would have thought about my feelings. You wouldn't have just slept with her over and over and over again!" I yelled again.

"I wanted to distract myself from you for a while!"

"You could've gotten drunk! Go out with some of your friends and play poker or billiard or watch a football game for Christ's sake! Why did you choose to betray me? Why did you choose to betray me over and over again?" I yelled and took a breath as I felt the dizziness coming up, "And now what makes you think that I will take you back?"

He brushed through his sandy brown hair and looked at me, "Because love conquers all."

"What if love doesn't exist anymore?"

"Then we would have stopped talking months ago."

"I never reached out to you. You came to me. I never called you. I am only here because of…" I stopped.

"Why? Why are you here?"

"Because I have a good reason!" I said and sat down. I felt how everything started to spin around again, so I closed my eyes and started to take deep breaths.

He didn't sit next to me, neither did he stand in front of me. He walked away. Away into the bathroom.

I took the moments I had for myself, to calm down. My pulse was very high, my heart was beating faster and my headache was killing me. I was feeling horrible. Physically horrible. Psychologically I was doing okay. Relieved in a way, perhaps.

After about 10 minutes I heard him walking into the kitchen again.

"But why did she come up with it only months ago?" I asked him in a calm voice.

"Because she needed money."

His answer surprised me. "Money? She only wanted money? Guess you have her some bonus!" I said and got up.

"Gabriella-" he said and grabbed my arm, which caused me to turn around.

"Then what? You fell in love with her. Yeah, you did! You couldn't get enough of her and forgot me!" I yelled at him and suddenly started to feel weak. That's why I sat down again.

"I didn't fell in love with her! I just…"

"You just what, Troy?"

"I felt like a nobody with her. I felt like all the pressure from the media was gone."

"I am suppose to give you that feeling. You should-"

"I do have this feeling when I am with you. Nowadays anyways. But back in London… Everything was so strained."

"It will always be strained between us and the media. Nothing is going to change."

"But it already did, Gabriella. Something, and I don't know what it is, has changed." he said and placed his hands on my cheeks, "I love you and I know you still have feelings for me. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation. And I am going to do everything I have to make you love me again."

I closed my eyes and let the tears roll down my cheeks, "I will always love you, but right now hate takes control of me. There are moments in which I almost feel something like love again, but as for now feelings of hate and indifference prevail. I can't love you. But I can hate and love you at the same time." I answered and let his lips crashing against mine just seconds later.

"That's all I needed to hear." I heard his voice ringing my ears. "I'll give you as much time as you need, as long as there's still a chance for you and me to have our happy ending."

And that was all _I_ needed to hear.

* * *

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	16. I want your heart

**16. I want your heart**

We would go out tonight. This time for real. Without any fights. Without any drama. Without any trouble. Without any ravenousness - well not completely without it but… you know, I'll try to not give him any hint for my pregnancy. He doesn't have to know yet.

I was wearing a nice floral dress. The one dress which actually still fits me. It was beige and had red flowers on it.

I let my hair open. I let my black locks fall loosely on my shoulders.

I heard the doorbell ring and with one last look in the mirror before I opened the front door.

"Promise me, we will have this date tonight." he said as he eyeballed me, "You look beautiful." he added with a smile on his face.

I returned his smile, "I promise."

"Are you ready?"

"Pretty much…" I said and grabbed my chair. Then I felt my stomach turning around, "Just give me a second." I added and walked into the bathroom. I locked the bathroom door and turned around to face my reflection. Then I placed my hands on my flat stomach and said, "Don't do this. Don't give him a hint. Not yet. Please, not tonight." I said and took a deep breath, hoping that I could avoid vomiting.

No luck with this child- my stomach turned around and seconds later the bathroom was filled with a noise I only knew too good. Addison said that it would get better. The morning sickness would get better, normally. But it didn't, not yet anyway. I am still throwing up like there's no tomorrow. I am still throwing up after every first bite I have taken.

I washed my face and looked at my reflection. All my make-up was gone. Great, this is just a _great_ start.

I sighed as I started to put mascara on my lashes, lip gloss on my lips and rouge on my cheeks. Within two minutes I was done. This had to do it for tonight. I would throw up at the end of the dinner anyway, so why make such an effort?

I opened the door and walked out.

"You okay? I heard something that sounded like puking…" he asked me worried.

"I am fine. Totally fine." I ensured him as I took his hand.

He looked at our hands, before he looked up, "Okay."

I closed the front door with my free hand. Together, we walked down the hallway. On our way I saw George coming closer. Oh I just had to know how it went!

He passed us and smiled at me. Troy gave me a confused look.

"I'll be right back." I answered and turned around to walk to George.

He waited only a couple of meters away from me. He knew I would ask. He knew me. Somehow he did. He gets me.

"And?" I asked him as I walked closer.

"And what?" he asked.

"Yeah, playing that card Mr." I said and rolled my eyes, "Have you asked her?"

He nodded.

"Her answer?"

"Let's say that the moving trucks will be here tomorrow. With her stuff in it." he said and I hugged him.

"I'm very, _very_ happy for you. And you may believe me." I said into his smiling green eyes.

"Who's this?" he asked me and looked behind me.

"The husband." I answered and shrugged.

"You're taking him back?"

"A mother has to do what a mother has to do." I answered with another shrug.

He looked at me with serious eyes, "You know what I think about that."

"I know, but he's… he's the father for Christ's sake… Besides, I need him."

"You could raise this child on your own." he said in a whisper tone and I turned around. Troy was walking down the hallway, probably to his car.

"Listen, let's not discuss this tonight, okay?"

"Have you told the father about his luck yet?" he asked in a sharp tone.

I sighed, "No… not yet."

"When will you? I mean, if you plan to take him back you might as well tell him that you're pregnant and then you guys will have your happy-ending." he said into my eyes.

"Just wait until Jennifer's pregnant. Pregnancy is beautiful, I tell you. You're only acting this way because you don't like him. And you don't like him because he has done horrible things to me, but you don't know what a lovely man he can be."

"But is it worth all the pain, Gabs?"

I shook my head and started to walk away, "You bet it is." I said as I continued walking into Troy's direction, "You bet it is." I repeated with my hands on my stomach. She was worth it. It's her I am doing this for. Alright fine, maybe my happiness has a little say in this also.

I got into the passenger seat and just took a deep breath as I felt kicks inside my stomach.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"I said I am fine. You want to hear it again? I am FINE!" I hissed at him. Geez, my hormones were going crazy again.

"Alright…" he said and started the motor, "Who is that man you talked to?"

"My neighbor George…" I stopped because I suddenly felt like I was going to cry.

"Go on."

I took a deep breath, "Well, I just wanted to know if his girlfriend is moving in with him or not."

"I see…"

I looked at him, "You didn't think that… I mean, did you really…? Wait, are you…?"

"No I am not." he answered my unasked question.

"Oh you are _so_ jealous!" I said with a smile on my face. My husband was jealous. My husband was jealous!

"Let's change the topic, shall we?"

"No we shall not." I said and he gave me a look, "I can't believe you're jealous."

"Such a wonder?" he asked as he drove.

"Yes… Yeah, I think it is. I have never seen you jealous."

"Oh come on!"

"No I am serious. I have never seen you jealous before."

"Liar."

"You're one yourself! But let's be serious, you have never been jealous, have you?"

"With you? _Never_!" he said sarcastically and I hit him.

"I am serious. Answer me."

We stopped at a red light. He looked at me, "If only you knew how many times I was jealous. If only you knew how much effort I put in not showing it."

I didn't expect this. I was speechless. He was serious. He meant it.

But he never… He never showed. Not once. Not once in the seven years I have known him. Not once did he show the side I would like to know it exists. He has always been so cool… sometimes even towards me.

"Got you speechless with my confession, didn't I?" he asked as he continued driving.

"I didn't expect this honesty. Not from you."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"You… You know how to hide certain emotions." I said carefully.

He knew what I meant. "I always played with open cards when I played with you…"

"Then why can't I remember seeing those cards?" I almost hissed at him.

He shrugged, "Guess you didn't look."

"I looked, but you didn't let me see." I said and turned my head around to look outside the window.

He sighed, before he turned left.

"Where are we going? You have to turn right to get to the cinema." I answered.

"I know…"

"Then why did you turn left?"

"Because we need to talk before we can enjoy watching a movie with each other again."

"Well where do you want to have this open conversation?" I hissed at him again.

"Don't you worry about a place…" he said and continued driving.

"You know, this is unnecessary."

"No it's not and you know it."

"Fine it might be necessary, but… As long as we keep talking we'll never go on a normal date."

"We never even had a normal date." he said as he drove up the driveway to… Chateau Marmont?

"Why are we at a hotel?" I asked him confused.

"Because this is where I stay."

"Why do we have to talk at your place?"

"You rather want to talk in at Starbucks where everybody can listen to us and the paparazzi can take pictures of us?"

I sighed, he had a good point. "Alright fine. But if you just want to-"

"I promise I won't touch you. Just talking. No sexual intentions."

"You better." I answered with a small smile on my lips as he parked the car.

We walked in his suite and I sat down on the beige couch.

"So, talk." I demanded as I looked around. Well the hotel wasn't this priecy for nothing. It was a beautiful suite.

"Why do you have to turn everything good I put into whatever this is here, into something bad?"

"I am not doing so."

"You are. Why are you-"

"I am open for another date. This is our third try! You think it is easy for me to decide to go out with you? You think it is easy when we get signs that we shouldn't give us another shot?" I yelled at him. "It is not easy for me to… to put myself out there. I don't want to stand alone in the rain. I don't want to stand in the pouring rain, knowing that no one will show up with an umbrella, well not the one I want to."

"Why don't you trust me?" he asked me as he walked over to me.

"How can I? You give me no reason to trust you again."

"How about Love?"

"How about Pain? I feel pain every time I see you. I feel my broken heart beating in my chest when I see you. But I meet you. I go out with you - for the freaking third time! Doesn't this mean anything to you?" I asked him and felt the tears building up in my eyes.

"Of course it means something to me. Why do you think I keep on trying if it's not for your love?"

I walked over to him and kissed him with as much passion as I had. He returned my kiss, but he stopped as he felt my hands removing his shirt.

"I don't want this." he answered and I looked at him confused.

"What… What do you mean?"

"I don't want to sleep with you. Sex is not the solution here. Not for us. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Don't get my wrong, the sex is great but… I want your heart and not your body."

A long silence took over. A silence of confusion for me and a silence of hope from him. Hoping that I would take him back...

I scanned his eyes full of truth with mine confused brown eyes, "What happened to you?"

"You happened." he answered.

"And now the truth." I said with my eyes still focused on his eyes.

"I can't be without you. No matter how hard I tried to live without you those four months, but I can't. And I know that you can't also. You feel that pain also."

"I do, but I learned how to live with it. You get used to it."

"Are you used to it? Are you used to… Can you love me again? Because I know that I still do. I still care about you, I still care when you are sick, I still care when you're feeling bad, I still care when you feel happy. I want you to be happy. But if you're not happy with me, then say the words and I'll be gone. Forever. I won't ever come back."

I felt everything spinning around me, so I sat down again. The headache starting to grow also. "Why are you doing this?" I asked him with tears in my eyes.

"Doing what?" he asked me as he sat next to me.

"Why are you stealing my heart away again?" I asked him as I felt the tears rolling down my eyes. My body was messed up. My emotions were messed up. My hormones were messed up. And I was pregnant. I was a pregnant wreck.

He placed his hands on my cheek and put with his forehead against mine. "I promise you I keep it save."

"I heard that one before." I said with the rolling tears down my face.

He removed them with his thumbs.

"Gabriella-" I cut him off with a kiss.

* * *

**Hope you liked it. Please review.**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	17. Left alone again

**17. Left alone again**

_"Gabriella…" I heard a voice calling my name. "Gabriella…"_

_I growled before I turned around, "What?" I asked in a sleepy voice. I needed sleep. I needed my pregnant sleep. This pregnancy was exhausting!_

_"Gabriella, wake up…" I heard the voice again, but this time a hand was shaking me softly._

_"No, I need my sleep…"_

_"You're beautiful enough, you don't need your beauty sleep." he said and I growled again._

_"What do you want?" I asked him as I turned around, to face him. He was dressed. In a white chemise with a dark jeans. Why was he dressed? Was he planning to go somewhere? Why was he planning to go somewhere? "You are dressed." I said noticing and rubbed my eyes, "Why are you dressed?" I asked him as I straightened up._

_"Because I need to go." he said and sat next to me._

_"Where to?"_

_He took my hand, "New York."_

_"New York? Why? Why do you have to go to New York?" I asked him with panic in my voice._

_"You don't have to leave the bed…"_

_"Yes I do."_

_"Gabriella-"_

_"I do!" I said with tears forming in my eyes and looked into his eyes, "Why do you have to go?"_

_"Because I need to clear some things."_

_I looked away. I couldn't face him. He needed to clear some things. He always has to clear some things. He always has to leave me. He always chooses business over me. Always has and always will be. "Will you come back?" I asked him slowly._

_He lifted up my chin with his fingertips, "You bet I will."_

_I smiled and felt the tears rolling down my hot cheeks. He removed the rolling tears with his thumbs._

_"Give me 5 minutes to get dressed." I said and slowly got out of bed. "I just need to find my clothes."_

_"Relax…"_

_"I'll just grab shoes and coat." I answered still sleepy._

_"No.."_

_"No shoes, just coat…" I said as I felt the solid ground under my feet._

_"You don't have to come." he said to me._

_"You're leaving, I have to go with you to the airport."_

_"No."_

_"I have to go to say goodbye."_

_"Gabriella, no..."_

_"Yes. I have to wave to you at the gate."_

_"They won't let you come to the gate, they'll stop you at security."_

_"Okay, well I… I will wave to you at the metal detectives!"_

_"Gabriella…"_

_"I have to go with you."_

_"No!"_

_"Yes! You are leaving for New York, who knows when we will see each other again?"_

_"It'll be a week maximum."_

_"A week! That's seven days! Well, 6 days if you count the flying and the jet lag and such things. But still seven days! Including one Sabbat!" Where did Sabbat come from?_

_"Gabriella, if you come with me I won't get on the plane." he said into my confused brown eyes, "Besides, since when are you Jewish?"_

_I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. No, this could not be happening! Just when I finally start to develop something you call love for my husband, he has to leave because of his freaking job again! That's unfair! So unfair…_

_"I'll call you when I land." he said and kissed away the tears. "Okay?"_

_I just sobbed along with the rolling tears from my cheek. "I keep trying to think of fabulous things to say, but all I can think of is: Say hi to Sui and Olivia for me."_

_He put his forehead against mine, "I love you." he said and kissed me._

_"That's so much better than say hi to Sui and Olivia for me." I said with a little laugh before I kissed him._

_"I have to go." he said and just walked out like that. I watched every step he took. With each step I felt my heart breaking a little bit more and more. Until it completely shattered when he closed the door behind himself._

I woke up in panic and sweaty. I felt my fast heartbeat in my chest. I brushed through my hair and looked to my side. He was still sleeping. I got up carefully, I didn't want to wake him. I collected my underwear and got into it, before I wrapped a dressing gown around my body. With one last look at my husband I walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. There I filled up a glass with water. After that I walked out of the suite, to watch Los Angeles by night from the balcony. We were on the highest leave of the hotel. We had the best view of The city of Angels. The best view, it doesn't matter if the night took over or the sun was shining. I took a deep breath and watched the stars shining. It looked beautiful. I continued to look at the sky for minutes…

Until I felt arms embracing me from behind. Moments later I felt his chin on my left shoulder.

"What are you doing here?"

"Enjoying Los Angeles by night."

He kissed my cheek, "Why aren't you in bed with me?"

"Bad dream…" I said casually and turned around.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, "No… Why aren't you sleeping? When I left you were sleeping peacefully."

He shrugged, "You know I can't sleep without you. Besides, your ringing cellphone woke me up." he answered and held up my Blackberry Bold.

I took it from him and looked at the display. I had one unread message.

_We did it! We got already 3 investors! Gabs, we will have our own record label!_

_Xoxo Michael_

Oh my Gosh! They did it! We will have our own record label! OMG!

A huge smile formed on my lips. We're going to have our own record label!

"Why are you smiling?" he asked me.

"Because, pretty boy, my partners and me just got 3 investors!" I said and hugged him.

"Wow that's great!" he said and returned my smile.

"I know, right? Now it's just a couple of months, until we have a building in which artists record songs and albums… It's gonna be awesome!" I said and kissed him.

He smiled after the kiss and brushed through my hair, "I'm happy for you."

A brief silence came over us. A silence of confusion for me. Was I ready to be with him again? To be with him completely? To give everything I have into this relationship? _Again_?

I got my answers from soft kicks, which only I was able to feel. Maybe I was. But I knew that I had to somehow let him be in my life again.

I looked into his eyes, "How did we end up here like this?"

"Well, when someone loves someone they express their feelings in a certain action-"

I hit him softly, "Oh stop it! I didn't mean the… But it is kinda true. Every time we plan to go on a date together, we end up having sex - and we didn't even leave the building."

"Well we did manage to leave your apartment this time." he said before he kissed me. "What did you dream about?" he asked me carefully.

"I dreamed about… you left me again." I said briefly. "You left to go to New York, it was some business trip. Like it always has been for you. You always need to be somewhere. Anywhere but with me."

"But I am here now." he said as he brushed through my black locks. "I am here with you."

"For how long will you stay in Los Angeles until you have to leave for some business meetings?" I asked him and looked away.

He was silent, "Am I that predictable?"

I shrugged, "When it comes to your job, then yeah you are. But when it comes to your private life, no you're not." I turned around to face Los Angeles by night again.

"I will have to go one way or another."

"When?" I asked and started to shiver as I felt the cold breeze, which Los Angeles had hold for me.

"In a couple of days…" he stopped.

"How many days?" I asked him again.

"In three days I have to be in New York."

I nodded, "Three days… For how long?"

"I don't know. I will help out Justine."

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks again. Those hormones are making me crazy!

I sobbed and walked inside. It was getting too cold for me.

He followed me, "Are you mad?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm not mad. How can I be mad at something which I expected? I can't be mad, can I?" I said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Are you sad?"

"No, I am not sad! I am… confused. Confused about how I should feel. I… I don't know what I feel so stop asking me!" I hissed at him. I couldn't control myself. She controlled me. She controlled my feelings, my mood, almost even my words.

"Then why are you crying again?" he asked me in calm voice.

I didn't even feel the tears rolling down my cheeks until he sad so. "I...I don't know!" I yelled at him.

I can't tell him. Not tonight. Not here. Not now. No, he doesn't have to know it yet.

He nodded and turned around, "Come to bed whenever you can control yourself again."

I watched him walking to the bedroom. I felt how every single cell in my body wanted him. I felt how I was getting horny. I felt how the confusion got replaced by lust in my mind. I felt how she took control over me again. And I also felt how I was giving in. Giving into him.

I placed the glass on the table and followed him. "How tired are you?" I whispered in, a sexy voice, into his ear as I reached him.

He stopped walking and turned around, "You know with how much sleep I can live. And I already got the hours I needed." he said before he kissed me.

A part of me enjoyed this. Enjoyed this normality. This almost normal marriage. But then I realized that only one of us is still wearing the wedding rings. And that someone isn't me.

I returned his kiss and brushed through his sandy brown hair. I felt his breath against my skin as he said, "Out of condoms."

I smiled, "Trust me when I say, we don't need condoms."

"You're on the pill again?"

I smiled again and kissed him, "Something like that…"

"Will you tell me the truth someday?" he said and pressed his forehead softly against mine.

"Someday you will know…"

"How bad is it?" he asked me again, this time I sensed worry in his voice.

"Don't you worry…" I said and brushed through his soft hair, "It's one of the good kinds." I added before I pulled him into a kiss filled with passion. A kiss in which we both got lost in. A kiss which would be followed by lots of more.

* * *

**Reviews?**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	18. Maybe New York's just what we need

**18. Maybe New York's just what we need**

_Three weeks later:_

"Do you think there'll be a lot of press?" I heard Sue's voice from my closet.

"Well it's a charity gala for kids with cancer…" I answered as I put mascara on my eyelashes.

"Besides, you've got one superstar next to you!" Ashley said with a smile on her face.

I laughed, "You guys think they will notice anything?"

Both women walked into the bathroom and eyeballed me.

"Show me your profile." Sue ordered. And I did what she said. Then she shook her head, "Nope, they won't see a thing. You picked out the right dress."

"Yeah that green Vera Wang dress suits you." Ashley added with a soft smile on her lips, "Guys, this is amazing…"

Confusion made its' way to my face - just like Sue's. "What is?"

"Well for one thing, we haven't change a bit in those three years. The second thing is that… even though we live in different cities, we're still best friends."

"And the third thing would be?" Sue asked.

"Well that one of us can be pregnant without anyone noticing anything. I mean, if Gabriella didn't tell us that she's pregnant we would have never noticed it, would we? There's life growing inside of her - actual _life._"

We both looked at her strangely, "You got yourself the wrong job, girly." Sue said and placed her hand on Ash's right shoulder, "Should've become a doctor."

"Oh no, I am horrible with blood."

"I can tell ya a story about that one." I said and smiled. Then I placed my hands on my stomach - she was kicking like crazy. My smile got even bigger.

"What?" they both asked me confused.

"Come here and give me each a hand." I said and placed their hands on my stomach. "She's kicking like crazy."

"Oh my Gosh! Do you feel that? I can feel that. It feels amazing, doesn't it? It feels _so_ amazing!" Sue said with a huge smile, "Now I know what you meant, Ash."

"See, I am not talking trash at all." she said and smiled. "You have a name yet?"

I shook my head and felt how she stopped. "Nope, can't seem to find a name that would suit her."

"What about Hilary?"

I shook my head, "Hilary Bolton? Sounds so politically… No, I don't think so."

"Jennifer?"

"You want me to name her after your grandmother? Really, Ash?"

"What it was just a suggestion. Besides, it's a nice name." she said with a smirk on her lips.

"Well her second name has to be Maria."

"Why's that?" Sue asked.

"Family's tradition. Girl's second name always has to be Maria… What was it for boys?" Ashley asked me.

"Gabriel. Weird, huh? Gabriella and Gabriel sound so familiar…"

"I wish I would have such a tradition in my family." Sue said.

"Well you can start with it." I said as I put lipgloss on my lips.

"First I need to find the right guy for me."

"Oh good luck with that…" Ashley said and looked at my shoes, "Those are killer heels, you know that right?"

"What? There're just 8cm high and they're Louboutins! I am not giving up my Louboutins!" I protested. "Anyways, Sue listen to me - and listen closely - you won't find the right one."

"It's true! I mean, look at Gabs: She thought she found the right one with Troy and now look at what it lead to."

"Thanks?" I asked her confused.

"I mean no offense, but your life does seem a little screwed up."

"You wanna know what makes it even more screwed up?"

"What do you mean by that…?" Ashley asked carefully.

"I am sleeping with him."

"And that's so wrong because…?" Sue asked me.

"Because I am sleeping with him. As in using him."

"No…!" Sue said and acted dramatically.

"Yes. I can't help it. Every time he shows up I have this desire for him… She makes me do that."

"Your child?"

"Yes."

"You can't blame her!" Sue said.

"But she does. She is the one who's trying to give him every hint considering my pregnancy possible."

"Oh like what?"

"Like make me throw up when I am around him. Like make me wanna yell at him when he's nice to me. Like make me wanna cry when he's trying to show some kind of affection."

"Are you sure it isn't your heart?"

"Look…" I sighed, "You will know what I mean once you guys will be pregnant. You will know what I mean. It's crazy… crazy good." I said with a smile on my face.

"Where's your loverboy anyways?"

"Guess three times."

"At work?"

"And that's where?"

"London?"

"New York."

"What? And you didn't tell me? I could have… How could you not tell me! I could have caught up with him before my flight!" Sue said, "You're such a cruel bitch."

"See!" I said and pointed at Sue, "If I didn't know it better, I say you are pregnant! Because I know that Sue, our Sue, would never ever say such things. Never. Never ever."

"Oh now come on, Sue's not pregnant… Sue's just-"

"A train wreck because she's having an affair with a married man." Sue confessed and my mouth dropped.

"Affair with a married man? Oh no. Not with me. Not in this house. Don't. Don't do that to me." I answered and looked at her. "You either keep your mouth shut about this subject for the rest of the evening, or I am going to throw you out personally."

"I recommend the mouth-shut-thing." Ashley whispered.

Sue nodded, "I am sorry."

"Not your place to apologize. Try the wife first." I answered as I put my hair up.

"Anyways, topic change: You guys, it's been going really good with Scott and me."

"I noticed." I answered, "And I am happy for you, because _you are not screwing someone's husband._"

"I thought you-"

"I am the wife. I am allowed to do such things."

"You can't really say something to that. We know how much you suffered." Ashley answered.

"Anyways, when does the gala start again?" I asked them.

"In one hour." Sue answered and I nodded.

"You think it'll be weird to talk with donors over the phone?" Ashley asked me.

I shrugged, "You're the superstar in our clique not me. Which means it's only going to be weird for you."

"But you are the wife." Sue added with a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, well I think the press got that we are going our separate ways… or rather were." I answered, "Boy, what am I going to say…?"

"Nothing. You will say absolutely nothing. Just like you said nothing all those months. No comments. No comments at all or the press will eat you alive, got it pregnant woman?" Ashley said to me.

I nodded, "Got it, superstar."

_3 hours later:_

We were having a break from almost 2 hours of non-stop telephoning. So far, we have raised 6,000$ for Kids from Africa. The goal would be about 15,000$, which means a lot of hours of telephoning were ahead of us.

Ashley, Sue and me took a back entrance, that way we avoided the press. Right now, we were sitting on a couch and eating some snacks.

"Okay, girls… weirdest telephone call yet?" I asked them and threw a grape into my mouth.

"Mhm… didn't got any weird calls. Just fans, to be honest." Ashley answered. "You?" she asked Sue.

Sue shook her head, "Nope, no weird call. You?"

"No weird call yet either." I said and saw Miley Cyrus walking to us.

She threw herself next to me and took the grape from me to throw it into her own mouth, "I am exhausted."

"Why's that? We've only been here for two hours." Sue asked her.

"Yeah, but I already had 4 radio interviews, 3 performances and one red eye from New York to LA before _this_."

"Okay… I get why you're exhausted." I answered and yawned.

"Looks like I am not the only one." she said and gave me a look.

"What? I am just tired. Lately I am always tired." I said and yawned again.

"Okay, we have to be back in 5 minutes…" Ashley said with her eyes focused on the watch.

"We need a little motivation here. We're doing this for kids from Africa! Be excited!" Miley said and got up.

"Coming from the girl who's the most exhausted one from all of us."

"At least I am still in a good mood." she said with a soft smile on her face.

"She's right. We're doing this for something good." I said and got up also.

"Listen guys, we should fly over to New York tomorrow. I mean, Sue's going away anyway and we could come with her. We need a little break from everything. And you need to tell a certain someone about certain something." Ashley said to me.

"Fine, we will do that if only you guys get up!"

"What the hell is Ashley talking about?" Miley asked me in whisper tone.

"You will find out soon enough."

_Another two hours later:_

"This one's for you." Ashley said and I looked at her, "The caller on line 4."

"Hello?" I asked the unknown caller.

"Talking to strangers in order to collect money for kids with cancer in Africa, really clever." I heard the familiar voice.

A soft smile formed on my lips, "It's in the middle of the night in New York, isn't it?"

"Oh well… You know that I am still working."

"Then how did you knew I was in LA taking calls from strangers?" I asked him.

"Believe it or not, but I switched on the TV and there you were."

"How's it going with Olivia anyway?"

"Good, but I'm going to stay in New York for a couple more weeks."

I nodded and was silent, "How are you doing?"

"Oh well you know… What about you?"

"The same… Oh that reminds me: Do you still have that nice apartment in New York or…?"

"Yeah, I still have the apartment."

"Really?" I asked him with surprise in my voice. "Must've been weird to come back into the apartment…"

"It kinda felt like going back in time... Anyways, how are you doing in LA?"

I bit on my lip, "Good… I am doing good."

"Then why are you biting on your lip?"

"I am not!"

"Yes you were. I saw it."

"Oh screw you, television!" I said in a whisper tone.

"Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Yes. Everything's okay." I said with a smile on my face. "Everything's fine."

"Okay…" he said, but I knew he didn't believe me.

"Listen, Ashley Sue and me are planing to fly to New York tomorrow or so. Any chance you will get a day off?" I asked him.

"Will you then tell me what's been bothering you for months now?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Maybe…"

"Just text me once you have the details about the plane."

"I will."

"Okay now you better get back to work." he said and hung up.

2 days later, at 5 a.m., I was getting out of the taxi. With a hat on my head and a white scarf around my neck, I payed the taxi driver after he helped me to get out my luggage.

With a small smile on my lips, I walked into the LAX, where I was greeted with lots of paparazzi.

"Gabriella, where are you going?" one of the paparazzi asked me.

"New York."

"Going straight back into the hometown, huh?"

"You got it." I said and walked over to the check-in.

I handed the lady behind the computer my passport. She typed something in and smiled.

"Aisle seat?"

"Doesn't matter." I answered and she nodded.

Seconds later she handed me my passport back. "Have a nice flight, Mrs. Bolton."

With a soft smile on my lips I turned around and walked away.

I got my phone out of my purse and called Ashley.

"Are you already at the airport?" I asked her as she picked up.

"Yup. Sitting at Starbucks."

"I'll be there in a second." I said and walked over to Starbucks.

Ashley was sitting there, drinking her hot coffee. The smell of the coffee made me want to drink coffee myself. "You are drinking coffee." I said as I sat down, "You're such a cruel bitch! I want to drink coffee myself."

"Oh no, you won't even drink a drop of my hot coffee." she answered with a smile on her red colored lips. "You want a tea?"

I shook my head, "Nope… When's the flight again?"

"In 30 minutes… Are you excited to see Troy again?"

I nodded, "I miss him. I really do. I can't really focus on my work, because all I think is about him. Crazy isn't it?"

She nodded, "You still love him, don't you?"

I shrugged, "All I know is that I am falling all over for the man I have fallen in love with 6 years ago. It really is possible, to fall in love with the same man, I mean."

"Will you tell him about… you know what?"

Once again, I shrugged. "Maybe… It depends on how the week is going to go. If it goes well… then yeah I might tell him the news I have inside of me."

"So you're open to tell him, right?"

"Yes… I am."

"Not like one month ago, right?"

I smiled, "Not like one month ago. Sue will pick us up, right?"

"Yeah… It's going to be weird to sleep in your old apartment, isn't it?"

"Yeah… I'm excited to see how to changed, though."

"Have you been in New York this past year anyways?"

"No… I miss the city. What about you?"

"Had some performances in Manhattan, but you know I never really got to see the city. Too much stress…" she explained and I nodded.

"Maybe New York's just what we need."

* * *

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	19. I thought something's changed

**19. I thought something's changed**

I was on the streets of New York. New York in autumn - the golden leaves were falling down and the temperature was cold, too cold for me. I was freezing, even though I was wearing a white coat and boots. The street was filled with people walking, everybody seemed stressed. I missed that feeling. I missed the hectic, the stress… New York.

With a smile on my face I started to walk down the streets of the Upper East Side.

Then I raised my hand to catch a yellow cab. Five cabs stopped immediately.

I got into the nearest yellow car, "Bolton's office please." I said as I closed the cardoor.

"You're Gabriella Bolton, aren't 'cha?" the driver asked me as he drove off.

I nodded, "That's me…"

"Haven't heard from you in a long, long time…"

"What do you mean?"

"The press. They haven't published anything about you since… since months. You vanished, didn't you?" he asked me.

"Well every once in a while we all want to just vanish to think about some things, don't we?"

The next 15 minutes were silent. Then I payed the driver and walked into the enormous gray skyscraper. It felt so good to be back. Just like it always has been - and probably always will be- everyone stared at me like I was some weirdo once I walked in. They also started to whisper… "Is that Gabriella?" "No I can not be her!" "What is she doing here?" "I thought he left her because she betrayed him." "Woah, she even got more beautiful…"

I ran to the closing elevator doors and stopped them. I got into the elevator and pressed the button No. 5. The elevator was pretty crowded, but I couldn't recognize anyone I actually knew. The elevator doors opened and I got pushed in every direction as some employees left the elevator. Then just one woman and me were left in the elevator. And I knew that woman. That dark brown haired woman with those piercy green eyes. That woman was called Ava. Ava Beckson. The enemy.

"Gabriella Bolton? Is that you?"

I turned around, "Ava! Hiiii! How are you?" I asked her.

"Gosh you haven't changed a bit, have you?" she asked as she eyeballed me.

"Neither have you. Still after my husband, I assume." I answered and she looked me into my eyes.

"Well…" the doors opened and I walked out.

"When are you ever going to realize that he will never be with you?" I asked her as the elevator doors closed.

I walked down the big white hallway straight to his office. I couldn't see Sue. She was probably working very hard right now. A red haired woman suddenly appeared from out of nowhere.

"Oh hi!" she red haired woman.

"Hi…" I said, a little bit confused.

"Who are you?" she asked me and then she laughed, "Sorry. I am so stupid. I am Clara. Clara Jefferson."

"Nice to meet you Clara. I am Gabriella."

"Gabriella…That name sounds so familiar... I heard that name before…" she said thinking for a couple of seconds, "Wait, as in Gabriella Bolton?" she asked me shocked. "You _are_ Gabriella Bolton?"

I nodded, "Yes, that would be me." I said with an innocent smile on my lips.

"Wow, well it's pretty akward that I didn't recognize you… I'm new to… well to _all of this_."

"You mean the modeling business, the music industry, the magazine…?"

She nodded, "Yep and a lot more. I'm sure you're here to see Mr. Bolton."

"Yeah, is he in his office?" I asked her.

She nodded, "He should be… You know where is it, don't you?"

I smiled, "I haven't been here since two years, but I think I still remember that…"

"Alright, then have a good day Gabriella."

"You, too Clara." I said with a smile on my face as I walked away. My black Louboutins made that typical click-clack sound as I got closer and closer to his office. My heart started to beat faster also. I was getting excited.

I put my hand on the doorknock and took a deep breath. Maybe I will tell him about my pregnancy today. Maybe I will tell him that I'm in my 25th week. Maybe this week was the right time. Maybe the right time was now. Or maybe… maybe I am just trying to force myself into finally telling him, so I don't have to deal with some nasty yelling once the baby bump gets actually visible.

I opened the door to only see a busy Troy on the phone. He was so busy, that he didn't even notice me walking in. He stared outside the window, which was behind him. His back was facing me, but his sweet voice was ringing in my ears.

"Alright, so I'll see you in two days." Troy said and hung up. He wrote something into his datebook. Then he got out a folder and he wrote something on some papers. "Feel free to say something." he said with a smile on his lips.

I was surprised, "How did you…?"

"I don't have to see you, to know you're there. But you still could've at least called me when you landed, so I could've pick you up." he answered and looked up.

I closed the door behind myself, "Surprise!" I said with an innocent smile on my lips.

He smiled as I walked over to him. I bend down to kiss him, "It's good to see you after 3 weeks…"

He brushed through my black locks, "Yeah it really is…"

"How long do you need to work?" I asked his as I felt his hand on my cheek.

"Well since you didn't tell you'd be coming, I am done exactly…" he said and typed something into the MacBook behind me, "Now."

"Really?" I asked him kind of shocked.

"Yes. I think I can make some time for my wife." he said before he pulled me into a long kiss.

I returned his kiss and brushed through his sandy brown hair. All my sense were active. I didn't only want to kiss him. I needed him. I felt how my heart started to take over my mind. We started to make out. Like old times, like the good old times...

He stopped, "I think we should get home."

I nodded, before I kissed him again, "I missed you."

He smiled, "I missed you more… way more."

Hours later I was standing in front of the mirror in his bathroom. I looked at the profile of my reflection. There was a little belly. I had a little belly, well it looked more like love handles to be honest, but for me… for me it was the first visible sign of my little girl. It was the first sign, which others would see - even though they would think that I got fat, but that doesn't really matter to me.

I smiled, my pregnancy was really visible. You could tell that I will be a big fat pregnant woman in just a couple of months, and you know what? I love it already!

My stomach turned around and I felt a strong need to throw up- _No, please not again_. I thought and held my stomach. And then… then it went away. The vomiting went away. She actually listened to me. My child listened to me. Woah, that would probably be the first and last time she would listen to me.

I smiled at my reflection, I would tell him. That's what I would do. Maybe even now. I could tell him now. Yeah, now's probably a good time. If I won't tell him now, I will never do.

With an attitude full of enthusiasm, I tore the door open. But the smile on my face dropped as soon as I saw the empty apartment in front of me. He was gone. He left.

I was confused. How could he do this? I thought he was done with his work. I thought he…I got my answer from a tiny yellow note. _Needed to go somewhere. I'll be back soon. I promise that it will be today. Your love, Troy._

Where did he need to go? I sighed, brushed through my black locks and walked to my purse. With my blackberry in one and my purse in the other, I walked over to the couch. I sat down and started to dial Ashley's number.

"Oh hi Gabs! How did it go? Did you tell him?"

I sighed, "No… He's gone to somewhere. He left me a note."

"Like that would ever change…"

"Yeah but honestly, I thought it did. I thought something has changed in our relationship. Not neccessarily the distance due to our jobs, but the… the little things, like telling your wife where you're heading to before you actually go there. That would be a start, you know?"

She sighed, "Yeah I know… Listen, do you want to get distracted for a while?"

"What's on your mind?"

"Opera at the Met. I am invited and you're my plus one."

"Sounds good. Which one?"

"Don Carlo. It'll start in 3 hours…"

"I'm already on my way back…" I answered and got off of the couch. I quickly got into my shoes, "What will you wear?"

"I was thinking of that Vera Wang dress we bought together a couple of weeks ago."

"Sounds good. I really like that dress on you." I answered as I closed the front door behind myself.

"What about you?"

I shrugged, "I don't think I have even brought a dress with me… Crap." I answered as the elevator doors opened, "I have to go last minute shopping."

"I'll come with you. We'll meet in front of Vera Wang in… can you make it in 5 minutes?"

"Sure." I said and hung up. I strechted out a hand to catch a yellow cab. As soon as one stopped, I got into it, "991 Madison Ave."

Within 5 minutes I was in front of the store. I watched Ashley coming towards me. She was wearing her favorite black coat with black Louboutin High Heels.

"Okay, so we don't have much time that's why we need to get going." she said as she hugged me. "You really didn't tell him?"

"I really didn't tell him…" I answered as we entered the store.

"Welcome to Vera Wang." an employee said to us, "How can I help you?"

"I am looking for dress to the opera in exactly…"

"3 hours." Ashley said as we both took of our coats. We handed them to another employee.

"So it's kind of a last minute shop." the woman said to us, "I'm Kristin."

"I'm Ashley and this is Gabriella."

"Oh I know who she is…" Kristin said to with a smile on her face, "I've read a lot about you."

I returned her smile. I hoped it were only good things.

"Anyways, which color?"

"Doesn't matter." I answered.

"Strapless?"

"Yeah…"

"Alright, follow me." Kristin said and we followed her to the end of the store.

I saw about twenty beautiful dresses. All strapless, all pompous, all amazing…

"Take a look and call me if you want anything further." she said with a soft smile on her lips before she left us alone.

"Woah…" Ashley said and looked around.

"I know. And I thought the store in London was big…"

"Vera is definitely designing my wedding dress." Ashley said as we both started to take a closer look at the dresses.

"Wedding dress, huh?" I asked her.

"I think Scott might be the one. The man I wanna spend the rest of my life with."

"Well it's pretty vague to say that after only two years of a serious relationship."

"You guys got married after two years of a serious relationship."

"That's different."

"Oh how so, Missy?"

"Well we knew each other for more than 4 years before we actually got serious."

She sighed, "I get your point… But I am still sure about him."

"Let that hear Sue. Ashley Tisdale found the man she wants to marry and she believes that he's the right one for her. Sue's gonna freak out."

"I am not saying that he's perfect or anything. Because obviously he's not. I mean just think about the time he screwed up at Sue's birthday party…"

I laughed, "Yeah he really did…" I said and stopped at the Lana Dress: a Ivory silk geogrette draped sheath with silk faille knot detail at empire bust. "That's perfect." I said and held it in front of me.

She smiled, "Now it just has to fit your pregnant body."

My smile dropped, "Yeah that's just might stop me from buying it."

"Try it on. The only way to find out…" Ashley said and I walked into the changing room.

It fit. It fit perfectly. My pregnant belly wasn't visible. It hid everything perfectly.

I smiled. I found the right dress. The right dress for me.

"And?" Ashley asked me.

"It fits." I answered and opened the door to show her the dress on me.

"It hides everything perfectly…" Ashley said, "Turn around. Let me see if you have an ass in that dress."

I laughed a little and turned around.

"Yep, you still have an ass in that dress. Take it. We need to get going." She ordered, "Oh and by the way, your cell rang. It was Troy."

"Did you pick it up?" I asked her and closed the door again.

"Sure, I mean it was Troy. No business partner or so."

"You told him about the opera?" I asked her as I got out of the dress.

"Yeah…"

"What did he say?"

"He was going to go to the opera with you himself."

"Seriously?" I asked her shocked as I got into my clothes again. That's not like him. We never went to an opera.

"Yeah… that's why he was away. He was getting the tickets and so on."

"Oh crap. He wanted to surprise me!" I said and walked out with the dress in my hands.

"Yeah he really did… And I ruined it. Listen, if you wanna go with him rather than with me then I'll just take Sue with me."

"No… No I want to go with you. Just like old times, you know?"

"You mean when you weren't pregnant, married and famous? And I wasn't in a serious relationship and famous? Yeah, sometimes I do miss those moments…"

"Me, too." I said and hugged her.

"Alright, chop chop! We need to get going!" she said and pointed to the exit.

"Well Mrs. Chop chop, I will have to pay for the dress first." I said and walked to the cashier.

"Okay, that would be 3,546$ in total." Kristin said and I handed her my credit card, "It's a really nice dress…"

"What shoes will you wear to it?" Ashley asked me slowly.

"I brought shoes along with me, don't you worry. I just forgot to bring a dress with me, that's all."

Kristin handed me the bag with the dress in it, "Have fun at the opera."

"Thanks." I said with a smile on my face.

* * *

**Review please :).**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	20. Ready for a change

**New, short, chapter! Enjoy reading.  
****

* * *

20. Ready for a change**

We were in a black mercedes getting closer to The Met.

"On a scale from one to ten, how much press will there be?" I asked the driver.

"About nine… I mean, it's a premiere after all, darling." the driver said and I smiled softly before I looked at Ash. "You heard that? Are you sure, my belly is hidden?"

"Gabriella, stop freaking out about this. No one will notice." Ashley said and held my hand, "You should have already told him anyways."

"Stop torturing me! I know that I should have told him, alright? But I chose not to, since he wasn't even in the same flat as I."

"But you-"

"I couldn't have just called him. And be like: 'Oh and by the way, congratulations you will be a father, for real this time.' I can't just break the news to him like that."

"I know but…"

"There was not a good time yet. Every time I want to tell him, something comes up. This is a sign."

"But-"

"Yes it is! Perhaps, I should keep it to myself, well and to you and my mom… and Sue… and Greg…"

"Gabriella-"

"You have no idea how that feels like, okay? So stop trying to tell me what to do!" I hissed at her.

She was silent, "May I say something now?"

"Go ahead, I've let off my steam. Now it's your turn."

"Finally." she said and sighed, "Listen Gabs, I know this is all hard, but you _need_ to tell him. You need to tell him before the press finds out, because otherwises you guys might break apart for some time again. I mean it, Gabs. He's going to freak out if you're not the one who had told him. He will."

I nodded, "I know… It's just tough."

"We've arrived at your destination, ladies." the driver said.

"You're ready?" Ashley asked me.

I nodded, "No comments will be given."

We got out of the car and were greeted by about 50 photographers. Flashes made me feel sick. The Voices made me wanna yell. The many people made me wanna run away.

But Ashley held my hand. She kept me from doing these things. She kept me going. She made me feel strong, instead of weak.

"Gabriella! Just one second!" "A smile over here!" "This side Mrs. Bolton" "Over here Ladies!" "Just a little smile!"

We walked through the photographers without saying a word, but with a smile on our lips.

As soon as we reached the Met I let go of Ashley's hand and took a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" she asked me concerned.

"No, not really…" I answered honest, "Those crowds outside made me sick. Plus my headache started again…"

"You want to go home?"

"No, we're doing this. We're going to have our Ladies Night."

"We can have it at home. We don't have to-"

"Ashley, no… If we don't do this, we will never." I answered and she nodded.

"You want me to get you something? Pain killers? Water?" she asked me worried.

"No… no pain killers, I try to avoid them as much as possible. They're no good for _us._"

"Well there're a couple of people we will have to catch up with… Can you handle them?"

"Yeah… I'm gonna force myself to put on a big smile and tell everybody that I am feeling fine. In addition I will lie about my marriage- just like a real Bolton has to."

"Explain the last part to me, please."

"Well as a Bolton you never say bad things to other people, expect you're family or best friends."

She looked at me with worry in her eyes, "It's hard to be a Bolton, isn't it? It's not like you imagined it to be, right?"

I shook my head, "I am now in the spotlight. No matter what I do, what I say, how I look like - the press will always know. It's a miracle they don't know about our secret."

She hugged me, "You're going to get through this night, right?"

"You bet I will." I said and we both looked around, "Who do we have to talk to first?"

"That would be me." I heard a voice and we both turned around.

"Ryan? Ryan Evans?" I asked, sounding more shocked than surprised. "Woah, we haven't seen in each other in years!" I said and hugged him. "It's _so_ good to see you! How have you been?" I asked him and he looked at Ashley.

"I'm Ryan Evans."

"Ashley Tisdale, but you better answer her question or she'll get furious." Ashley said with a smile on her lips.

"I've been good. Actually Don Carlo is a production of mine."

"Seriously?" I asked him, "Seriously and you didn't tell me?" I asked Ashley.

She shrugged, "Thought it wasn't important." she said to me, "Sorry…" she apologized to Ryan.

"No problem. Anyways, how have you been Gabriella _Bolton_? I can't believe you're actually married to Troy! That took you what, 5 years?"

"4, but good guess." Ashley whispered to him.

"Anyways, where's your man tonight anyway?" he asked me looking around. Yeah, where was _my man_ tonight? Was he going to attend without me?

"Uhm…" I started, a little speechless.

"I am right here." I heard Troy's voice and felt a kiss on my cheek seconds later. "Sorry, I had some papers to finish at work."

"No problem…" I said, amazed that he made it via the backdoor I assumed.

"Well, I have to go. I just saw Anna Wintour walking in. I have to meet up with my old Boss. It was nice to meet you all. Maybe we can catch up over a coffee some time?"

"Sure…" We both knew it would never happen. That's one of the kind promises you never keep.

"Have a nice evening." Ryan said and walked away.

"Woah, I don't know how you did this, but that was _close._" Ashley said to Troy.

"Yeah, I got a thing for drama, don't I?"

"I thought you wouldn't come…" I said into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I thought you would come with me."

"Sorry, that one is my fault. I didn't know you…"

"It's okay. I bought a plus one along also." he said and I looked at him.

"She better be not hot." I said with serious eyes.

"Oh now don't you worry about me stealing your husband! Besides, I am way better looking than him. And _way older_." Olivia said and I turned around.

"Oh my Gosh!" I said as I hugged her, "I can't seen you in like forever!"

"Try it with 5 months and you're there." she said and hugged Ashley, "It's good to see you also."

"Well now that we're all here, let's get inside." the woman with the blonde locks and the piercy blue eyes said to us.

Ashley and Olivia walked ahead of us. "I can't believe you came…" I whispered to him as he laced his fingers with mine.

"Why not?"

"I just… Is that why you weren't at the apartment earlier?"

"Yeah… and there was an emergency at work."

"What about?"

"I rather not ruin this evening for us."

I stopped walking, "How horrible is it?"

"Worse than you think." he answered looking into my chocolate brown eyes.

I nodded, "Okay… Then enjoy this evening."

"Speaking of which, how about dinner afterwards?"

I was already hungry. "Okay…" I said and smiled.

"I guess we will have our date after all…"

"Seems like it." I said and kissed him softly. A flash appeared and I knew that this picture would be on the cover of some tabloid the upcoming day.

"You just did this on purpose…" he whispered against my lips.

"And that's bad because…?"

He just kissed me. His soft lips connected with mine. "We should do this more often…"

"You mean those events?" I asked him as we continued walking.

"Aren't you up for it?"

"No, I totally am. I was just thinking… it doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" he asked me worried.

I felt kicks inside of me, "Yeah… Everything's okay. Now let's get inside. I bet Ash and Olivia are already waiting for us."

"Oh all they talk about are their boyfriends…" he said annoyed.

I gave him a look, "I used to be one of them."

He kissed me again, "Aren't you glad that you're not one of them anymore?"

With a smile on my lips, we walked hand in hand to Ashley and Olivia. I sat next to Ashley, while Troy sat next to Olivia.

"You told him yet?" Ashley whispered to me.

"No, not yet…"

"Remember what I said…" she sung and looked away.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Troy, who was talking to Olivia. I will tell him. I will tell him tonight after dinner. Tonight will be the night which will change everything.

And I am ready for that change.

* * *

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**


	21. An innocent girl

**21. An innocent girl**

"This was nice, wasn't it?" Olivia asked us as we were walking out of the Met. It was a beautiful night with stars and the moon shining down to us.

I nodded, "I enjoyed it very much."

"It was boring! Come on, you guys. This was just boring! I could've stand on stage with my hands cuffed, my mouth full of donuts and that would have been more action!" Ashley said and we all stared at her.

"You're right…" Olivia agreed.

"It was horrible…" Troy added.

"I fell asleep." I confessed and the Bolton siblings looked at me, "I was tired, okay?"

"Don't worry, no one noticed. I woke her up before it finished." Ashley ensured them.

"Do you still wanna go to dinner now?" Troy asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah… I am starving!"

"Okay, then we better hurry up. I got a table reserved for 8 o'clock." Troy said with a smile on his lips.

"You planned all of this, didn't you?" I asked him and looked at Ash.

She shrugged, "Maybe he did… I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a nice evening you two." Olivia said with a soft smile on her lips.

"You too." Troy said as we walked our separate ways.

"Troy Bolton, you are full of surprises." I said as we walked down the streets of New York. We were the only persons in 200 meters. The streets were completely empty. It was wasn't the New York I used to know.

"Yeah, I tend to make surprises a lot, don't I?"

"And every now and then they're just right… How long do we need to walk?" I asked him since my feet were killing me right now. Ashley had been right, I shouldn't have chosen the black Louboutins. I should have taken the Blahnik's instead, they're more comfortable.

"Just a couple more minutes… We're almost there."

"Good, because my feet are killing me right now." I confessed and he looked at me.

"Well I have a solution for that…"

"What…?"

I got my answer when he picked me up. He started to carry me through the streets bridal style. "Let me down!"

"Why? Your feet hurt…"

"What if anyone sees us?"

"So what? Besides, there's no soul in at least 200 meters… Besides, we're almost there."

I laughed, "You are crazy."

He looked into my soft brown eyes, "Then so be it."

After about 3 minutes he finally let me down. "Okay the last 5 meters you will have to go by yourself."

I smiled and pulled him into a long, passionate kiss. "Thank you."

"If I get a kiss like that every time I do such things then-" I interrupted him with another kiss. This time he did kiss back and I felt how our child changed my mood for happy into lustful again. We started to make out again.

He stopped and placed his forehead against mine, "Let's go inside…"

I nodded and heard my stomach growl, "Yeah, we better get inside." I agreed with him.

We were surrounded by couples having dinner in this beautiful restaurant. In the front of the restaurant was a family of 5 members: a mother, a father, two girls and one boy. The boy was the oldest child, about 10. The blonde girl was about 8 and the small brunette girl was only 5. Each child was like a picture of one of the parents.

I smiled, one day I would have the same family. Well not necessarily a family consisting of 3 childs, but yeah… a family.

"What would you like to eat tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Bolton?" the waiter asked me. He ripped me out of my day dream.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked the dark haired waiter as I looked at him.

"Your order, please?"

"Oh right yeah… sorry." I apologized and looked at the card, "Uhm… I'd like the tomato pasta and the shrimp salad." I answered and looked at Troy.

"A steak for me." he said with a soft smile on his lips.

"What would you like to drink?"

"Chateau Lafite 1787, please." Troy ordered for us.

"And a glass of water for me." I said with a little smile on my face.

"Your dinners will be done in a couple of minutes." the waiter said and walked away.

"You chose water over a Chateau Lafite 1787." Troy noticed shocked. "Water, really?"

"Yeah, I choose water over a 160.000$ wine." I said with serious eyes.

"Are you-"

"No I am not mad!" I hissed at him, "I am just… whatever, it doesn't matter." I said and rolled my eyes.

"Oh boy, you're having one of these days…"

"What days?" I asked him in a whisper tone.

"You're mad at me for whatever reason. And I know that I can't make it up to you, because there's no reason for what you're mad for."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing… Just forget it, okay?"

"Fine." I answered and saw that our drinks were being served. "Thanks."

Suddenly I heard a noise and my head moved automatically into the direction the noise was coming from. There something going on outside of the restaurant. There was some argument between two groups of guys. Somehow I had a feeling there was something bad going to happen. Something horrible to be exact.

"What?" Troy asked me and I looked away.

"Nothing… I just thought… it doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" he asked me as I turned around to look outside again. The two groups were still there.

"Yeah… everything's fine." I said and nodded. Then there was this noise again. I felt like I was the only one hearing this noise. My head moved to the window again.

The argument seemed to get bigger, because now the two crowds were hitting each other.

Someone from the restaurant walked outside and asked the crowds to walk away. Both crowds didn't seem to care. The member of the restaurant tried it again and this time they did seem to notice him, because they started to yell at him. The member tried to calm them down, he asked them to remove from the restaurant but they didn't move an inch.

And then when it happen. A guy from the crowd took a gun out of his pocket and started to aim for someone. No one in the restaurant seemed to care. No one but me.

My eyes moved to the human being he was aiming for. It was the little girl of the family. But the family didn't notice anything. The woman was arguing with her husband. The little boy was arguing with his little blonde sister and the youngest family member was running around smiling. This was an innocent girl. An innocent little girl. A beautiful innocent girl.

The man was still aiming at little brunette girl. The he pulled the trigger and I ran.

"NO!" I yelled and threw myself in front of the little brunette girl.

I felt the bullet making its' way into my chest.

"Gabriella!" I heared Troy's voice in my ears.

I felt how the blood was flowing out of me. I felt how the pain was becoming unbearable.

I saw my husband's face and smiled, it was a weak smile though. "Hey…"

"It's gonna be okay. You're going to be fine. Don't worry, I already called an ambulance. They'll be here in just a second. All you need to do is survive those seconds until they're here, alright?" he asked me as he stroke through my hair.

I smiled as good as I can, "I am fine…" His hand was bloody. Why was his hand so bloody? There was no pain in my head. Why was his hand so bloody then? "Why is your hand bloody?" I asked him and felt how it was getting harder to breathe for me. I also felt how my lungs were filling up with… blood I guess. I felt how the air was getting thinner and thinner for me. I started to contend for air. Everything started to move in slow motion. I felt how I started to feel exhausted. I felt how my body was giving up…

This could be the end for me. I heard how death knocked on my door and, as stupid as I am, I opened the door with a big smile on my face. I let it in without any hestitation.

"Troy?" I asked him as I saw the worry in his eyes.

"Yes, honey?"

"I am…" I said, now fighting harder for air, "I am preg-"

Everything went black then. All the faces, all the voices, all the smells… everything was gone.

* * *

**Hope you like that chapter. Please review :)**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	22. It's your choice

**22. It's your choice**

I heard a peeping tone. There was just this peeping tone, nothing more. There was no other noise. There was just silence. My eyes slowly fluttered open and I recognized where I was. I was at the hospital. I was in a hospital room. In a hospital in… Was I still in New York? I looked around and saw Troy sleeping in a navy blue armchair. He was sleeping peacefully. What happened? Why was I here? And why was my head hurting _so_ much?

I sighed and took a sip of my water. Suddenly I remembered what happened. I threw myself in front of a little girl. I got shot. I got shot… Oh my Gosh, I got shot!

My hands moved down to my stomach. What about the baby? The baby was alright, wasn't she? I was still pregnant, wasn't I? There was a belly. The belly was still there. I was still pregnant… right? She was doing okay, wasn't she? I needed to know if she was doing okay.

I slowly got out of the bed, with my eyes focused on Troy. I didn't want him to wake up. I saw clothes of mine laying in the room. I saw slippers on the floor. I saw flowers on the nightstands. I saw 'Get well soon' cards along with chocolate… It all looked like I have been here for days. Have I been here for days? I needed some facts. I needed the truth. And I needed it now.

I got into the slippers and walked out of the room. In the hallway of the hospital I found a name: Presbyterian Hospital, Weill Cornell. I was still in New York.

I walked over to a group of nurses.

"Honey, what's wrong?" a nurse asked me.

"Hi, uhm… could you give me some information about my condition?" I asked a blond nurse. Her name was Nancy.

"Sure, just give me your name."

"Gabriella Maria Bolton." I answered and her face went blank for a second.

"One second please, Mrs. Bolton…" she said and looked for my chart.

Why was she shocked when she heard my name? How bad was my condition? I mean, it couldn't be that bad, since I could walk… right?

Minutes later she found my chart and took a look at it. "You should talk to a doctor…"

"Am I still pregnant?" I asked her.

"I'm gonna call you a doctor."

"Is that a no?" I asked her shocked. No! I cannot not be pregnant! I was going to have this child! This child… I can't lose another baby. Not another one.

"The doctor will be with you in just a second." Nancy answered and smiled.

"Thanks, Nancy…" I answered like I was in trance.

I sat down on a chair and waited for the doctor to come. Minutes passed and no one appeared. I sighed and ran through my hair. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't have lost my child. This is my child! My child! And just because I had to save another child's live I had to lose mine now? No, that's not fair!

"Mrs. Bolton?" someone asked me and I looked up. It was the doctor.

"Call me Gabriella."

"Gabriella it is. I am Tim." he said with a soft smile on his lips.

"Doc, what's wrong with me?"

"Well… let's take a look at your chart." Tim said and looked at my chart, "You had several internal bleedings, but we took care of that. You suffered-"

"But that's not what I want to know! What I want to know is… am I still pregnant? Have I lost my child?"

He smiled and took my hand, "Don't you worry about the little the girl inside of you. She's more than fine. Somehow, and we all wonder why, she hasn't suffered anything. Not even a bruise. Nothing. She is fine."

I felt the tears rolling down my face and hugged him, "Oh thank you! Thank you so much!"

"No problem. Now back to you-"

"I don't want to know anything about me. It isn't important."

"Yes it is. You have been in a coma."

"A what?" I asked him shocked. A coma? I fell into a coma? Well I guess that's what you get for saving an innocent girl's life.

"You suffered cerebral hermorrhage, which caused the coma. Don't worry, everything's okay now. The floor was just a little too hard for your head."

"Okay… How long have I been in that… that coma?"

"A week."

"A week?"

"Well actually 6 days and 20 hours, but you could call it a week. You were unable to breath on your own for 2 days, we had to intubate."

I thought of Troy. Those two days must've been hell on earth for him. Those days must've been simply terrible.

"But other than that I am alright...right?"

He nodded, "Well we got the bullet out of your shoulder...Other than that you are fine."

"What have you told my husband?"

"Just something about your cerebral hermorrhage…"

"So nothing about the pregnancy?"

"No nothing about it. Dr. Montgomery called me as soon as she heard and told me to not mention anything about the pregnancy."

"Addision called?"

He nodded, "Yes, she sounded so concerned… She actually wanted to come."

"Oh no. There's no need for her to come. Listen, when will I be able to check out?"

"Well I suggest you stay at least one night so we can make sure you're okay. Make sure you sleep a lot, alright?"

I nodded, "Okay. Thanks." I said and got up.

Troy was still sleeping in the armchair and I smiled softly. I walked over to him and brushed through his sandy brown hair. The last days must've been hell for him.

I walked back into my room and slowly got into my bed. I could sleep now, because I knew that she was fine. That was all what matters.

Then I took a sip of my water and closed my eyes to sleep a little bit.

The sunlight shining on my eyelids woke me up. I heard the sound of someone typing something into a computer. My eyes opened and I looked to my left side. Troy was working from the hospital. Has he been working the whole week at the hospital?

"You should be working in your office and not here." I said in a broken voice with a soft smile on my lips.

He looked up, with surprise in his eyes, put the MacBook Air away and nearly ran over to me. "You're okay…" he said and kissed me.

"Of course I am okay. "

He brushed through my black locks and hugged me, "It looked pretty bad for you for some time…"

"But I am fine now." I said and saw the tears in his eyes. I kissed him again, "I wouldn't leave you just like that."

Without any words, he hugged me again - tighter this time. I felt soft kicks inside of me- it was the first time I have felt her since I woke up. I smiled, we were going to be okay. All of us. This whole family.

It didn't seem like he noticed anything. "How could you scare me just like that? What have you thought when you… How could you do this to me?" he asked me and I wiped away his tears. "You scared to me death, Gabs."

"She was just a little girl. A five year old brunette girl. I couldn't let her die. I _had_ to protect her. I had to, Troy. She was just an innocent girl…" I said and felt the tears rolling down, "But I am sorry for scaring you to death- that wasn't a part of my genius plan." I answered and he laughed a little. My head hurt _so_ badly.

He was silent. He just scanned my face and fondled my cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts _so_ badly."

"You want me to get you someth-"

"No, not it's okay… It's just pain. Besides, it's not so bad that I can't talk to you. It gets better." I answered.

He eyeballed me, "You don't look like you're okay."

"But I am." I lied to his face.

"I think I should get you some morphine…"

"I don't need any of it! I am fine."

He just sat across me. Without any words. He just started at me, eyeballed every inch of me like he was memorizing me. Like this would be the last time we would see each other. And then… Then he kissed me again.

"I'm so glad you're alright…" he whispered into my ear.

"Me, too." I answered and he kissed my hair. "Have you been here all the time?"

He nodded, "Pretty much yeah."

"You worked from here?"

"Yeah… I mean, I can't sleep anyway and I can't concentrate on work because, well because you have been laying here and I… I can't think about everything but to make sure you're okay. I needed to know you're okay. And in order to be updated if anything happens, I stayed here. I stayed here with you. I needed to be with you." he said and stroke through my hair.

I smiled, "I am okay, Troy."

"You better! Because I don't plan to continue this live without you by my side." he said before he kissed my forehead. "Before you… you lost consciousness, you… you wanted to tell me something. What was that?" he asked me slowly.

I took a deep breath, "Hand me my purse." I said and he picked up my black Chanel purse from the floor to hand it over to me.

I looked for the maternity card. I couldn't find it. Why couldn't I-

Oh right the doctor must've taken it. They needed it.

"What are you looking for?"

"Nothing… It's not in it."

"What is not in it?"

"My… It doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" he asked me worried.

"Yes." I said and got my cellphone out of my Chanel purse. I had six missed calls. I quickly scrolled over the names and stopped at one name in particular: Ellen DeGeneres. What did she want? The call was on the night at the opera… Why didn't I hear my cellphone?

Then I remembered. I switched it off and didn't switch it on afterwards. I pressed number one on my cell to listen to her voice mail.

_"Hi Gabriella, this is Ellen. Listen, I heard some rumors about you opening up a record label. I would like to talk to you about that among other things in my show. It will be good publicity. Plus, I really missed you. It's been a while since we talked. If you don't want to go public, we could meet up at my house to catch up._

_Alright, call me back."_

Yeah, that conversation was clearly recorded _before_ my accident. Definitely.

Troy stared at me.

"What?" I asked him confused.

"Why won't you tell me what's bothering you for months?" he asked me slowly and worried.

I sighed, "It's not the right time…"

"When will there be a right time?" he asked me. "Why not now?"

I shook my head, "I can't tell you now. I can't tell you in this environment."

"But you will tell me, won't you?"

I nodded, "I will tell you… But if I tell you then… then you will probably kill me after what I did." I answered with a laugh.

He was silent. "Are you… I mean have you… Well are you… in love with another one?"

"Well I love Ashley, Sue, my mom, Lauren, Christina-"

"That's not what I meant!"

"Oh then what did you mean?" I asked him, playing dumb.

"Oh don't make me say it!" he said and rolled his eyes, "Are you in love with another man, Gabriella? Are you planning to break his _this_ off? Do you still want a divorce?"

I shook my head, "No I do not want to be divorced. I am glad that you ripped the divorce papers apart, to be honest."

He was silent. Then he looked at me. "Is it going to change a lot?"

I nodded, "It will change everything, but I don't want to talk about it." I answered and he nodded.

"When will you be able to check out?" he asked me.

"Well I was awake for a time…-"

"I know."

"You _know_?"

"Yeah, I heard you waking up. But I wasn't sure. I was actually too tired to make any noise."

"You're so mean!"

"No I am not."

"Whatever. Anyways, the doctor said that I'll be able to go home by tomorrow."

He smiled. "That's a good sign."

"It is. What time is it anyway?" I asked him and he looked at his watch.

"One p.m." he said.

"Okay, I'm gonna call Ash-" I was interrupted by the opening door.

"Gabriella you're awake!" Ashley said and ran over to me. She hugged me very tightly, "Thank God, you're awake. You are okay, aren't you?"

"I was just going to call you. I thought-"

"Of course I am still in New York. There's no way I am leaving New York without you beside me. Even Scott is here! You got him worried also."

"Scott's here?"

She nodded, "I swear you guys have some twisted connection."

"Speaking of leaving New York, I thought you might wanna spend some days here...with me." Troy said and I looked at him.

I was silent. Stay here. In New York. Not in LA, but in New York… with him. I thought about my next appointment with Addison… The next appointment should be now that I have spend a week in the hospital in about 3 weeks. Yeah, about 3 weeks… I think. Not less than 3 weeks but maybe even more, I would know if I had my maternity card… Wait, I can text Addison! Yeah, I can text Addison.

"Listen, you don't have to decide anything yet." Troy answered in a calm voice.

I looked at Ash. She shrugged, "Fine with me. I just need to know you're okay."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Troy nearly yelled at her.

"You know exactly what that means." she said with icy eyes.

I was confused. "What happened? Why are you both suddenly hating each other?"

Ashley stared at him, "You want to tell her or shall I?"

"Tell me what?" I asked them.

Troy was silent. "What is going on?" I asked the both humans next to me.

There was a silence. A long silence filled the room.

"I don't want to tell her now. She… she doesn't need the stress now." Troy explained while my confusion grew instantly.

Ashley looked at me, "Have you…?"

"No."

She nodded and then faced my husband.

"Either way one of you tell me now what's going on or else I will-"

Ashley held up a magazine and I rolled my eyes, "Another one? Please! They all just publish lies."

"No, you don't understand…"

"What is there to understand?" I asked her as she handed me the magazine.

"Page 25." Ashley said with a blink.

I opened the magazine on page 25. It was a double page with the headline "Is Bolton losing everything now? - From his wife to his job!"

I looked at Troy, "Explain." I said and pointed at the headline.

He was silent and I looked at Ash. She got up, "I'm gonna go. But I'll be back."

I smiled softly, "Thanks."

"Oh yeah, I don't think you will be thanking me after you heard what happened." she said and walked out of the room.

"I am going to give you exactly one more chance to explain this to me before I am going to read this article. I rather hear it from you than from some newspaper, but it's your choice."

* * *

**A new chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**Please review :).**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	23. I choose you over work

**23. I choose you over work**

He was silent. His eyes were focused on the floor. Why couldn't he face? What could so that horrible, that he can't even face?

"Troy… talk to me." I started slowly.

"Now you are going to kill me." he said and I looked up.

"Did you… cheat on me again?" I asked him with thousands of conclusions making its way into my head.

"No! You are the only one for me. The only one." he said and looked up.

My eyes connected with his. His eyes were guilty. There was plenty of guilt in his eyes. "What did you do, Troy?"

"I… I don't know how to say this to not hurt you."

"What's going on? Tell me…"

"Well I didn't only came to America for you… I… You see there're some problems we have had with the company."

"Problems?"

He nodded, "Yeah that's why I am in New York right now. I am doing the best I can, but it's not going to be enough to… to save the company. Whatever I do, it will not be enough."

"Why...What… How…" I was confused.

"Bolton's getting sued."

"What?"

"We're getting sued in several aspects and there's no way we're going to save anything."

"Why not?"

"Because… we're getting sued for over 20 billion Dollars."

"What? What for? I mean that's…"

"Copyrights mainly."

"But… why so much then?"

"The songs got sold very well and...In the end those songs are worth more than 20 billion Dollars."

"But can't you… can't you just I don't know make money and then just pay for the songs?"

"It's not about the money. It's a question whether it is worth or not."

"Why shouldn't it be worth it? It is your company. It has been in your family since ever."

"It's not worth to fight for it anymore. I can't take this all by myself."

"You have Olivia."

"It's not enough. Our employees quit, our magazine is late, there's almost no studio which is filled with an artist recording… There's no point in trying to save this company. Our Investors took all the money away from us."

"But..._really_? You love this company! You can not give up on something you love."

"Either I fight for this company 24/7 or I am going to be with you. Because if I will start to fight for it, then there'll be months of working the night through…"

"How many months?"

He shrugged, "It could be years."

"Years…" I echoed. "You want to save the company?"

He shrugged, "It's been in my family for years, but maybe that's the end now. An end for good. What shall I do?"

I shrugged, "I don't know Troy. Do what your heart tells you. Listen to your heart..."

He brushed through his sandy brown hair with a long sigh, "I have been fighting for this company for the last 2 years… And I can't do it anymore. I just can't. I'm gonna have to close it."

"Have you thought it through? Really through?"

"What, are you saying that I should try to save it?"

"I am not saying anything. All I want you to do is think it through. With every pro and contra argument. You have to be sure before you make such a life changing decision. It's not only the employees you have to think about, you will loose your job either."

"I got an offer for a job in Los Angeles."

"In California?"

He nodded, "As the chief of Sony Music Entertainment. I'm not gonna earn as much money as I have with Bolton's, but it's going to be enough for us."

"And now don't you forget that my earnings are pretty good also."

"How could I forget? Grammy winner." he said and kissed me.

I scanned his eyes, "You really want to close Bolton's?" I asked him and he took my hands.

"I rather choose you over my work. So yeah, I want to close Bolton's if that means that I can be with you."

"Troy, there's something you should know…" I said and took a deep breath. "Well, you and I aren't going to be just you and I…"

"What do you mean by that?" he asked me confused.

"Well I am… I am p-" the door interrupted our conversation.

"You got me worried. You scared the hell out of me!" I said and saw Sue running in. She hugged me and brushed through my black locks, "Don't you ever scare me in that way again. Do you hear me?"

"Yes Mom, I understand everything clearly." I said and smiled.

"Listen, when are you able to get out? I have _so much_ to tell you. _So _ much." she said with a bright smile on her lips.

"Has it something to do with that affair of yours?" I asked her.

She shook her head, "Nope, that's history."

"What a week can change…" I mumbled to myself. "Did you see Ashley?"

"Ash's here?"

"I assume in the cafeteria…." Troy answered.

"Or the giftshop." I said with a smile on my lips.

"Alright, I'm gonna look for Ash you guys finish your conversation, which I interrupted." Sue said and looked at me. Her eyes looked for sparkles in my eyes. She started to look for what I would tell him.

I nodded, "Thanks." She hugged me again, "Oh and bring me a cup of-"

"Hot tea it is." Sue answered and looked Troy, "Coffee for you?"

He nodded, "You just know me too well…"

She got up and left the hospital room.

"What about her? What about Sue? "

"She has a job in Washington."

"But why does she still live here then?" I asked him confused.

"Because they company she is working for is planing to open another company here in Manhattan."

"So her job's safe."

"Her job is safe for now, yes." He said and looked at me again, "There is no right time to tell me whatever you want to tell me, right? Every time you start, we get interrupted, don't we?"

"I will tell you once we're at the apartment." I said and kissed him, "I promise that no one and nothing will interrupt us there." I said before he kissed me.

* * *

**A short, but new chapter. Enjoy reading and please review.**

**The next chapter will be awesome, I promise  
**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	24. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's

**24. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference**

_Three days later:_

I was wondering if telling him was the right decision. Laying in that horrible bed in the hospital made me think a lot - at night mainly when Troy was gone. He had somehow changed, I could see that. I could see the effort he was putting into this relationship... into this marriage. But I was wondering for how long this change would last. I didn't want to wake up someday with a child in one room and a cheating husband next to me. Neither did I want to wake up in an empty bed. I was trapped. Trapped into making a decision.

But suddenly, everything was so clear to me.

I knocked on the dark wooden door in front of me. I had to knock three times until it got opened. It was a cloudy day in New York, just like I felt.

"Gabriella…" I heard the familiar voice and I walked in.

"I'm gonna do this." I answered as I got off my coat.

"Do what?" the man asked me as he put the coat on the coat hook.

"I'm gonna do it tonight." I said again as I got out of my UGGs.

"Do what, Gabs?" he asked me again and I just stared into his blue eyes.

"It's the right decision." I said into his eyes before I walked into the living room.

"You're making no sense to me." he mumbled as he walked into the kitchen.

I sat down on the dark red couch and stared at the fireplace. I watched the fire and heard mumbles behind me.

"You have to deal with her. You're her twisted sister, not me. She doesn't make any sense to me." Scott whispered.

"What has she said?" I heard Ashley's voice asking.

"I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do it tonight." he said and took a deep breath, "What the hell does she mean by that?"

"That she's gonna do it tonight." Her voice followed footsteps.

"Do what?" Scott asked in a loud voice.

I kept my mouth shut. I'm gonna do it tonight. I can do it tonight. I have to do it tonight. Otherwise I won't do it. Not in the next days and not ever. I have to do it tonight. I need to do it tonight. It's the right decision. The right time. The right place. I have to do it tonight, don't I?

Ashley sat next to me with a big bright smile on her face, "You're gonna do it tonight?"

"I'm gonna do it tonight." I said still looking at the fireplace.

"Then why are you here?" she asked me carefully.

I looked at her, "Because I am scared."

She hugged me, "What are you afraid of? There's nothing you should be afraid of."

"I know, it's just… It will change everything."

She nodded, "That's why you need to tell him. You are ready to tell him, aren't you?"

"I… I think I am."

"Do you trust him again?"

"No."

"Do you care about him?"

"No."

"Then why do you want to tell him?"

"Because I still love him." I said with tears forming in my eyes. "I still need him. I don't want him to go, but at the same time I need him to go."

"Your life sucks." Scott said and we both looked at him, "What? Just saying."

"We know that, Scott!" Ashley said with a sharp tone in her voice.

"Are you… Are you mad at me? I only said the truth." he said to her.

"Scott why don't you go into the kitchen?" I asked, knowing Ashley would freak out any second.

"But-"

"Go into the kitchen. Trust me. Just go." I convinced him with a smile on my face.

"Only because of you, Gabs." he said and walked into the kitchen.

"He can be a pain in the ass." Ashley said while she watched him walking into the kitchen.

"Just like you, honey!" he repeated from the kitchen.

She turned her dark brown locks to me again, "How are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know yet."

"Well do you know where?"

"At our apartment. He's in a finale meeting right now, discussing about the future of Bolton's. He said it wouldn't last long. I will tell him. It will be good for us."

"There's an us now?" she asked me surprised. "I mean, I know that you guys were getting close again and you're like _really_ bonding and stuff but… Are you ready for you guys to be an us again? I mean, really ready?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I think so… I think there might be an us again. But an us as a family. Hopefully not a broken family." I answered and felt the kicks of our daughter inside of me.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked me confused.

"She's kicking like crazy right now." I answered as the smile on my face got bigger.

"Really? I wanna feel it." she said and put her hands on my bump. "Wow, you got one hell of a bump!"

"Well in my 25th week my bump should already be twice its' size."

"Really?" she asked me amazed, "I mean this _is_ a baby bump, no doubt. You can tell that your pregnant."

"The paparazzi certainly can't… yet."

"That's good."

"Yeah, it is…" I agreed with her. I started to smile as I felt the kicks again.

As if she knew that Ashley's hand was there she kicked against it. With all her strength she kicked again my stomach. It felt weird and amazing at the same time.

"Oh my gosh! I can feel it. I can feel her!" Ashley said amazed, "She's still kicking right?"

"Yep, she's still kicking." I answered with a smile on my face.

"This is amazing… And you feel that all the time?" she asked me, still amazed.

"I do… And believe me when I say there will be a time when those kicks will hurt. Actually hurt." I answered and she nodded.

"Scott! Get your butt over here and feel that!" Ashley yelled and Scott ran inside.

"What? What's wrong? Are you okay, Gabs?" he asked in panic.

"Oh give me your hand!" Ashley said and took her hand to replace it with hers.

But my daughter stopped kicking the second Ashley's hand was gone.

"Do you feel that?" Ashley asked him amazed.

"No, nothing…" he answered a litte bit disappointed.

"She stopped." I explained to Ash, "Better luck next time, Scott."

Scott looked disappointed, then he moved his face to my belly and spoke directly with little Bolton, "I will love you either way, mini Bolton. And you will pay for that. Don't you worry, I won't forget what you did in your- in which week are you?" Scott asked me.

"25th." Ashley and me answered at the same time.

"In your 25th week. Yeah, that's right I know exactly how old you are." he finished and Ashley and me both burst out of laughter.

"You're crazy!" I said with a smile on my face, "Hear that, _mini Bolton_, you have crazy godparents!" I said with both hands on my bump.

"Godparents?" Ashley asked me surprised.

"You want _us_ to be godparents?" Scott asked even more surprised.

"Well who else would I give my child to ,if anything happens, if not you guys?" I asked them.

"Godparents… You hear that?" He asked Ashley.

"Well now don't you get the idea of bringing children in the world." she said and he rolled his eyes.

"We still have time for that." he said before he kissed her.

"So how's your relationship with Troy now?" Ashley asked me.

"Uhm… I can't really let him in." I said honest.

"That's my cue for going away…" Scott said and left us alone again.

"I promise it'll be just a couple more minutes." I said with a soft smile on my face.

"Hey, stay as long as you want. We're like family here. You don't bother me. You don't bother us. But I think you need your best friend for those kind of talks… You know that you can always come to us, right?" Scott said after he turned around and hugged me, "We're always here for you."

I felt the tears building up in my eyes.

"Aww, look what you did! She's crying!" Ashley said to him. "Good job, heartbreaker."

I laughed, "It's just… so touching. My hormones are going crazy and I can cry at the nicest thing you say to me, just like I could start yelling right now because I have pyrosis right now!" I said in a sharp tone. "Sorry…" I apologized as both gave me a weird look.

"It's okay… But I still will go. Enjoy your talk." Scott said and walked up the stairs.

"Okay, so now what is really going on between you two?" she asked me as he was gone.

"Ash, I sleep with him."

"Ahh! That's good! I mean, is it good, right?" she asked me.

I shrugged, "Dunno. Maybe. I mean, I still love him. And I sleep with him. Is it bad to sleep with your husband, who you love and who got you pregnant?"

She shook her head, "No, not at all." she said and hugged me. "Have you told him you love him?"

"No… not yet."

"But you will, right?"

"You think I should do that _before_ I tell him he's going to be a father or _after_ that?"

"Say it before if you really mean it. Say it after if you're still unsure about that feeling." she answered after thinking.

I smiled and got up, "Alright I'm gonna head home…"

"Have we even helped you in any way?" Scott asked me and I turned around to see him standing upstairs.

"How long have you been listening?" I asked him as he walked down the stairs again,

"It's nice to know that pregnant women still have sex." he said and I hit him.

"Just you wait until Ash's knocked up… Just you wait." I said and he hugged me playfully.

"You're okay right?" he asked me worried.

"Yep, Daddy your little girl's just fine." I said and we both laughed.

"Seriously, if I didn't knew it better I would say you two found each other. Not as a lovers, but as siblings." Ashley said and shook her head.

"Well we do have that connection, don't we Gabs?"

"For what it's worth you're the very first boyfriend I am getting along just fine."

"Now don't you remind me of Josh!" Ashley said, rolling her eyes.

"Wasn't even my intention. I was just making the point, that you guys are perfect for each other." I said to her and then looked at him, "I mean it."

I got into my boots and closed up the buttons of my black coat.

"Drive safely!" they both said in choir as I walked out of their house again.

I got surprised by waiting paparazzi in front of the house. 5 of them were taking pictures of me. 2 were filming.

The flashing lights caused a headache and the many people caused a vertigo. I didn't like them and neither did _mini Bolton_, as Scott called her. I tried to make my way to my car as fast as possible. I got into the driver's seat and drove off. On the way home my headache went away and the vertigo seemed to disappear also.

25 minutes later I was in front of our apartment door on the Upper East Side.

"I can do this. You have to tell him sometime. This is the right decision. Tell him. Tell him today. Tell him now." I said to myself and opened the door.

What I saw made my heart jump. Our whole apartment was filled with white candles along with red rose petals. And it wasn't only decorated beautifully, it was also cleaned up. I felt near to tears as I closed the door.

I slowly followed the path made from the rose petals. He really was trying to make up to me. He did this for me.

The path ended at a table set for two. There were two thin long candles in the middle of the round table and there was a dark red tablecloth matching the petals. But around this wonderful table was no Troy. He was anywhere but here, so I decided to walk into the kitchen. I leaned against the door frame as I watched my husband at the cooker. He didn't even hear me coming home and he certainly didn't see me standing in the door frame.

Suddenly I felt a soft kick in my stomach, which caused me to smile. I will tell him tonight. It's what she wants me to do. And that's all what matters.

He was baking something in the oven that smelled like lasagna. And the lasagna had been just put in as I saw. His back was turned to me, so I only saw him cutting some vegetables for a salad. I started to wonder how long it would take until he will realize that I am standing in the door frame, watching him.

Minutes later I felt my hurting feet so I decided to make myself noticeable.

"Are you done over there yet?" I asked him.

"Yes just give me a sec-" he stopped talking and turned around, "Gabriella…" that was all he managed to breathe out.

I moved from the door frame over to the island in the middle of the kitchen, on my way I took a chair so I could sit down because my feet were killing me.

"You're here early."

"You mean too early."

"Yes, I mean too early." he repeated me, still speechless.

"What is all this?" I asked him and looked around.

"Well since you had to stay longer at the hospital than we thought, I thought I surprise you when you come home."

"With this?" I asked him with a smirk on my lips. I don't know why but suddenly I thought the idea was awful. The smell started to make me sick.

He looked at me confused. "Yes... Are you feeling okay? You look a little pale."

"Pale? I don't look pale." I answered.

"You do." he insisted.

"How was your meeting?" I asked him, changing the subject.

"Well it was... you know we... somehow..."

"Why are you struggling with your words, Troy?" I asked him suspiciously.

"N-no r-reason."

"You've never been a good liar. Not when it comes to your work, anyway." I answered. "And now please the truth."

"We're going to sell the company."

"Sell it? WHO wants to buy it? What idiot would buy a sued company?" I asked him shocked.

"Well thank you." he said with a little bit of hurt in his crystal blue eyes.

"What? It's the truth. So who wants to buy it?"

"Google."

"Google? What do the Google guys want with Bolton's?"

He shrugged, "They seem to have big plans, since they want to buy the whole company."

"Well, that's a surprise I guess..." I answered.

He nodded, "I was a little surprised also."

"Alright, could you make a break for a second?" I asked him. This was smelling delicious.

He nodded, "Yeah sure."

"Great, grab a chair and sit down, we need to talk."

Without a word he took the dark gray chair and sat across from me.

"Look, uhm…" I brushed through my hair, "You're going to find out soon anyway. And I better tell you now than have you read it from 'The Sun'…"

His face went blank. His perfect blue eyes were blank. "Have you… Are you… Do you…" he couldn't bring out any words. He brushed through his sandy brown hair, "Are you having another one? Another man?"

I was shocked for a moment. Did he really thought that I would go to another man after what he put me through? I need to stay calm, so I shook my head, "No…"

I saw the relief in his face and I even saw that little smile on his lips.

"The reason I wanted to talk to you is another one…"

"Do you want me to leave? I mean..." he asked.

"No… I-I mean yes. I- I don't know. I haven't figured out that one yet." I answered and took a deep breath.

"Are you-" he started.

"Could you just shut up for a second and let me talk?" I hissed at him, "God, you're unbelievable sometimes!" I said in one breath.

He scanned my face and let silence take over the room for a couple of seconds. "Are you done with freaking out?"

I brushed through my hair, "Look, this is definitely not the right place neither it's the right time to tell you this but I am not doing this for you. I am doing this for her. Only for her."

"What are you talking about?" he asked me confused. "Are you having one of these moments again?"

"What moments?" I almost hissed at him. _Control yourself in there, will you little girl?,_ I thought.

"_That_ was what I was talking about. You know, these moments you get… One second you'll be yelling at me, the other you're all flirty and the other you're crying. Those… Those mood swings…"

I was unsure if I should grab his hands or something. I didn't want to turn his hopes up, I didn't want to send the wrong signals. Maybe holding his hand was the right signal. Or maybe it just wasn't. But my question got answered by another soft kick inside my stomach. She really is like her father already, the same pighead. So, I did what she ordered. I placed my hands over his. I missed his hands. I missed this warmth. I missed those hands which fit perfectly with mine. With those thoughts on my mind, tears were building up in my chocolate brown eyes.

"You have mood swings. Mood swings and… you have been throwing up, haven't you? And dizziness… and headaches. You have been having a lot of these lately. A lot… And your breast, I mean no offense, but your boobs have grown one whole cup obviously." he stopped with his eyes on my C-cup boobs. No untruth to that. My breats have grown one cup. From an average B-cup to a bigger C-cup. I didn't mind. I always wanted to have bigger boobs, at least I wanted to know what it felt and looked like. Now I got to experience that. My boobs do look better, but my back is also killing me. Which, in conclusion, leads to me being fine with my B-cup breast. I'm glad that at one point my boobs will get smaller again.

Troy looked at me confused. "What's going on, Gabriella? I mean… Are you… Is it possible that… Could you be..."

I felt the tears forming in my eyes. Big salty tears slid slowly down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" he asked me worried as he removed the tears with his right thumb.

"Because my hormones are a mess." I said and nodded, "And yes I am pregnant, Troy." I said with the tears rolling down my face and a smile on my lips.

It took him a minute to process it. More than a minute actually. There was a long silence in the room. "Pregnant?"

"Yes." I said, scanning his eyes. "Say something. Anything."

"You're pregnant." he said in one breath.

"Yeah, well I heard that one before. Come on, you nearly guessed it. How can you be so surprised?"

"Because hearing it from your mouth makes it _real_." he said with such a big smile on his face, before he hugged me and picked me up to spin me around. Not so good for my head. "We're having a baby!" he said before he kissed me.

"Yeah, we are..." I said as I felt solid ground under my feet again. Everything was spinning a little bit, but it calmed down in seconds.

Then he placed his hand on my stomach which was covered with a white shirt and a black cardigan "You're pregnant with a baby…" he said and sounded like he was in his own dreamland right now.

"It's a girl by the way." I said, ripping him out of his day dream.

"What?" he asked me confused.

"It's a girl I am having." I said and his smile got even bigger. I never would have guessed he would be _that_ happy. It was kinda nice to see my husband happy.

"A girl…" he said with his eyes focused on my stomach, "You already have a bump. How far are you?"

"At the end of my 26th week." I answered and he looked up to me.

"You're already 26 weeks pregnant?"

Out of the sudden I felt like in front of court, "Y-Yeah, I found out one month after I left you."

He nodded and walked over to the oven to get out the lasagna. "So uhm.. do you have a name for her yet?" he asked me like I would be one of his friends. Like we were nothing but friends. Why is he so serious all of the sudden?

"No… There're just so many names out there. I can't seem to pick one. Besides, we should do that together."

"Together? Now you want us to make a decision together? You didn't even... How could you keep that from me? All this time, Gabriella!"

"Are you serious right now?" I yelled at him. "How was I suppose to tell you, huh? I left you for good! I left you without even thinking about ever coming back! Now look how far it got me. If it wasn't because of her, I would have never given you another chance! I would have never ever even waste a thought about being with you again!"

"Okay, fine." he said in a loud voice and let the dishtowel fall on the floor, "You want me to go? Fine, I'll go. You want our child to grow up with separate parents? Fine. You want to push me away? Okay. But now don't you play the 'You betrayed me'-card. I am really making an effort here, but if you're not willing to give this family another shot then I don't see why I have to keep on trying." he said as he stormed out of the kitchen. "I don't see why I have to stay here, if in the end you don't even want to be with me."

"Then go!" I yelled at him.

"I will!"

"FINE!" I yelled again. "I am fine without you! I was fine without you! We are going to be fine without you!"

"FINE!" he said and slammed the door shut.

I sat down on the couch and took deep breaths. Suddenly I felt dizzy and weak. Breathing in and out, I hoped I was feeling better. But nothing changed. Within a second my stomach turned around and I ran into the bathroom to throw up. After minutes of puking I washed my face and looked into my reflection. I looked horrible. Even worse than horrible. And I was feeling horrible also.

I walked into the living room again, sat down on the couch and closed my eyes.

Why did we had to fight again? Why did I have to say that I didn't want to be with him even though now I do? Why am I such an idiot whenever I am with him? And why can't he see that my messed up hormones are making me do things I would normally never do? This is just-

I heard the door opening and my head swung into the direction. Not so good with my headache.

Troy was standing in the doorway. "I am sorry." he said and closed the door behind himself.

I got up and walked over to him. "No, you don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. It was all me. _I_ am sorry for everything. _I_ said things I didn't mean. I am sorry. I really am." I said and kissed him. "I didn't mean anything I said. My hormones are messing with my feelings right now. I can't seem... I mean... You know..." I felt the tears rolling down my hot red cheeks.

He brushed through my hair and hugged me, "Shh... It's okay. I love you and I don't know how you managed work _and_ this pregnancy, which is clearly messing with you. I don't even know why we had that fight, it was obviously unnecessary and stupid."

I kissed him again and this time he kissed me back. We both got lost in those kisses. With each kiss the passion between us grew. We started to make out pretty soon.

But he stopped. He stopped kissing me. With our eyes connected with each other, he pressed his head softly against mine.

"Why didn't you tell me about the pregnancy?" he asked me carefully like he was afraid of me exploding again. I was like a ticking bomb.

"I… I couldn't tell you, Troy. I am not ready for us to go into the happy-relationship-mode."

"Then why did you tell me now?" he asked in a cold voice.

"Because you have a right to know." I said in a low voice.

He took a step back and looked me straight into the eyes. "I also have a right to see her on a monitor or hear her heartbeat, ever thought of that?" he said in a loud, but not yelling voice.

"It's not like you missed anything."

"Are you kidding me? It's not like I missed anything? I missed her first heartbeat! I missed the first ultrasound! I didn't get to see her on the monitor! I missed a lot and you know it!" he said in a loud voice." You know it."

"You want to know how she looks like? Well there's not a lot to see." I said and walked over to my purse. I got out my maternity card from my black Chanel purse and threw the tiny black and white pictures at him, "There. You. Go." I yelled at him, "You didn't miss anything. Make copies of them and cover all the walls with them if you want to. But this is nothing important." I yelled at him. "Pictures don't prove anything! She could be dea... It all could be over within just a blink of an eye. So yeah, you missed nothing!"

He was silent as he picked up the photos of our unborn daughter. I guess he knew that my hormones were messing with me once more.

I scanned him, "What? Don't you have something to say? No more words to throw at your pregnant wife?" I said sobbing.

He ignored me. He ignored my yelling voice. He ignored my sobbing voice. It was like my voice never reached his ears. Troy sat down on the white couch, without even looking at me. He was silent as he took a closer look at the little pictures in his hands. "This. Is. Not. Nothing." he said with anger in his voice. His eyes slowly moved up, right into my face. "You know that this isn't nothing. I can't believe you kept this secret from me for all those months! There were thousands of opportunities to tell me! Thousands of them!"

I felt tears rolling down my face, "I wouldn't have told you, if she didn't want it!" I yelled back and walked away from him. "I shouldn't have told you!" I yelled as I walked up the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. Away from you!" I said in a loud and clear voice as I walked up the stairs of our apartment. My feet hurt _so_ bad.

"Gabriella! Get back here!"

I stopped and turned around, to see him standing in the door frame of the living room, looking at me. "Why? So you can yell a little bit more at me? No thanks, I'm not interested. You know what?" I yelled and took a deep breath as I started to feel dizzy again but I was too angry to let anything stop me from yelling now, "I hate you!" I yelled again and continued to walk upstairs.

"That's okay." he yelled after me, "Because the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care and we're still connected and I still have a chance."

I slammed the door of my bedroom shut and threw myself on the bed. As I layed and stared at the ceiling my headache only grew. I was _so_ mad right now! I couldn't believe he was mad at me for not telling him earlier! I couldn't believe that he-

My thoughts got interrupted by my turning stomach. I got up as quickly as I could and ran into the bathroom to throw my breakfast and that piece of cake out.

I looked at my reflection in the bathroom and put my hands on my stomach, "You don't have to punish your mommy for fighting with daddy. It takes two for a tango." I washed my face and walked back into my bedroom.

I felt weak, in fact I felt more than weak. My head hurt, my throat hurt from the puking and my feet hurt from the walking I had to do all day and I still felt dizzy.

After a couple of minutes laying in the bed my vertigo did go away, but my head, throat and feet still hurt. I felt horrible. Worse than ever - well the worst I have felt in 26 weeks.

A knock on my door distracted me from my pain, "Go away." I said in a clear and loud voice.

Of course, he did not go away. Instead he opened the door and walked in, to only see me laying on my bed with a pillow under my head looking like crap. He was holding a tablet with a plate filled with lasagne, salad and orange juice. But he nearly dropped it as he saw me. "Gabriella, is everything alright? You look horrible."

And now the tears started to roll down my face again,"I said go away. I am fine."

"Oh I doubt that, honey." he said and placed the tablet on my night stand.

"Don't honey me."

He ignored that, "I think we should drive to a hospital. You look like a walking lich."

"Geez thanks, you definitely know how to make a pale looking woman happy." I said as he sat down next to me.

"This couldn't be good." he said with worry in both his eyes and his voice.

"This is pregnancy, Troy." I said and rolled over so I wouldn't face him.

He stroke through my black hair, "Eat something, okay?" he said before he got up.

I watched him walk back to the door frame, "Troy?"

He turned around, "Don't worry, I diluted the orange juice with water."

I nodded, even though it wasn't my question. "Would...would you mind eating with me?"

He smiled, "No not at all." he said and was about to go but I stopped him.

"I love you." I said with a soft smile on my face.

Without a word, he walked over to him and bend down to kiss me softly on my lips, "I love you, too. More than you know." he said as he brushed through my black locks.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I-"

"You don't have to apologize. We're going to have this a lot in the next months. Besides, we survived the arguments before and we will survive the next one coming also." he said and kissed me again.

With a soft smile on his lips, he left to get a tablet for himself.

I guess some times we need to have some space from each other. Sometimes we need time apart. We need the time in order to keep our relationship going.

I didn't realize how much I missed him until I had him back. I didn't realize how strong my feelings for him were until I left him. I didn't know how much I needed him until now. And it wasn't only me who needed him. I had now a baby girl, who I had to take care of. And that girl will need a father. I will give her that father, that's the least I can do for her.

"I will make your life as easy as possible, I promise." I said with both hands on my stomach, "No matter how much I will have to suffer for your luck."

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**This is the last chapter for 2010! _Enjoy_ reading and review!**

**I hope you liked the chapter. I think it turned out well, so far it one of my favorites chapters of the story. Who knows what's next...  
**

**Have a happy new year and see you in 2011... with all new chapters! :D  
**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	25. Worth being a Bolton

**I hope you all had a good start in 2011! Enjoy this chapter, even though it is short.  


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****25. Worth being a Bolton**

We decided to have a nice breakfast on a Sunday morning. Troy was making the pancakes, while I was doing the omelets - and yeah, I was in the mood for eggs.

"Okay, I think we're ready to serve." he said and looked at me.

"I'll get the plates." I said while doing so.

"Gabi?"

"Yeah?" I asked him as I placed the plates on the table.

"When are you going to turn the guest room into a nursery?"

"I… I don't know. Honestly, I didn't even thought I'd be staying here for that long." I answered his question as I got the forks and knifes.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I actually was planning to move to the beach."

"Which city?"

"Laguna Beach. It would be a better place for her to grow up than here in glamorous Los Angeles. I don't want her to turn into a diva at the age of seventeen. I want her to have a life as normal as possible. And besides, my mother would just live around the corner."

"Okay… But you do know that in Laguna she's going to be just as spoiled as she is here in L.A., right?"

"I know, but she will have the beach also. Besides, I can have a little luxury can't I?

"When did you plan to move?"

"In a couple of weeks. I'm going to start looking for a house soon."

"A house, huh? So you're really serious…" he said while he filled the plates with food.

"Yeah, I am not going to do things by halves. I mean, after all this isn't about friends, this is about family. About our daughter." I said and smiled softly. "...Troy?"

"What?"

"Have you… I mean did you…" I couldn't find the right words for the question I was about to ask him.

"Yes, I did meet up with her again. Once. I told her that it was over, for good. We cleared everything. I gave her what she wanted and she promised me to now stay away from my family."

We were silent. So he did meet up with Amanda. But just once. I didn't know if I was able to believe him again. If I could believe him after what he did to me. But I was willing to try.

"But how did you… I mean did you have…"

"No, I did not. No sex since you left."

"Absolutely no sex?" I asked him surprised. I couldn't believe he survived fully 20 weeks without any sex at all. "How did you…? I mean…"

"Where there's a will, there's a way." he said and I looked into his eyes.

"No sex in 20 weeks. I don't know if I should believe you."

"You may believe me. I mean, we barely had sex back in London…"

"Yeah, I know. But the sex we had was great. I was constantly cranky and yelling at you as soon as I saw you. And you barely were home…"

"Speaking of being cranky, why were you so cranky?"

"I… I took hormones via tablets. They should help me or that's what Dr. Hamilton said. And those hormones made me cranky and made me feel bad about everything."

"Why did you start taking those hormones? I mean, you can get easily pregnant… right?"

"It wasn't the problem to get me pregnant." I said and looked down.

"It wasn't? But you had one miscarriage."

"There wasn't only one miscarriage." I bit on my lip, "I had been pregnant four times, Troy. This is my fifth pregnancy with your child."

He was silent. I let the silence take over the room. Silence was what we needed. What he needed, what he wanted...

"You Y-You… You had four miscarriages?" he asked me shocked after minutes.

I nodded, "I did. And I lost it every time in the first three months. I even was pregnant when we got married. But I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you again. That's why I decided to wait at least three months, before I'd tell you. But when I found out that I was pregnant again, I knew that I would have this baby. I just knew it." I finished with tears building up in my eyes.

He hugged me and stroke through my hair, "I'm sorry for everything, Gabriella."

"I know…" I said, "I know…" I repeated saying it now to myself. "But it's okay now. Everything is fine now…" Then I looked at my plate, "What did Jack do after that scandal in the tabloids?"

Troy was silent and looked at his plate. My eyes moved up and I saw how sad he suddenly looked.

"Troy…? What's going on?" I slowly asked him. I definitely wasn't ready for another Jack drama. "You can tell me." Jack-drama has never been good. Never.

He looked up at me with his eyes filled with tears, "Uhm he… Well, he passed away, Gabriella." I saw how sad his eyes were and I also saw that he definitely wasn't ready to talk about. So I was silent. I didn't say anything. I got up from my chair and walked over to him to embrace him with my arms..

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him after minutes of silence, "Or shall I get you some Scotch?"

He smiled and looked to me, "Why would I need Scotch, if I have you?" I haven't heard that sentence… like ever. I wished for him saying this sentence since years and now it was here.

"I'm so sorry, Troy. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we were separated. There was no us. There was just you and me."

"But you could have called me…"He gave me a look, "Right, you couldn't. Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him slowly, not sure what he would answer.

"It's best I tell you."

"When did he…"

"Two weeks after you left me. He had cancer, but he didn't want anyone to know."

"Did you know?"

He shook his head, "Only my mom knew. She called me on the day he died to ask us to come over. I told her I would come but you had to work. As I later found out, I was the last child who said goodbye to him. So as I stood next to his deathbed he asked me where you were and I told him that we were separated. My mom couldn't believe it. But Jack…" he stopped.

"What did Jack say?" I asked him as I stroke through his sandy brown hair. He probably was even mean to me on his deathbed. That would be _so _Jack.

"He said he was truthfully sorry for everything he had ever done to you and that I should tell you this if I ever see you again. He told me that you are a strong and wonderfull woman who was worth being a Bolton. He wouldn't want any other woman as his daughter-in-law." Then he laughed a little, "And he said that I am an idiot for cheating on the most wonderful woman in the whole world. He was right with that. And he also told me to give you this." he said and got out a letter from his jacket.

I was speechless. Maybe Jack didn't hate me anyway. Maybe he was just a father protecting his son.

He handed me the letter, "I didn't read it."

"I-I don't know what to say, Troy. I mean…" I stopped and we both were silent for a couple of minutes. Neither of us knew what to say. I still couldn't believe that Jack was dead.

"How did Olivia and Leah take it?" I asked him.

"Not so well. They… they don't talk about it. Not with their boyfriend or husband."

"Did they talk with you?"

He nodded, "Yeah, they both spent a couple of days with me."

"Did they stay at the apartment?"

"Yeah… it was just the three of us. And a bottle of Scotch for Olivia and me. We hadn't been this close in a long, long time. It's sad how the death of our father brought us together again. I mean, really close together again. We ate ice cream every evening and talked about the good and the bad times we all had with our father. We realized that nothing is more important than family. Well Olivia and me realized it, Leah already knew that."

"Is that why you quit your job?"

He nodded and looked down, "He… He told me to listen to my heart and, for once and for all, stop doing what my head tells me to. He was right with that also."

"Troy, " I started and brushed through his hair, "he has raised a wonderful son. He couldn't be prouder of you. He has done a wonderful job with each of you guys." I said with a soft smile on my face.

"Thank you, Gabriella."

"For what?" I asked him.

"Thank you for being there for me after what I have done to you. Take you for giving me another chance. And thank you for giving me strength when I feel weak."

"We are husband and wife, Troy. It goes without saying that I am by your side on bad days. Even though you committed adultery, I am still there for you through the tough times. Well, now I am anyway."

"I don't deserve a wife like you." he said while brushing through my hair, "I love you, Gabriella Maria Bolton."

"I love you too, Troy Johnathan Bolton." I said and kissed him.

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**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Please review :D.**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	26. Something's more than wrong

**26. Something's more than wrong**

I hadn't had yet a chance to read the letter from Troy's father.

We talked about our problems again and we barely yelled at each other. Of course we still had those moments in which we just had enough of each other, but instead of walking away from each other, we just each locked ourselves up in a room.

Just like we did today.

I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom upstairs, while he was… somewhere else. I had one of those pregnancy moments again, as he called it. We fought about cheese and jelly. My vertigos started to go away and my headaches were getting better also. My stomach grew enormously in the last couple of weeks and I felt now like a balloon. But I loved feeling of looking like a balloon even though my feet even hurt more than weeks ago.

A knock on my door caused me to look up from my bump. Seconds later the door opened and Troy walked in, holding two cups.

"I made us some tea." he said holding up one cup. That was our way to say that one of us was sorry for whatever reason.

I smiled, "Sit down."

He sat next to me, with our backs pressed against the marble bathtube, before he handed me a cup of tea, "We suck at fighting."

I laughed a little and looked at him, "It's good that we suck at it. I mean, we used to be awesome at fighting. Cheers." I said and took a sip of my chamomile tea. He took a sip of his coffee. "Did you had to fill the other cup with coffee?" I asked him annoyed.

"What's wrong with drinking coffee? I want to drink coffee."

"But what about me? What if _I_ want to drink a cup of coffee?"

"You're not going to have a cup of coffee, honey. Because you have the honour to take care of our daughter." he said and placed his free hand on my stomach.

"Geez, thanks for reminding me. I would have forgotten it, if there weren't you." I said and rolled my eyes.

"You're cranky."

"I am pregnant."

"And still cranky." he said and smiled before he got up, "Come on, get up." he said and handed me his free hand to help me up, "You need to be in bed instead of sitting on the cold marble floor. It's no good for both of you."

"Ugh, you're no fun when you're so nice to me." I said as he pulled me up.

"I guess you will have to deal with that." he said and placed his hands on my shoulder as he guided me into the bedroom. It was a cold day for sunny Los Angeles with a couple of rain drops. I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He did the same.

"Why are we staring at the ceiling?" he asked me after minutes of silence.

"Do you have to question everything I do?"

"Yes. Your answer?"

"I don't want to sleep yet."

"It's two in the morning. I know you get those snack attacks at about a quater of two and I also know that you start feeling depressed after you ate whatever you were in the mood for, which eventually will cause you to fight with me about some ridiculous reason."

I turned my head to face him, "It all sounds so easy coming from you. Pregnancy is for you like a docket. But for me it's not."

"I never said that I think that." he said and I felt my stomach turning around. "But I know that you will have to throw up any minute."

"Oh I hate when you're right!" I said before I ran into the bathroom to puke the cheese and jelly out. But what I puked out wasn't just the cheese and the jelly, there was more. There was this red liquidness... called blood. I was shocked but what I saw, but I couldn't stop puking. More and more blood was finding its way out of my stomach and into the toilet. After nearly 2 minutes of puking I felt weak, and with weak I meant really, really weak.

"Troy!" I yelled with as much power I had left.

My headache was coming back, so I decided to wash my face with cold water. Then I looked at my reflection. I looked like a lych. Now I knew what Troy meant weeks ago. I looked terribly… I looked dead. I placed my hands on my stomach and took deep breaths as I started to feel stitches in my abdomen. Very strong stitches.

Whatever was going on... it scared me to death.

"Ouch!" I said and touched my stomach.

"Gabs!" I heard Troy's voice and looked at him.

I was near by tears now, "Something's wrong. Something's more than wrong, Troy. We need to get to the hospital, immediately." I said and felt a stitch again. I grabbed Troy's arm in order to not fall.

"Sit down and try to calm down." he said almost in trance, "Everything's going to be fine once you're at the hospital."

"But what if not?" I asked him and felt how I lost the ground under my feet.

Then everything in front of my eyes went black.

But was it really… all going to be fine? I couldn't do this again. I couldn't go through a misscarriage again. I promised myself to not lose this baby. I wouldn't lose this baby. Not again and definitely not this one. We already made it that far...

I couldn't go through this again. I couldn't do this to Troy. He loves this baby. I would do anything to not lose this baby. Anything - Even if that would mean I had to give my life.

* * *

**New chapter, everyone! **

**Hope you liked it. Please review :)**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	27. The truth can be ugly

**27. The truth can be ugly**

I woke up by the sound of a cheep tone. A couple of seconds later, I heard it again. And then again. My eyes slowly fluttered open, where was I? I looked around and saw monitors next to me plus a blood preservation connected to me. I was at the hospital and the cheeping sound was the EKG, I knew that now. The room itself wasn't too cold, of course there were the typical hospital furniture, but there walls were painted in a pretty blue.

My eyes moved further around and I recognized Troy sleeping in the arm chair next to me. Then I remembered how I got here. My hands moved automatically to my stomach. It was still there. The baby bump was still there. Was I still pregnant? Was everything okay with her? And why the heck did I feel so tired?

I sighed and wanted to get up, to walk around a little bit. But as soon as I moved an inch, I felt how my weak body protested. I needed bed rest, but I didn't want the bed rest. I sighed and let my body fall back into the hospital bed.

That movement woke my husband up.

"Good morning." I said with a weak smile on my face.

He returned my smile, "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty weak, to be honest."

He looked at the blood preservation, "It's your fifth. You should be feeling a little better now."

"Well, I do feel better than… before." I answered as he got up from the armchair. "Are we still in New York?"

He shook his head, "We were in New York for… for about a week. You needed to get stable, so the doctors could transfer you to Los Angeles."

"So we're in L.A… Which hospital are we in?"

"St. Vincent."

I nodded and felt my head hurt, "That's a good hospital…"

"One of the best in the world…"

"H-How long have I been here?" I asked him as he sat next to me.

"Ten days." he said and took my hand.

"I have been sleeping for ten days here?"

He nodded. "Well you did wake up a couple of times, but you weren't responsive, I guess. You just looked around you and then you fell asleep again…" he said and I saw fear in his eyes. "You even smiled at me a couple of times."

"Please don't tell me that you have been here fully ten days."

"Well I did went home to change, so don't worry." he said and laughed a little.

I couldn't laugh. Not in a situation like that. Not in situation, in which I didn't know what was wrong with me.

"Troy, what's wrong with me?" I asked him in a serious tone.

"Addision said something about the baby taking too much of your blood. That caused the low blood pressure, the vertigos… the headaches. And that's why you're connected to the blood preservation."

"B-But is she okay?"

He was silent and looked down.

"Troy, I asked if she is okay!" I said in a demanding tone.

"She is, but I am not sure if you are going to." he said in a low voice.

"W-What are you talking about?"

"There's a chance you will die, if you have this baby."

I was silent. There was a chance I would die. But I didn't care. No one is taking this child away from me. No doctor, no medicine - absolutely nothing can tear us apart. _We_ are one family. _I_ am her mother. _This_ is my child. I took a deep breath, "I am going to have this baby."

"Gabriella, I-" he stopped as soon as he heard the door opening.

Addision stepped in, looking at my chart I guessed. Then she looked up, "Ah you're awake Gabriella!"

I looked away from Troy and to my doctor. "Addision, am I going to die if I give birth to my child?" I asked her.

"There's a 65% chance you or the baby or both of you will, yes." she said.

"So what do you suggest?" Troy asked her.

She was silent for a moment, before she spoke up. She decided to be honest with us, because after all we weren't just her patients… We were friends. I needed her to be my friend right now, not my doctor. I needed her to be there for me. "You can easily have another baby… You could lose it anyway."

"I am going to have this baby."

"But-" Troy started.

"No! I am going to give birth to this baby." I said and looked at the blood preservation, "How many of those do I need to have in me, until I can leave?"

"Just that blood preservation and one more night here, then you're free to leave. _But_ you will have to stay under bed rest and you will have to come here every week, so I can check up on you."

"Every week?" Troy asked her worried.

"Yes and every now and then you're going to get connected to a blood preservation again, if you're going to have this baby."

"I am."

"Honey-" Troy started.

"No, I am going to have this baby. I will get to this stupid hospital every week to check up on me. I am going to have this baby. Nothing and no one will stop me. I am having this baby."

"Alright, I have some more patients I need to check on. See you later, Gabs." she said and left us alone again.

There was a long silence filling the room. A silence of lost hope, of fear, of worry...

"The doctor didn't say something could happen to you, she said there was a very good chance. A 65% you will die chance, to be exact. Gabriella, she said that we could lose the baby anyway." he said and kissed my head. I felt the tears rolling down my face. "We don't have to make this decision now. We can take a couple of days before we get back here."

"For an abortion."

"That's not what the doctor said."

"That's what it is."

"Look nobody is getting-"

"That's what it is!" I yelled at him. And the cheep tone changed from the regular intervals into faster intervals. I took a deep breath and brushed through my hair, "Okay, if you want to talk about it, then call it what it is."

"How could this happen in two months?"

I looked down, "I had some pain early in the pregnancy."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Cause I didn't want you to worry and they said it was nothing."

"This isn't nothing!"

"Maybe it is."

"What does that mean?"

"It means whatever happens, happens."

"Now that's really selfish!" he said and got up to walk to the window.

"Excuse me?"

"Okay fine! You want me to be the bad guy?" he yelled at me, "Fine! Well call it what you want. But if continuing this pregnancy means I lose you…" he said and looked at me, "Then we end it."

I looked around, trying to calm down, "It's not an it. It's a baby. A baby girl, Troy! You heard her heartbeat, you saw her tinny fingers and her little nose-"

"Stop it!"

"No I'm not gonna stop it! I want you to think about it, okay?"

"We'll try again, okay?" he said and placed his forehead against mine, "We'll adopt. We got you pregnant before, we'll do it again."

"I know, but there's a little life inside of me. _It's me and it's you._ And I want her to have your crystal blue eyes and my dark brown curly hair. She should be a pighead like you and have my skinny legs. I want her to be-"

"I don't need this kid to look like me. I don't care about that. But I won't have this child growing up with just one parent. Look what it did to you. Your father left you at the age of 5."

"You're really trying to guilt me into this." I said noticing.

"I guess I am. That's exactly what I'm going to do if in the end it keeps you alive."

"You're such a dick."

"Then fine, I'm a dick." he said and looked for something in his jacket. He held up a piece of paper.

"What is this?" I asked him confused.

"That's a contract of purchase." he said and threw the paper at me. I picked it up. "I bought a house for us. It has the perfect view, the most amazing kitchen and a perfect nursery."

"Y-You bought a house?" I said while reading what the contract said. It was a house in Laguna Beach, located at the 29th Vista Del Sol to be exact, it was also in a gated community meaning it would be absolutely safe there. It had 6 bedrooms, 7 baths and was 11.4 Acres big. Then he ripped the paper out of my hands, "But it was too soon." he said and was about to tear it apart when I grabbed the piece of paper out of his hands again.

"No! Stop it, or I will beat your ass!"

He sighed and then looked at me, "A while back I had a dream, something happened to you. It got me to thinking about my life without you," he placed his hands on my cheeks, "and I can't imagine my life without you. I can't live that life without you."

"We can't think like that, okay? Will you just look at all the stuff we survived together? I mean, crazy fathers, horrible pasts, psycho Josh… Are we really going to let some doctor tell us what to do?" I asked him and fondled his cheek. "I won't. Even if something does happen to me, you're going to be fine. You can raise this baby on your own. Just like my mom did with me."

"And how am I suppose to feel about the child that took you away from me?"

"God I don't worry about that for a second, because you're not that person. And you will never ever be on your own. You have Ashley, Sue, Leah, Olivia, Kimberley, Jason, Charles... and your mother. You have our whole families and friends. But I will hunt your ass if you ever have sex again." I said and laughed a little.

"How can you joke about this?" He asked me shaking his head.

"Because I am scared." I said and felt the tears rolling down my cheeks again, "I mean, you were the one who told me to believe in fate."

"How can this be fate?"

"Maybe it is. Maybe, the whole point of you and me and every single moment that we've shared together has just been leading us here. Maybe you and I are meant to create _this_ life, because maybe this life is going to change the world."

"I can't except that our story doesn't have a good ending."

"Our story already has the greatest ending, no matter what. Cause we're together." I said and he embraced me before he let out a big sigh.

"And we did know when to make the right choice." he whispered into my ear.

Then I felt it, a hard kick inside my stomach, "Oh!"

"What? I'll call Addison!" he said in panic.

"No… Wait." I said and placed my hands on my stomach. "She's kicking hard." I said and placed his right hand on the place she was kicking, "Do you feel that?" I said with a smile on my face.

"Yeah…" he said amazed. His eyes were shiny and his lips formed a big smile.

"Hey, " I said and lifted his chin up, "It's okay for you to love this baby. It doesn't mean you don't love me." I said and saw the tears forming in his eyes.

"I can't live without you, Gabriella."

"Oh honey, you don't have to and you're not going to. I know it and I can feel it. We're going to live happily ever after." I said and fondled his hand on my stomach, "All three of us." I said sobbing.

"This scares me, Gabriella."

"It'll be okay."

"What if it's not?"

"It will be. We're gonna dance at her wedding and we're gonna spoil our grandkids together. I know it." I said and took a deep breath, "I'm doing this. I'm having this baby."

"No. We are having this baby." he said and kissed me.

* * *

**A new chapter every one! Hope you liked this one.**

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**Xoxo Nic  
**


	28. Pregnancy's a philosophy of itself

**28. Pregnancy's a philosophy of itself**

I stayed longer than planned at the hospital. One week longer to be exact. One whole week, but I was finally released from that hospital and we were on our way back into the apartment. I still felt a little tired, but not so weak anymore.

_Flashback_

_In the hospital:_

_Troy went to the cafeteria, to get another cup of coffee. I sighed and brushed through my hair. The door opened and Ashley stepped in. Her eyes were red and swollen._

_"Ash, what are you doing here?" I asked her surprised._

_"Oh thank god, you're a alive." she said and faked a bright smile before she walked over to me and hugged me. Then she started to cry and I rubbed her back._

_"You know, huh?" I asked her._

_All she could do was nod, "Y-Yeah, I do."_

_"Everything's going to be fine." I said and removed her tears with my thumb._

_"B-But you…" she said sobbing and looked at the blood preservation._

_"It's not as bad as it seems. Take a deep breath, honey."_

_She took the deep breath, "Gabriella, are you really going to die?"_

_"I'm sorry to break this to you, but we all are going to die one day." I said and laughed._

_"How can you joke about this?" she asked me._

_"Because I am scared, Ash." I said with tears in my eyes and she hugged me, "But I am going to have this baby, Ashley. No buts."_

_She smiled, "You sound just like a mother."_

_"I already am a mother. But if… if something does happen to me, I want you to take care of Troy."_

_"Nothing's gonna happen."_

_"Ashley…"_

_"You shouldn't talk like that." _

_"We have to talk like this."_

_"What are you afraid of?"_

_"I'm scared I'm gonna miss it all. My life with Troy and our daughter, with my family, my friends… and you."_

_"It's not fair."_

_"When I think of everyone else out there in the world that goes through their life alone and then I think of all the amazing years that I got to spent with my beautiful best friend, Ashley Tisdale, I kinda feel sorry for everybody else." I said and we both laughed with tears in our eyes._

_"You're gonna ruin my make-up." she said, holding her tears back._

_"Oh I'm sorry."_

_"If your stupid skinny ass goes not anywhere before I say so, we are not best friends anymore. Got it?"_

_"I got it..."_

_"Okay…"_

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too, Gabs." she said and hugged me again._

_End of Flashback_

"Show me the house." I said as we stood at a red light.

"What? Now?" he asked me surprised.

"Yes now."

"How about I'll show you tomorrow. You must be tired. You have been in the hospital for more than a week _and _you have to get back there in four days." he said with a worried look.

"Troy…"

"I am serious, Gabs. I don't want to put you under unnecessary pressure again… It's no good for both of you." he said and took a deep breath, "You don't know how much you scared me, Gabs. And I… I will do anything to avoid that kind of thing. Anything."

"But…"

"No buts Gabriella. Tomorrow alright?"

"I am fine."

"You are tired."

"No I am not." I said and couldn't help but feel my heavy eyelids slowly closing.

"Yes you are."

"I want to see it. I want to see it now. Please… And I am not tired. See I am totally awake." I said with puppy eyes before I jumped up and down.

"Stop it, or something happens." he ordered.

"Why are you so demanding?" I said and stopped.

"Because I don't want anything to happen with you or the baby or me or the three of us."

"Are you going to show me the house or what?"

He sighed and switched on the turn signal, "Alright fine. But we'll be driving for at least two hours."

"I think I can take two hours in this car with you." I said and showed him my tongue.

"Gabriella, are you sure you're alright?" he asked me worried.

"Yes, I am totally fine Troy." I said with a soft smile on my face.

He sighed, "Try to sleep, okay? You need rest."

"What I need is to see the house... What I need is you to…" I stopped as I felt the vomiting coming up, "pull over!"

"What?" he asked me shocked.

"Pull over or I'll throw up in your car!" I said as I felt my stomach turning around.

He pulled over and I teared the car door open to throw up. Seconds later I was done and I also was feeling a little better.

"You okay?" he asked me worried.

I nodded, "I am fine."

"You still think it's a good idea to drive over to Laguna Beach?"

"Oh no Mr., we will drive to Laguna Beach. There's no other direction we will have. Got it?" I said in a demanding tone.

He nodded, "Fine…"

"But you _might_ wanna stop at Pinkberry before you head off to the highway." I said in a sweet tone and he smirked.

"Pregnancy's a philosophy for itself…" he said and I smiled innocently.

After 2 hours of driving we finally were in Laguna Beach. I loved the city and it was beautiful. We were driving up a road, while I looked around. This was where we would raise our daughter. This was where my life is going to be. I smiled, I loved this place.

We passed one great house after another and I was slowly asking myself where our house would be. There were enormous white, grey, black -and in every other color you could think of- houses.

"This is a beautiful area…" I said, still looking around.

"I know." he said and held my hand, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Troy, I am perfectly fine." I said with a soft smile on my face.

"You puked 5 times on the road."

"We passed three McDonalds and two Kentucky Fried Chickens." I protested.

"You ate two salads and one burger."

"I was hungry!"

"And then you puked it all out."

"Alright fine. You got me. I can't answer back to that." I said with a smile on my face.

He returned my smile before he stopped. "We are here."

"Really?" I said and looked out of the window.

"Yep." he said and got out, before he helped me.

It was a beautiful house with ivy on the walls, it was a Spanish styled house and it was perfect.

"Wow…" That was all I managed as I walked to the beautiful building, "That is our house? This is where we're gonna live?" It was located on 29th of Vista Del Sol. That address sounded nice, right?

"Yep." he said simply and opened the gate to the actual house.

"How much did you spend for this beauty?" I asked him as I walked down the path to the front door.

"14 million..." he answered after hesitating for a second and I looked at him with a shocked face.

"_14_ million? Are you freaking-" he opened the door and my mouth shut up for once. This was the most amazing house I have _ever_ seen, "wonderfull." I finished as I saw the living room along with its amazing view over whole Laguna Beach. "This is beautiful." I said as I looked around.

"You like it?" he asked me as he walked to me.

"Like it?" I asked him as I looked around, "I love it."

"There's an amazing view from every room in this house."

"Seriously?" I asked him surprised.

He nodded, "Every single room."

"Where's the kitchen?" I asked him.

"Over there." he said and pointed behind me.

I turned around and walked into the direction, this house was truely amazing. As soon as I was in the kitchen I stopped, the view was amazing. I saw the ocean and the many houses in front of it. The kitchen itself had natural stone on the floor and was just perfect. There was an island and a fridge big enough for me and my pregnant hunger.

"Well I knew you always had a lot of style… but this," I said and turned around to look at him, "This is truly amazing. I think you just topped yourself." I said and kissed him, "Because this is just perfect."

"Well I tried my best to please your high expectations." he said and brushed through my hair.

"When did you had time to look for this mansion?"

"I didn't look for it. Well a friend of mine knows the owner. The owner wanted to sell this house, which he built, because his children are moving out now and the house is too big for him. I bought it."

"Did you at least take a look before you bought it?"

He nodded, "Of course, I took a look."

I kissed him again, with as much passion as I held inside of me, "Where's our bedroom?"

He grinned against my lips, before he kissed me again. "What about your blood pressure?"

_Flashback:_

_In the hospital:_

_"So, the baby looks just fine." Addision said with a smile on her lips._

_"Then I am able to go?"_

_"I see no reason why not." she said and I got off the bed._

_"Listen, uhm… what about sex? I mean with my blood pressure…"_

_"Just don't over do it." she said and smiled._

_"Okay…" I said and hugged her, "When do you get to make a break?"_

_She looked at her watch, "In eight hours."_

_"Boy, am I glad I didn't go into medicine." I said and we both laughed, "But listen, give me a call whenever you're free. You still owe me a meal."_

_She nodded, "How does Saturday sound?"_

_"Saturday's good."_

_"Good, I'll be at your apartment at 7."_

_"But we're gonna go out, right?"_

_She nodded, "Even though you are under bed rest I _think_ we can make an exception there. It's just going to be this once."_

_"Okay, we have so much to catch up with."_

_"Definitely." she said and the door opened. My husband stepped in. "I'm gonna head off then. Got some more patients, I need to take care of."_

_"See you on Saturday!"_

_End of Flashback_

"I am going to be just fine." I ensured him with a kiss, "Besides, don't tell me you don't want to."

"Well…"

"See?" I said and kissed him again.

"But what if we hurt her?"

"She's going to be fine. Trust me. She will be just fine, because her mother will be more than fine." I said with a dirrty smile on my face.

He looked me into my eyes... into my soul, "I love you."

"I love you, too." I said before he pulled me into a long kiss.

* * *

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**Xoxo Nic  
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	29. It's no good for you

**29. It's no good for you**

_Four weeks later:_

I was bored. More than bored. I distracted myself with a little work. Not too much of work, but a little bit. I wrote just two songs in the last four weeks, because I was constantly tired.

Micheal and Kristen found a location for our label. It was big enough to have 6 studios plus several other rooms. The rent was, for Los Angeles, not very high. But it was still a long time coming until the label would open. Oh, and we decided to call it Rock Mafia.

As the pregnancy - and with it my baby bump grew- continued I ended up with one blood preservation per week. Yep, that's how my situation was now. On Mondays I slept in, on Tuesdays I baked, on Wednesday I worked a little, on Thursday I slept in again because I worked 'so much' the day before, on Fridays I go to the hospital to have a check up including getting connected to at least one blood preservation and on Saturdays and Sundays I end up at Ashley's. On Saturdays we usually go shopping and on Sundays we have a girls night in. Today was Sunday, but I didn't spend it at Ashley's instead we decided to move into the house. The dream house in dreamland aka Laguna Beach.

"Okay, this is the last box." I said with a box in my arms.

"You shouldn't be carrying any boxes. At all." Scott said and teared the box out of my hands.

"But this one isn't even heavy." I protested.

"Where shall I put this one?"

I smiled, "In the nursery."

He nodded, "I'll go bring this one in the nursery and you go into the kitchen. I think Ashley needs help, she's not that great in cooking, you know."

"Let's get into the kitchen, baby girl!" I said to my baby bump and together we walked to the kitchen. "Scott, wait!" I said and turned around.

"Are you alright?" he asked me worried.

"I am fine. It's just… where's Troy?"

"In the room you're not allowed to step in."

"The nursery." I said and he nodded.

"Hey listen, can we talk after you helped out Ash?"

"Yeah, sure… I'll go find you, once we're ready with everything." I said with a smile on my face before I continued walking to the kitchen. As I entered the wonderful kitchen I saw Ashley sitting at the island, staring into space.

"Ashley, what's wrong?" I asked her worried as I grabbed a chair and sat next to her.

"Gabriella…" she said and looked at me, "I think Scott's cheating on me."

"Honey, what makes you think that?" I asked her worried.

"He's been so weird lately. He is barely home and he almost never returns my calls." she said and looked away, "It's just like it was with Troy."

"Oh don't say that, honey. He isn't cheating on you. I feel it. He is still head over heels in love with you. He loves you with every cell in his body."

"But… but what is he has fallen out of love with me? Or what if I am such a horrible girlfriend that he can't even tell me? Gabi, I have turned into a desperate housewife, well minus the house and the wife part."

I laughed, "Ash, calm down. Everything's fine. I promise you."

"It's been almost three years. I am nearly three years in a relationship with this man. And I can't bear to find out that he betrayed me. That would be... heartbreaking."

I nodded and smiled, "I know. But he isn't cheating on you. I can't imagine him with any other woman but you. You guys are perfect for each other. Like-"

"You and Troy?"

"I was going to say soul mates, but yeah like Troy and me."

"What are they doing up there anyway?" she asked me.

"They're putting up the furniture for the nursery, I think. I don't know. I am not allowed to go in there. Meaning you as well, because they know you wouldn't be able to keep your mouth shut. So it's going to be a surprise."

"I like surprises." She said smiling.

"Oh I know."

A few minutes later I walked upstairs to talk to Scott. I knocked on the door from the nursery room. "Am I allowed to see it yet?"

"No!" Both men screamed.

"Ashley left for a meeting and I am here all alone. Well not alone, because I've got a baby inside of me but… yet I am alone. Can anybody come out here?" I asked with a smile on my face, "Or I will continue talking to a closed door and as soon as you can say she's crazy, I will be in some psychiatry asking myself how I got here. And then I would remember that it all started with me talking to a door because my husband and my dear friend wouldn't come out and talk to me." I finished my speech.

I heard Troy's big sigh, "Alright. Scott, go and talk to her. I can finish this up on my own."

"Speaking of finishing, how long will you take?" I asked through the door.

"Just a couple more hours. Nearly done." Troy said, "Now turn around, Scott's gonna come out." he ordered.

"I turned around!" I answered even though I didn't turn around.

The door opened and I got a sneak peek into the nursery. All I saw was Troy in jeans and a shirt on and color on his butt. White color on his butt. Maybe this wouldn't be as good as I imagined it to be… But damn, my husband looked hot!

"Hey, no looking!" Scott said and quickly closed the door.

"Please tell me that the walls aren't painted in a naked white color."

"They are not." he said.

"Stop lieing. I saw the white color on Troy's butt."

"They are not white. I promise you. There are other things in white." he said and smiled.

"Alright, I need to sit down. Let's go downstairs." I said and we both walked down the steps before I let myself fall on the couch, "So what did you want to tell me?"

He sat next to me, "I will ask Ashley if she wants to marry me. But before I can do this, I kind of need your blessings. The last one I need, actually. I mean, you're her best friend, you guys did everything together. If you don't approve, then she won't also."

Ashley was wrong. He was not cheating on her! He was planning to propose! OhmyGod he was planning to propose!

"You already asked Kelly and Chris?" I asked him in a cool voice.

He nodded, "Two days ago."

"And they gave you their blessings."

"They did… So, are you?"

"Huh?"

"Giving me your blessings."

I hugged him, well as possible as it was with a 32 weeks pregnant baby bump, "Of course I am giving you my blessings. You guys seem perfect for each other."

He smiled and got out a little box from his pocket. He opened it and a beautiful ring was inside of it. "Do you think she'll like it? It was my great-grandmother's."

I nodded and felt tears forming in my eyes, "She'll love it. Just like she loves you."

"Do you think she noticed anything yet?"

"She actually thinks you're cheating on her."

"Really?"

"Yeah, so I think you should hurry with proposing. When do you plan to pop the question?"

"In a couple of days, actually."

"And how?"

"Romantic dinner at the beach." he said smiling.

"Don't worry about her saying no, she won't. I promise you, she won't." I said and hugged him again.

"Thanks, Gabriella. You really are a great friend."

"Speaking of friendship, is there any way I'm gonna get a sneak peek inside the nursery?" I asked him with an innocent smile on my lips.

"Troy's gonna show it to you as soon as it's done. Don't worry, it's great."

In the late evening I was sitting in front of the fireplace eating Ice cream with a big spoon. I looked at the night sky of Laguna Beach. Behind all those houses was the ocean, showing its waves. I loved the city, I really did.

I switched on the TV and stopped at The Princess Diaries 2. I loved this movie when I was younger. I smiled and placed my hand on my stomach. My baby responsed with a soft kick. Then I heard footsteps and I turned around. My husband was walking down the steps.

"Hey you!" I said as I watched him walking down, "Are you done with the nursery?"

He nodded and lay next to me, "And I am so tired." he said as he started to massage my feet.

"You have no idea how much my feet hurt before you started massaging them." I said with a smile on my face.

"Well mine hurt also because of the hard work I had to do…"

"Oh I doubt it."

"You don't believe me?"

"I may will, once you show it to me." I asked him with puppy eyes.

He sighed, "You really wanna see it?"

I nodded, "Been waiting the whole day for it. But we can wait until tomorrow, I guess." I added. "Listen, so I've been thinking about…"

"About what?"

"I think we should go back to the U.K., not as in moving back of course."

"What are you trying to tell me?" he asked me confused.

"Leah's going to have her baby in every week now and your mother is all alone in the big house… I mean, of course your siblings are visiting her but… still alone you know. Besides, you miss her -I know it- and you miss your siblings… you just miss your family. I have my mother just around the corner, she's just a town away."

He looked me in the eyes, "You want to go back."

"I want to go back. Just for a few days. I mean, I'm going to have to go to the hospital every Friday. We can't stay long enough for anything bad to happen any way."

"But what if it's no good for you?" I asked myself the same question since days. I was unsure whether I would be able to be okay. Maybe this would end up terribly. But maybe… just maybe this would be just right with us. And I would take that risk to find out.

* * *

**I know, it's been a _very_ long time since the last time I updated this story... I've been just too busy.**

**Hope you liked it.**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic  
**


	30. A harmonic bomb

**A new chapter! I know, it's been a while.**

**Enjoy reading it.**

**

* * *

30. A harmonic bomb**

I was sitting on the floor of the living room. Around me were thousands of photoalbums, with millions of pictures in it. I decided to organize them.

I was bored. I was pregnant and bored. It was already 11 p.m. and I was still up. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep until I knew Troy was home. Until I knew he got some safely.

I sighed and brushed through my dark brown locks as I looked around myself. I didn't even knew we had so many pictures. I even found pictures from my 22nd birthday!

I got up and made myself another cup of tea. On my way to the kitchen I stepped on several pictures - I felt like I was walking on water, due to the fat feet I had gotten during the pregnancy.

In the last couple of weeks, Troy didn't seem happy. He seemed stressed and he bailed on me all the time! He yelled at me and we fought like crazy because he had to always work until 2 in the morning. I mean, I want my husband for myself as well! I need my husband as well! I didn't know why... Maybe it was just one of those periods of marriage you have to get through - I don't know.

My cell rang as I filled up the cup with hot water.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I'm gonna be late tonight..." I heard Troy's voice on the other line. There were noises behind him. People talking, laughing, flirting... drinking.

"Are you... Are you in a bar?" I asked shocked. Has he been at bars all the time?

"No..." he said in a not convincing voice.

I was silent.

"Alright, fine maybe I am. So what? Who cares?"

"Who cares? I do, Mr. I-can-drink-how-much-I-want!"

"Well it's not like I'm going to drive!"

"Oh I will make sure you get a taxi!" I hissed back at him. Then I sighed.

"Are you mad?" he asked me in a sweet, almost innocent, voice.

"No..." I let out a deep breath, "I would do the same. If I could, I mean. I can understand... Just take a taxi. Promise me to take a taxi."

"I promise you, mother of my unborn child." he joked.

I giggled, "You still have that Bolton charme, for sure... Don't use it with another hot looking woman, you hear me?"

"Your word in God's ear." he sang. "Alright, I have to go. A smokin' hot woman just walked in."

I laughed, "She better be a lesbian."

"Oh honey, we all know that the best women are not gay." he said, "I promise to be home before the sun rises."

"Well, if you promise..."

"Have a good night. Love ya." and then he hung up.

"I love you, too." I mumbled into the cell.

Suddenly I felt soft kicks inside of me. "Yeah, I am not happy as well. But you can't stop Daddy from doing what he wants... He's a real pighead. And I hope you won't get that from him. Because it can be quite annoying at times."

Hours later I was lieing awake in my bed. Partly because our child wouldn't stop kicking and partly because I couldn't stop worrying about Troy. It was five a.m. - the sun hasn't yet rosen up. But it would soon. I sighed and got up as I heard the door opening downstairs.

There were only footsteps at first. Then laughter. Laughter of Troy and... a female. Did he seriously bring another woman into _our_ house?

I quickly walked downstairs, but stopped behind a wall as I heard voice.

"Oh I am _sooo_ drunk!" A blonde female cried. Then she laughed.

Troy laughed along, "Shh! You have to be quite because of..."

"Your wife?" she asked after a giggle.

He nodded, "Yup, because of her."

"Oh come on, she's already sleeping. If it is your wife who is sharing one bed with you."

"What's that suppose to mean, Lizzy?" Troy hissed in his drunken state.

"Well, we all know that you are still a player, Bolton. You still flirt at work. Every single woman still wants you, even those who are 'happily married'. Besides, once a player, always a player."

He eyeballed the blonde, tall, green-eyed, woman. "The guestroom's down the hall, last door on the left." he said in a... well a serious voice - or as serious as you can get when you are drunk.

Lizzy played with her blonde hair and eyeballed him, "Don't you wanna come with me?"

"Down the hall, last door on the left." Troy said, not looking at her.

Lizzy looked confused, "I didn't know, you had a line."

"And you've crossed it."

"Oh just now, or already at the bar?" she asked in an arrogant voice.

Troy sighed, "I have fun with you, I really do Lizzy. But-"

"Oh come on! There's always a but, isn't there? Why can't you just enjoy it for crying out loud!"

"We are colleagues."

"But we could be more..." she said and touched his hand.

Troy rejected her hand right away, "No we can't."

"Fine, you will come around someday..." she said and turned around.

"Have a good night, Elisabeth."

She turned around, "For what it's worth, you are still the hot bachelor you were years ago. You didn't change a bit, Troy Bolton. No one can tame you, not even that wife of your's." And with those words she walked into the guest room.

My untameable husband stood in the open kitchen, caught in his own thoughts. Was it true? _Did_ he still flirt? _Hasn't_ he changed? _Did _I or _didn't_ I tame him?

That Lizzy woman confused me. Colleauge! That's what Troy calls his super-hot and man stealing whore!

I watched my husband getting himself a bottle of water. He filled up a glas and drank it out slowly, watching the view of Laguna Beach out of the window. What was he thinking of?

With a sad look on my face, I walked upstairs... and went to bed.

Was it me who made him unhappy?

After 30 minutes of lieing awake in the bed, I heard the door opening. Troy walked in, already in his pyjamas. He layed next to me and I smelled the alcohol. Gosh, he had drunken a lot! It made me sick. No worse, it made me wanna vormit.

I turned around and pretented that he woke me up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." he apologized.

Gosh, I couldn't take that awfull smell! "Take a shower."

"What?" he asked me confused.

"Take a shower if you wanna sleep in the same bed with me tonight. Otherwise we have three guestrooms."

"Two."

"Huh?"

"A colleauge is curshing tonight. Hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all... Just get a shower already!" I said and turned around. "Your smell makes me wanna vormit."

"Nice way of saying I love you, don't cha think?" Troy said as he got out of the bed.

"You don't want to fight with a pregnant, about to vormit, woman right now, Mr! Take a shower or sleep in another room." I ordered as I lifted myself up.

"It is not my problem I smell like that!"

"Oh yes it is! Because _you_ decided to drink! _You_ decided to go to that bar! _You_ decided to come home totally drunk and with a colleauge under an arm!" I hissed at him.

"You know what? I don't need this right now!"

"Good!" I yelled at him and watched Troy walking out of our bedroom.

"I'll be downstairs." he mumbled and closed the door behind himself.

"Make sure Lizzy is happy." I whispered to myself and sighed.

Another night, another fight.

The next morning I woke up in an empty bed. I got up and wrapped a morning gown around my pregnant body as I slowly walked downstairs. On my way I suddenly noticed an amazing smell - the smell of French Toast and oranges. I smiled, Troy was willing to make it up to me! I mean, it was awfull night yesterday.

But I stopped in the middle of the open kitchen once I saw who was in the kitchen. It wasn't Troy who had been cooking. NO, it was his colleauge! What was the name of the man stealing whore again? Right, Elisabeth! That blonde hoe was standing in _my_ kitchen cooking! I prayed that I was dreaming. I hoped that I was in some kind of dream. A dream I would wake up from soon.

Elisabeth nearly dropped the plate as she saw me, "Oh, hi."

_Oh_, _hi_? That's all she's going to say? What, did she thought that I was some phantasy? Did she doubt that I existed?

Her eyes moved to my 37 weeks pregnant belly, "Wow, you really are pregnant."

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, no offence, but no one ever believed that you and Troy... Well, the whole world thinks that you guys are divorced. No one sees you. You don't go out in public."

_Ha, if she knew why! If she knew that I was doing this for my child!_ "Uhm... okay." I said a little confused.

"Obviously you guys are married - everyone doubted that as well. But _hellooo_ wedding rings, right?" Lizzy said. She was probably talking because this whole situation was akward for me.

"Yeah... right." I agreed with her and walked into the open kitchen. "Have you seen my husband?"

"Uhm he's in the shower. I assume... He went into that direction." She said and pointed to the right.

I smiled, "No he isn't showering..." I answered and got an orange from the table.

"He isn't?" she asked me confused.

"Have you talked to him today?" I asked her as I got a tissue from the table.

"Well, he... I mean, he walked into the kitchen and just told me that we had some serious conversations to do... Did I do something inappropriate?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I didn't hear you guys come in last night. But if Troy says that you guys have to have a serious conversation then... I mean, he's gotta have a reason." I said and walked to the direction Lizzy has pointed at, "I just hope you didn't make him angry, Lizzy."

"Who told you my name?" she cried after me.

"The wife knows everything." I said and knocked at the dark wodden door.

He didn't response. Not in form of a word, or an action... no response at all.

I opened the door, with a waggleing tissue in the doorframe. "I'm coming in peace."

Troy was sitting in an armchair, reading a book.

"Well if you don't want to talk to me, you should at least talk to Elisabeth."

He was silent.

"She's standing in our kitchen. She's actually cooking, you know?"

He looked up at me. "Just don't talk to me, Gabriella."

"I'm sorry?"

"I don't want to fight. I am tired of fighting and swearing and more fighting... I just... Let's not talk today, okay?"

I was confused, "You don't want to fight... so you don't want to talk to me today? Like, the whole day? How can you-"

He put the book away and got up, "Look, I don't know why but lately you are a harmonic bomb, who just waits to explode. I don't know why you are so hormonic lately but that's... if we keep on yelling at each other we won't be... I don't want to fight. Your pregnancy is as risky as it is and I don't want to... So no talking, alright?"

I nodded, "But get your bitchy colleauge out of our house. She's creeping me out!" I hissed at him.

"That's what I meant." he said and walked out.

I sighed and let myself fall into the armchair. I put my hands on my belly and stared out of the window. "Gosh, why is this so hard lately!"

It was eight p.m. and I was sitting in front of the fireplace eating ice cream. It was a rainy evening in Laguna Beach, a stormy night to be exact.

Troy drove along with Lizzy to work after he talked to her. I was earsdropping and nearly heard everything. He told her that there was a line. They both were colleauges and he had no intention to get closer to her than they already were. He said, well he lied, that he was in a happy marriage, that he was going to be a father soon and that he had absolutely no intention in being more than just colleauges. She agreed and apologized, even though she did not know what she had done. Then they both went to work. She apologized to me as well. Said she's sorry for the words she had thrown at me.

After she left I walked outside and started to play on my guitar. In the last hours, I wrote 3 songs. 3 songs on the guitar.

The door opened and Troy walked in, completely wet from head to toe.

"Damn it, why do I never have an umbrella with me?" Troy cruised as he got out of his coat.

"You're home early." I said noticing. Then I remembered that we shouldn't talk today.

"It was an easy day..." Troy answered as he got out of his shoes.

"Are we talking again?" I asked him carefully before I put a spoon with ice cream into my mouth.

He walked over to the couch and threw himself next to me. Then he took the ice cream from me. "Hey!" I protested.

"Oh, you've been eating this crap for months now. Don't complain." he said and took a spoon of the ice cream, "I've had a crappy week. I need ice cream right now."

"Really, why's that?" I asked.

"It's just been a stressfull week... That's all." he answered. "Oh and by the way, I found a solution for us."

"For my hormonic pregnant body and you? I'm all ears."

"We've got a flight tomorrow morning." he said and held up two tickets.

"And where are we flying to?"

"Bahamas."

"Bahamas? Why didn't you pick Sydney instead? Is as far away as the Bahamas! Gosh, couldn't you think of a place somewhere neared?" I hissed at him.

He was silent. He didn't say anything. Instead he just eyeballed me.

"For how long?" I said and got one ticket from him. "For two weeks? Are you joking? We can't be gone for two weeks! I have appointments! What if-" he stopped me with his forefinger on my lips.

"You won't die in those two weeks."

"Who knows."

He smirked, "Why are you so freaking pessimistic?"

I shrugged, "I just don't want to have a miscarriage again. Do you?"

"This is not about your pregnancy, Gabriella. I don't know why but you're _very_ hormonic lately. And I don't want this - and with this I mean your hormonic self- to ruin what we have here." he said and fondled my cheek, "That's why we need this vacation. We need to spend some time together again. We could do Yoga again, what'cha think about that?"

"I am still doing Yoga. It's you, who stopped." I said in an icy cold voice.

He sighed and brushed through his hair, "We can't go on like that."

"Like what?"

"Like this! We need to communicate again, Gabriella. We need to connect again."

"Well whose fault is that we don't communicate, Troy!"

"Oh, so you're saying it's my fault you yell at me all the time?"

"Yes! Because I get bored sitting here all day! You are working all the time. I can't... I need to spend time with you again. Not just two weeks. I need you to... Gosh, I need you to _want_ to be with me."

"Are you saying I am doing this on purpose? I am not doing this on purpose! I can't just decide to take a day off to spend it with you, Gabriella!"

"WHY NOT?" I yelled back.

"Because I am not my own boss any more. I hardly got those two weeks off, Gabi. But I took them off, because my marriage is more important to me than my job."

I nodded.

"But we can change the destination if you really want to."

"How about a place in the States? Maybe even in winery or so in California. I don't want anything fancy, Troy. I just want to spend time with you. And if something does happen, we're still in the States and we're closer to Addison."

He nodded, "I get your point..." He placed the ice cream on the table. Then he hugged me with one arm, "You know we do have a winery in California..."

"Really?" I asked him with a soft smile on my lips.

"Really." he said and kissed me.

* * *

**Okay, so my last MacBook Pro is now... well in heaven. On that MacBook were all my stories, all my videos, all my very important documents. **

**Luckily, I got a new one (the one, which I am currently typing from). My new MacBook Pro is awesome! I've fallen in love with it (The first thing I did, was writing a new chapter for 'It's you and it's me'). I haven't had yet the chance to copy my story from , but I will soon. Hope you guys understand now why the update is so late.**

**Xoxo Nic**

**P.S.: I also had an alternative ending for the story. I had the story written all down on my last MacBook... :( But oh well, now I can write a whole new ending :D.**


	31. We had to have this conversation

**31. We had to have this conversation**

I was sitting in a canopy swing and looked out at the grapes, which were ready to become wine. It was amazing here in California. It was early in the morning and the sun had just begun rising up. I smiled as I took a sip of my orange juice - I wish I could stay here forever. But forever was ending soon. In exactly one day.

I brushed through my dark brown locks and placed my left hand on my stomach as I felt my little daughter kicking inside. She liked that place as well. It made us both so much calmer. It made me freak out less, it made me relax more.

I took a bite of my french toast as I inhaled the California smell. The smell of pure luxury. Of pure peace. Of pure freedom. I didn't want to leave this place. I never wanted to go back.

My day dreaming got interrupted by a blanket covering me up.

"You're all cool." my husband said as he sat next to me.

"I thought you are sleeping."

"So did I." he said and kissed me softly.

"I couldn't miss our last sunrise here." I said smiling.

He looked at the horizon, "There will be others."

"No, not like this one. Not as just a married couple. Not as just happy married people." I answered and took another sip of my orange juice.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me concerned.

"I'm okay... I'm... It's nothing, I'm okay." I said, staring at the horizon.

"Why are you so thoughful? Share with me. You don't need to carry this pressure around by yourself." he said as he hugged me with his right arm as he sat next to me.

I sighed and let my head rest on his shoulder, "I have this feeling lately... And I..."

"What feeling?"

"The end will be sooner than you think." I said in trance. I didn't like this feeling.

"What?"

"Make sure she gets a good education and don't be the father who hates her boyfriend just because she didn't tell you about him at first. Be protective, but let go when the time comes, Troy. Make sure she is happy. And don't work too much. Try to not turn into the workaholic again, okay?"

"Gabriella, what are you talking about?"

"Promise me, Troy." I said looking at him with serious eyes.

"I promise."

"Good." I said and let my head rest on his shoulder again.

"Why did we just had this conversation, Gabs?"

"Because sooner or later we had to have this conversation. And honestly, I don't think we have much time left."

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked me worried.

"If it comes down to her or me, choose her. If anything happens to us, make sure she is the one who stays safe."

"Stop it." he said and got up. "Stop talking to me like... Just stop, okay?"

"Don't do this." I said to him.

"Don't do WHAT?" he asked me desperately.

"Don't ruin this moment. Don't try to avoid the unavoidable. Don't run away when you have to stand still."

He looked at me like he was holding back his tears. "But you're..."

I shrugged, "I may be 40 weeks pregnant but... Troy, we both know that I have an 65% chance of dieing. And I accepted that.

I'm giving the company to you. You will be the owner of Rock Mafia, as well as my papers for my life assurance. You will get everything that I own. I made sure we have some nice photos in our photoalbums. I categorized them by date, if she ever wants to know something about her mother. The albums are in boxes in my closet. You will find some songs I recorded and paintings as well. On my MacBook there is a file. I want you to print out this file. It's my story. My story for her. I hope it will answer most of the questions she ever will have. But-"

"Gabriella stop it." he said with tears forming in his crystal blue eyes.

"No. This-"

"Stop it!" he said and I just hugged him. I felt my shirt getting wet from his tears. It was silent moment though. "I can't lose you." he whispered into my ear.

"You won't. I will always be with you."

"But what am I gonna do wi-"

"You will be a great father with or without me by your side, alright?" I said, now crying myself. "This isn't how I imagined our last day here to start." I said and we both laughed.

* * *

A short new chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading it. Please comment. The story is slowly coming to its end.

Xoxo Nic


	32. A pregnant beauty

**A new chapter :D.  
**

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32. A pregnant beauty

I was sitting in a comfortable chair, getting my hair done. I have been sitting in that chair for over two hours and I was getting really bored. I texted all of my friends, made some final deals via my record label and texted Troy to finally get here.

"How much longer do we have to make my stupid hair?" I asked the stylists, who were working on my hair.

"Not much longer, Gabs..."

"Good because a) I am bored, b) I am bored and c) thanks to my hormones I am _such_ a diva right now and I am _so_ sorry for that." I said and looked at myself in the mirror. Those locks looked good on me. Those long locks were perfect for my photoshoot with Troy and our unborn child. It was my first pregnant shoot. It was my idea and Troy decided to do it, after I had to talk him into this for hours.

"When will your husband be here?" Brooke Burke, the photographer asked me.

"In a bit..." I said and smiled sadly.

"Why so sad?" she said and touched my shoulder.

I shrugged, "My husband and I were in the vineyards the past few weeks and now that we're back I can't help but be the hormonic bomb again." I said and felt a tear rolling down my face.

"That's what pregnancy does to you."

I nodded, "Yeah, I noticed that as well. But I thought it would go away after the first trimester... I guess I was wrong."

"Every pregnancy is different."

"And I know _that_ as well." I said and heard the front door opening. "My husband is finally here. Listen, I hope it's okay that we make the shoot here. Due to my risky pregnancy we have to avoid any stress for me and the baby."

She smiled softly, "It's not even a thinkable problem, Gabriella."

I returned her smile and saw Troy walking towards me. "There are a lot of people in our house." he said as he reached me.

I shrugged, "You're the one who wanted picture with my 40 weeks bump. You wanted _good_ pictures. You get them. All you need is to sacrife a bit."

"But 15 people are a lot don't you think?"

I shrugged again, "Sacrifes, honey. It's all about sacrifes." I sang and kissed him. "How was your day?"

"Just like any other day. Wait, expect it was my last day for two months."

"You shouldn't have taken off-"

"I may shouldn't have, but I certainly wanted to." he said and kissed me again.

"You want to shower before we start shooting?" I asked him, "We got plenty of time until the sun sets..."

He looked me into my chocolate brown eyes, "You're a pregnant beauty, you know that?"

I blushed, "You didn't answer my question."

He kissed me again, "Five minutes." he said and rushed away.

I turned around and walked over to Brooke. I sat down on a chair as I felt my daughter kicking really strong.

"Where did he go?"

"Showering." I answered and placed my hand on my stomach, "Ouch."

"You're okay?" she asked me worried.

I nodded, "She's just kicking."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah..."

"No contractions?"

I smiled, "No contractions are worse I believe..."

Her worried look did not disappear. "If you say so..."

"Stop worrying, Brooke." I said and she nodded.

"Well then we could easily make some pictures of you while we are waiting for your husband."

I nodded and got up, "Let's get started then."

Hours later I was laying in our bed, unable to sleep. Although I should be tired after we shot for about 5 hours, I couldn't sleep. Even my unborn daughter was sleeping. But I couldn't.

I sighed and got up. With my gown wrapped around my pregnant body, I walked downstairs. I sat down on a chair in my office and opened my MacBook Pro. Then I opened a file which was called _'Untitled' _ since I hadn't found a name. I was typing it all down. Everything that had happen between Troy and me. I did that for her. She should know how her parents... In case she would be left with only one parent after I gave birth. I had to make sure she didn't believe everything the others tell. I scrolled down every single page of the 358 pages until I was at the last page. Then I started typing again...

_My mom took a deep breath, „Pfew, right. And I thought you're going to move away. As in another country or so..."_

„_Well actually I will." I said and bit on my lip._

„_WHAT?" My mom asked me._

„_I'm going to move to London."_

„_Great Britain?" My mother asked me shocked_

„_Yeah..."_

„_Just because of Troy?" My Mom asked me._

„_No, he didn't suggest it. I did. I want to move to London."_

„_Well...okay then." My mother said and sat down, „Speaking of Troy, where's this wonderful man?"_

„_She really likes him, doesn't she?" Ashley whispered to me._

„_Well mother...He's not here at the moment."_

„_Where is he then?"_

„_In a meeting."_

„_Then call him and tell him to come here."_

„_It's not that easy."_

„_Why not? Is your phone broken?"_

„_No, no... It's just he's in...Australia."_

„_AUSTRALIA? Gabriella, what is he doing there? It's still Christmas!"_

„_He needs to work..."_

„_He needs to work.." she echoed me, „Work? Seriously? Gabriella, what kind of wo-„_

„_Mom don't start like that."_

„_But, what do you want from me? I'll come here all this long way to New York, to just see you and him. And here I am, without __**him**__!"_

„_Mother, please. Stop making such a drama out of it!" I said and ran through my hair._

„_I am not making drama here! I am just telling you, that your fiancé is in __**Australia**__! Do you know where that is? On the other side of the world! God knows what will happen over there. I mean, what if he's going to-„_

„_Mother, please! He won't sleep with some Australien callgirl."_

„_I was going to say have an accident, but this one is an option also!" she hissed at me, „Gabriella Maria Anne Montez, have I teached you nothing?"_

„_Well if I would live by your rules, he would have been locked in this apartment."_

„_At least he would be HERE!" she said in a loud voice._

„_Alright, we should calm down... Tee anyone?" Ashley asked in a sweet voice._

„_Not for me." My mother said, never even getting her eyes off of me._

„_Same here."_

„_I can't believe it!" she said and brushed through her hair, „He chooses his work over you."_

„_Take that back! It's an important meeting!"_

„_Yeah, right. That's what he tells you..."_

„_Whatever mother." I said and got up._

I saved it and closed the file. A smile made it's way into my face as I remembered the day I told my mother I was engaged... And moving to Great Britian.


	33. Ten more years

**33. Ten more years**

The bell rang as I was lieing on my couch. 41 weeks pregnant and still no baby in sight. Although my bloodpressure was normal, I was still worried. Worried about her, worried about Troy and worried about myself. The last nights had all been sleepless for me.

I sighed and slowly got up from the couch. The bell rang again as I walked to the door.

"Coming!" I yelled as I slowly reached the door. My feet were killing me. I brushed through my dark brown locks as I opened the door.

"I'm engaged!" I heard Ashley's voice before I saw her.

"What?"

"I'm engaged! As in getting married!" Ashley said and I hugged her.

"OhmyGosh! You're engaged! Getting married! I will _so_ plan your wedding!" I said as we hugged tightly. "Show me that freakin' ring!" I demanded and released her from my hug.

Her ring was _so_ beautiful! It consisted of Bead-set diamonds exquisitely accentuate a round brilliant center stone in a setting that evokes glamour and romance. I smiled as I looked at the ring, "It's such a beautiful ring." I said smiling as I hugged her again. Suddenly I felt some wetness flowing down my legs. "Oho..." I said.

"What?" Ash asked me confused.

I smiled, "Go inside and grab my bag for the hospital. My water just broke."

"WHAT?" Ashley said in panic as she ran inside, "Where's that freakin' bag?" she yelled.

"In the kitchen."

"Why is the bag for the hospital in the _kitchen_?"

I shrugged and slowly made my way up the stairs to her car when I felt my first contraction. Yeah, it was about time to give birth... Suddenly I felt more thick wetness flowing down my legs. I looked down. This wasn't my water which flew down my legs. This was blood. This wasn't good. None of it were. "Ashley!" I cried and sat down on one of those steps.

Seconds later she ran over to me, "Okay, I think we have every... What's wrong? Wait, is this blood? Are you freakin' losing blood right now?" she said to me in panic.

I nodded, "Listen to me, I want you to call an ambulance. Right now."

"Y-Yeah, sure. Right. Ambulance. Got it." she said as she got out her cellphone. "Hi, I need an ambulance to 29th of Vista Del Sol. The patient is a 41 weeks pregnant woman, who is losing blood and is having contraction. Her blood group is AB. You should hurry, she's already lost lots of blood." Ashley answered and hung up. Then she nodded, "Done."

"Good. Now come over and sit next to me because I am freakin' scared." I said with tears rolling down my face.

She rushed over to me and hugged me.

I wiped away the tears from my face and took a deep breath, "I don't know how much time I have left until I pass out, but considering the amount of blood I've already lost, it's not a lot of time." I said sobbing, "Okay, so here's what you're gonna do: Wait until the ambulance is near Oceanside Wellness before you call Troy. Otherwise he will freaking... just wait until the ambulance is near Oceanside, okay? Troy's out surfing so he might not hear his cellphone. Call him three times, until you call your fiancé. And yeah it sounds freaking nice to finally call Scott your fiancé." I said and we both laughed. Then I felt another contration, seconds later I felt the blood flowing down my knees, "Tell Scott to get Troy from the St. Ann's Beach. Troy's gonna need someone beside him, who is not a female. Next I want you to open up the bag." I said and she did what I told her. "The yellow paper note is a list of doctors. Addison's on the top. Then I have Derek Shepeard in case something neurological is coming up. Dr. Theodora Altman is the best for cardio."

Ashley nodded the whole time, like she was a robot.

I smiled, "Don't worry, Ash. Nothing's gonna happen to me." I lied to her face and hugged her again.

She cried into my shirt as I felt another contraction and another countless amount of blood flowing down my knees. I was getting weaker and weaker. "And Ash..." I said as she looked up.

"Yeah?"

"I love you. And I can't believe that 10 years back we were single women walking through the streets of New York City. Who would know that only ten years later, you'd be engaged and I'd be married and having my first child. Well, first child with my first husband. No, wait that didn't come out quite right..." I said and felt another contraction. I was slowly losing consciousness.

Ashley laughed with tears rolling down her face, "I know what you mean... Gosh, I never would have guessed that our lifes would turn out like this."

I smiled weakly at my best friend as I watched her talking like crazy, "Ashley."

"What?"

"I am happy for you. Really happy. You're gonna be a wonderfull bride."

She smiled at me.

"Ash, if something happens to me, I want you to give Troy a letter. The letter is in the bag. Give it until to him if... you know, if something serious happens to me. Make sure he suffers in case I am going to die. Make sure he really suffers, not just ignore my death and start working... he needs to accept the fact that I may be dead after I give birth. Because he hasn't yet."

Ashley smiled at me sadly and nodded, "You won't die. Not today and not in ten years. We freakin' need another ten years minimum..."

I nodded and returned her smile, "Ten years, you got it..."

Suddenly everything around her smile went black. And then I felt my head dashing against the stone wall. Yeah, good thing there's the number of the neurological surgeon on the note.

* * *

**There will be an epilogue, but overall this is the end of 'It's you and me'. I hope you enjoyed reading :)**

**Please review,**

Xoxo Nic**  
**


	34. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_"I was ready to see what the world had for us. Ready to face the everyday life with Troy. Ready to see his bad sides, ready to show him mine. As ready as I was to face the bad facts, as ready I was to see the wonderful facts. I was ready for everything."_

Emily Maria Bolton closed the book in front of her. She smiled as she re-read the last sentences.

"Woah, that wrote your mother?" Carter, her boyfriend asked her.

She nodded, trying to hold back the tears which formed in her eyes, "Yeah... she wrote it all down. Her whole story. She did it for us. For my little sister and me."

"Does Lauren know about this?" he asked the dark blonde woman.

Emily shook her head, "No... not yet. I don't want her to read it just yet. She's 15. She shouldn't... She has all the photoalbums and paintings. I'll show her the book later." she said and let her head rest on her boyfriend's shoulder.

"What about your dad?"

"What about him?" she asked him back as stared out of the window.

"How did he... I mean, did he... Did he read it?"

"The book? Well, not that I know of. But I can imagine he did..."

"How did he manage the death of his soul mate?"

"Why are you getting so sentimental, here?" Emily asked the dark haired guy. "That's not like you."

He shrugged, "Well it must've taken a lot of effort to show me something so private."

Emily stroke through her dark blonde long locks, "My Dad... I don't even think he's over her just yet. Ten years after her death and he's still... I know that my mom wished for him to be find another women... She just wanted him to be happy. She sacrificed so much to make happy. But he... it's really hard for him to let anyone in. She was the one who managed to break the wall he had built for so many years."

"Is that why he's rarely at home?"

The blue eyed girl shrugged, "Perhaps. He's busy with the record company as well... I don't know."

"Is it hard for you to take care of your little sister?" Carter continued asking.

"No. My dad tries to be home whenever possible. But I understand that he has to work a lot. I mean, after all he has two girls to take care off. Obviously he wants Lauren to continue going to a private school and me going to Yale. Somehow he has to finance everything. And he refuses to let me work - even if it's just in a local shop here in Laguna. He wants me to enjoy my life while I still can, because we all know that it could be over in just a sec." Emily said and was silent for a second, "Besides, I've got Ash and Scott just around the corner. They come around whenever their twins manage to make a mess out of their house. Then they come over and make a mess in our home. It's quite funny." she added and laughed a little. "Besides, we have lots of family members in England. And we visit them like... every month or second month."

"How's England?"

"You should come along next time. It's lots of fun. We have a mansion in Dover, we meet there every summer. The house is always filled with noise from people. It's always full..."

He smiled, "I totally forgot that you're from a huge family. Seeing you in this huge house all by yourself makes me forget."

"I'm not all by myself, Carter. I've got you."

"Yeah but Lauren's in Spain..."

"Only for one week. Besides, it's a class-trip." she said and shrugged. "I hope her Spanish finally improves." she said laughing. "My Grandma tries so hard to teach her Spanish at home. But no luck with Lauren."

Carter smiled, "Unlike her, you are good at Spanish."

Emily smiled and shrugged, "After all, I've got Spanish blood in my veins. As does Lauren."

Carter looked at the many pictures, which were standing in the house. One showed the happy family at Christmas Eve. Gabriella Bolton was about 37 weeks pregnant due to her baby bump. Next to her was her husband. Troy Bolton didn't age. Even at the age of 35 he was still the hottest man in the room, once he entered a crowded one. Every women wanted him, but Gabriella was the one who had him. Who truely had him - him and his heart. In front of the proud parents was their little angle: Emily Maria Bolton. She was about eight on the picture. She was grinning, showing all of her white teeth.

All Bolton members were wearing dark red sweaters. Next to Troy were the Speer two-some. Ashley wore a berry colored sweater while Scott wore a beige one. Both were grinning and showing their pearly white teeths.

Behind all human beings was a fireplace. The same fireplace Carter and Emily were sitting in front of just that moment.

"You know, you have the looks of your Dad. The eyes, the cheekbones, the hair... You look just like your dad." Carter said smiling, "But the character's probably from your mom. Because your dad is the opposite. You guys are like fire and rain."

Emily blushed, "I am the fire, for sure. Just like my mother was."

They heard the door opening and turned their heads towards it. Troy Jonathan Bolton at the age of 45 entered his home sweet home. He got out of his coat and his shoes before he slowly walked into the kitchen.

"You guys want something to eat?" he asked the two lovebirds, who were sitting on a couch.

"No, dad. We're fine, thanks." Emily answered for both of them. Seconds later he heard his daughter's giggle filling the room. He smiled as he remembered the time with his dead wife. Emily and Carter were just like he had been with Gabriella. Gabriella... Gosh, how much he missed her. Every minute, every second since she left him he had missed her. He missed her smell, her giggle, her vitality and seriousness. He missed her touch... He missed her.

He smiled as he remembered her words, _"Don't be the father who hates her boyfriend just because she didn't tell you about him at first. Be protective, but let go when the time comes, Troy. Make sure she is happy."._ She was happy and Troy kinda did hate Carter at the beginning. Because he is just like Troy used to be. He is a player, a player who Emily manages to tame at times. Although he had broken her heart, Emily kept going back to him. They kept having the typical on-off-relationship. Hopefully that would change soon.

Although her death was 10 years ago, he still felt bound to her. He has never been unfaithful to her. Not after the one time he had almost lost the love of his life. Troy couldn't manage to ever let another women in. Ashley was someone he was able to talk to about Gabi. Scott turned out to be one of his best friends as well.

Troy tried to adjust being a single father. He tried to adjust to raising two girls. But he couldn't date other women. No matter how beautiful they were, no matter how much he smiled when he saw them... He couldn't let them in. He couldn't... He couldn't be let himself be happy with another women. It's not that he was afraid to introduce other women to his daughters, he just couldn't picture himself with another women. None women but Gabriella.

Ashley and Scott had helped Troy a lot with raising two girls. The sex-talk had Ashley with Emily - and Troy had been _so_ thankful for that. Troy smiled as he remembered that day...

_"Ashley!" Troy called from the kitchen._

_"Just hold on a second, I am kinda busy here." Ash responded from the living room. She was braiding Emily's hair. Actually, she was teaching Emily how to braid her hair herself._

_"It's important, Ash." Troy urged._

_"Ugh, fine. Only because you are like my brother." Ash said and rolled her eyes, "Keep practicing, one day you'll be able to do it yourself." she said to Emily as she walked over to the kitchen._

_Troy was cooking chinese in the kitchen and it smelled horrible spicy._

_"God, are you trying to kill us with that much curcuma?"_

_"Uhm no..." Troy said, a little helpless._

_"Don't look at me like I will fix this. You did this mess and you have to clean it up." she said smiling, "So, what do you want? What's so urgent that I had to stop-"_

_"I think it's time for the sex-talk." Troy interrupted his female best friend in a whisper tone._

_Ash's mouth dropped, "She's 17."_

_"And now think what you were doing at 17. Probably not braiding your hair, now were you?"_

_"Oh you know actually, Gabi and me were having lots of fun with... You're right. It's time for the sex-talk. _So_ time for it."_

_"Good, then go."_

_"What?"_

_"You have a better connection to her. She's been hating me for the past 15 minutes. I can't help but be the embarrassing father."_

_Ashley smiled, "I used to hate my Dad at that age as well... I regret it now."_

_Troy glanced at her, "Fine, I'll go!" she said and took a deep breath. "You're so glad that we're besties. I wouldn't have done it for everybody, you know."_

_"I know. And I also know that Gab's would have done it but..."_

_Ash smiled sadly, "Well then I feel honoured to have the sex-talk with your eldest daughter."_

Of course Ash missed her best friend. Of course she missed talking to somebody, sharing a past with someone...

After Gabriella's death, Ashley and Troy grew closer together. They often spent time at Troy's house, late nights in which they wallowed in memories. Memories they had with Gabriella. Memories they had together. Memories which made them smile, others made them cry...

A part of Gabriella never left Troy. In their daughters was so much of both of them.

Emily turned out to take the looks from her father, but the character is all from Gabriella. Troy saw so much of Gabriella in his big girl. Sometimes it was like Gabriella talked to him, when Emily talked to him. Emily was even going to Yale - the same university Gabriella went to and that one year earlier than everyone else.

Lauren on the other side... Lauren was all her dad. She had blue eyes and dark brown locks, her character was a mixture of Troy's and Gabriella's. When she smiled, Gabriella's smile was visible, when she laughed, it was like her father's laughed filled the room as well. Lauren was smart, probably smarter than Emily, but she was lazy. Lauren was really, really lazy. And she turned out to be kind of a rule-breaker as well. All in all, she was like a copy of her Dad.

Over all he understood Gabriella's decision to give birth to both girls, although both births were risky. Without her, he would never have the girls. Without her he would never be a father. Without her he would never felt the love, which both girls gave him in their very own way. She changed him for good.

Without Gabriella Maria Montez there would never be Troy Johnathan Bolton.

* * *

**The Epilogue everyone! I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Over all, I think it turned out good.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

Xoxo Nic

P.S.: I'm thinking about writing a story, which is a little similar to this one. What'cha think about that?**  
**


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